Very Victorious Fairy Tales
by bluecinderella4
Summary: After being trapped in the Black Box after a disaster, Tori suggests everyone tells a story. To make it challenging, Sikowitz tells them the stories have to be a fairy tale AND the characters in the person's fairy tale must be based on people they know.
1. Trapped in the Theatre

**DANG IT I GOT ANOTHER IDEA! Don't get me wrong, it's nice to know that creative ideas are coming at me and people seem to like my stories (thank you for reading btw); but I'm working on 2 **_**Victorious**_** fanfics, a **_**Victorious/iCarly**_** crossover set to **_**Bridesmaids**_**, and one fic from another genre on hiatus, AND I'm going to do another fun contest I really, really want to do w/ four songfics.**

**No big deal though.**

**Technically, I got **_**two**_** ideas. One's semi-original (this one) and the other is another Cabbie (w/ Bade in the mix) set to another 1980's movie- please note the **_**Tootsie**_** & **_**Oliver & Company**_** fanfics heavily centered on that couple. But I couldn't resist…I just gotta get 'em out.**

**Inspiration came for this one while reading over my **_**Leverage **_**fanfic where I put my fave couple from that show in different fairy tales from the imaginations of other **_**Leverage **_**characters and then I was called to babysit four year old cousin Layne. Layne loves it when I read her her giant fairy tale book that I used to have when I was little and I read the **_**Frog Prince**_** to her and the princess' name in that was Jade. Not kidding, it was Jade- but a lot of the fairy tales in there gave princesses/princes/villains different names than what we know. Then I turned the TV to Nickelodeon and **_**Victorious**_** was on and my already messed up mind was fixated on fairy tales. So then I thought had a random thought; what if **_**Victorious'**_** Jade was in a fairy tale? Then I'd have to put other **_**Victorious**_** people in a fairy tale. But I don't know which fairy tale to pick. Maybe it'd be easier if they told their own versions of the forgettable fairy tales. Why don't I have a real life away from the internet?**

**So please forgive me for yet another fanfic; but when you gotta, you gotta. And boy do I gotta.**

**I'm not going to tell you which fairy tales they're doing, you're gonna find out for yourselves. But I can guarantee it'll be the least popular ones that aren't most likely Disney (with the exception of a few that were theatrical shorts and then a fairy tale movie). If you ask me if a certain one's in there, I'll tell you…I just won't tell you who's telling the story (MWAH HA-HA).**

**Here's an introduction to set things up.**

* * *

><p>Tori sleepily entered the Black Box Theatre. "Sikowitz," she looked at her wide-awake teacher, "why do we have to be here this early on a Saturday?"<p>

"As a precaution," Sikowitz answered to inquiry. "Tonight when we perform your production of _Cinderfella_ to the little cannibal children, I want things to go smoothly and I just know something will go wrong."

Tori gave him a strange look. "Cannibal children?"

"They like to bite people. I have also taken the liberty of inviting Lane to a preview performance this afternoon."

"What? Why?"

"He has to go to Seattle for some edible lotion festival and he really wants to see a show of yours that won't fail on it's opening night."

"A lot of opening shows with me involved do have problems," Tori agreed.

"And I figured one more dress rehearsal wouldn't hurt before Lane arrives at noon."

"Is anyone else here?"

"You're the first to arrive."

"Oh. Well, when do you think the others are coming?"

"I told the actors to come at eight."

Tori looked at her phone. "It's six forty-five!"

"As the director, you need to be here first to make sure everything goes smoothly."

"What about crew?"

"Sinjin will be arriving shortly to assist you with sets, additional lighting, and all that jazz. I must go prepare for my brief role. Also, please refrain from anything." Sikowitz walked away.

"Thanks for the tip!"

Sinjin entered the theatre. "Hi Tori," he greeted. "I printed the program for you," he handed her a program.

"Hollywood Arts presents _Snow White and the Three Stooges _directed by Tori Vega." She sighed. "Well, there's one problem!"

"What? Did I forget the 'F' in _Cinderfella_?"

"You got the title totally wrong!" She threw the program at him. "FIX IT!"

"Wow, you're not a morning person."

…

As the day progressed, things seemed to get better. Any set or lighting issues were fixed, costumes and props were prepped, and the program was even fixed.

"Aw butternut!" Tori heard Robbie's upset voice backstage.

"What now?" She went backstage. "What's up now, Robbie?"

"I can't find my contacts," Robbie explained.

"And?"

"Well, for the ball scene I'm not wearing my back-up contacts."

"Again, and?"

"I can't find them."

"Go without them."

"Then can I wear my glasses?"

"What, no? You come to the ball with your hair gelled and no glasses."

"But if I don't have contacts, and I can't wear my glasses, I'm virtually blind."

"It's true," Rex- who was sitting on a nearby set piece- confirmed.

Tori looked at her phone. "Okay, we've got some time. Why don't you go back to your house and get them?"

"Tori," Andre came running to her as Robbie left, "we got a problem."

"What now?"

"Lane's here."

"Already?"

"Yeah, he's talkin' with Sikowitz about somethin' to do with earthquakes."

"This could not happen at a worse time and-what about earthquakes?"

"I dunno, I couldn't really hear what he was saying."

"But what-"

Before Tori could finish her sentence, the ground started to shake and things began to fall. Panicking, she and Andre ran together for cover as things continued falling. Once the ground stopped shaking, the cautiously stood up as if to prepare for an aftershock. "You okay?" Andre asked her.

"Yeah, I think so."

"I...I think I know why Lane was talking to Sikowitz about earthquakes," Andre tried to diffuse any tension, but Tori only gave him an upset look in return. "Too soon?"

Tori looked at the damage and found something in the pile of fallen objects. "Looks like Rex took a pretty good beating."

"He'll be cool. Hold up, why are we treating Rex as if he's real? It's a puppet."

Beck came running over to them. "You guys okay?"

"Fine," Tori answered for them. "What about Jade?"

"I don't know, she was in the dressing room with Trina and Cat."

"Oh god!"

"What?"

"Robbie left to go back to his house just before the earthquake!"

"I'm sure he's okay."

"A LITTLE HELP HERE!" Sinjin's voice rang out as the three ran toward it. Sinjin was crouched over Robbie. "I think he got hurt?"

"YOU THINK?" Robbie sarcastically questioned back. "Get this off of me!" Everyone pulled the set piece off of his leg.

"Are you okay?" Tori questioned.

Robbie tried to stand up, but he couldn't. Thankfully, Beck and Andre caught him. "I was about to turn back for Rex when the set piece fell on my foot…and," Robbie grimaced, "I think my foot's broken."

The girls ran over to the scene. Cat gasped when she saw Beck and Andre holding up Robbie. "Aww, Robbie, what happened?"

"A fallen set piece broke my foot."

Jade snickered. "Where there's at least one casualty."

"You enjoy this?" Trina inquired.

"Very much so, yes."

Sikowitz surrounded the teenagers. "I think we're going to be here a while."

"What's wrong?" Andre asked.

"The doors are all blocked and something from the outside is blocking the emergency exit."

Lane made his way over to the gang fiddling with his phone. "Is anyone hurt?"

"Robbie is," Cat pointed to Robbie.

"Well, he's gonna have to deal with it. I can't get a signal on my cell phone."

Beck groaned. "The earthquake must've destroyed the cell phone towers."

"If the cell phone towers are damaged, the power's probably out too."

"Never fear," Sikowitz put his hands on his hips and pretended as though he was a superhero. "This looks like a job for…the back-up generator!" He started running off in one direction, but then came running back. "But that is being repaired somewhere else." Everyone groaned. "Luckily, I use real items for props and I have real flashlights." He ran to the prop room and came back with a flashlight. "Now what?"

"What is there to do?" Jade questioned back. "We're trapped in this theatre with a destroyed set and a crippled nerd."

"HEY!" Robbie protested.

"There's no need to pick on Robbie just because he's injured," Lane defended. "And I think we should all find a constructive way to occupy our incarceration here together." Tori raised her hand. "Yes Tori?"

"I have an idea." She paused. "Oh, no one's gonna ask what it is and I should just continue on?" Everyone nodded. "Well when Trina and I were younger we used to sit with our parents and go around telling stories."

Trina smiled. "Oh yeah, I remember that. We would hold Tori's Cuddle-Me-Cathy and go around the room telling one of our favorite stories."

Sikowitz applauded. "Excellent idea, Trina."

Tori looked at him confused. "But it was my idea."

"Come along and gather in the non-damaged area over there," everyone made their way over to the specific area and sat down. "Now let's turn this into a game." He rubbed his hands together in thought. "Alright; everyone in this room is going to tell a fairy tale and base the characters on real people they know. No one can repeat a fairy tale. And no one can talk during someone else's fairy tale; whoever holds the object will be the only one talking."

Cat clapped with delight. "Ooh, fun!"

"And it shouldn't be one of those popular fairy tales," Lane added. "Use ones people know, but aren't as popular thanks to a certain corporation. And since it was Tori's idea, she should start."

"And please comment and/or review at the end of the story," Sikowitz handed Tori the flashlight. "Use this to indicate you're the storyteller."

"Um…okay, sure," she took the flashlight. "Well, since I'm starting I'd like to begin with my favorite story that I think is a fairy tale…there's been some debate."

"Let's hear it," Andre insisted she continue.

"Okay," Tori smiled and began her story. "Once upon a time…"

* * *

><p><strong>A lot of stories don't usually end with once upon a time do they?<strong>

**Well, this is a start. Everyone, adults included, already has a fairy tale chosen and I've also chosen an order for them to go in. If you guys want, you can try guessing which ones will be told. But fairy tales that WILL NOT be used include…**

_**Snow White **_**(I did mention_ Snow White & the 3 Stooges_ though, so that kinda counts)**

_**Beauty & the Beast**_

_**Little Mermaid**_

_**Cinderella **_**(though it was semi-mentioned in here because it's my personal favorite fairy tale)**

_**Rapunzel**_

_**Sleeping Beauty**_

_**Aladdin**_

_**Pinocchio**_

_**Robin Hood **_**(though there's debate if that one's a fairy tale or not)**

**So yeah, feedback and guessing is good, but not required. I'd just like to know that at least somebody is reading my stories and tolerating me. And yes _Snow White & the 3 Stooges_ is a real movie featuring the 3 Stooges- _Cinderfella_ is also a movie with Jerry Lewis. Just a little tidbit for you folks.**


	2. Tori's Story

**Okay cool, positive feedback. I'm liking how people are thinking this is a kind of original idea. So I decided to update this one as fast as I could so people keep interested.**

**And I should clear up that Sikowitz is making them comment at the end and anything that's not part of the story will be in italics.**

**Proceeding forward…**

* * *

><p><em>"Um…okay, sure," she took the flashlight. "Well, since I'm starting I'd like to begin with my favorite story that I think is a fairy tale…there's been some debate."<em>

_"Let's hear it," Andre insisted she continue._

_"Okay," Tori smiled and began her story. "Once upon a time…"_

…

Once upon a time there were three little pigs- two of whom were sisters named Tori and Trina. When they were piglets, their parents died and they were sent to live on Farmer Lane's farm where they instantly befriended another piglet named Cat and they grew up happy.

And then pigs around other farms were mysteriously vanishing. Among them, were friends and acquaintances from other farms.

"Ugh," Trina oinked, "where's Molly?"

"Your fatter friend with the tiny hooves?" Tori asked.

"Hm-hm," Trina nodded, "well she was supposed to show up for dinner with me at the slop over there and she totally ditched me!"

"I'll have dinner with you Trina," Cat tried to make Trina feel better.

"I'd rather you didn't!" Trina stormed off to the slop.

"I wonder where Molly is."

"Oh she's not coming back," a male voice simply stated.

Tori and Cat looked around. "Who said that?"

"Up here," the girls looked up to see a spider with frizzy hair wave at them.

"Oh hi Sikowitz," Cat greeted.

"What did you mean by Molly's not coming back?" Tori inquired.

"Well, the time for explaining would be soon," Sikowitz began. "You see, when a pig-or any animal really- comes of age, the farmer has to make the choice to sell it to the slaughterhouse or release it into the forest nearby. Since farmers here are obviously wusses, they choose to free their animal into the forest. Since I socialize with other spiders via the web, I have learned Molly was sent into the forest where she more than likely met her doom."

"Her doom?"

"It started as a rumor, but further evidence implies it must be true."

"What?"

"The Big Bad Wolf is behind the disappearance of weaker forest animals. It's been said that pigs are the most at risk because the Big Bad Wolf hates pigs the most."

Cat gasped. "That's so mean!"

"Well then you best hope Farmer Lane sends you two and the other one to the slaughterhouse tomorrow."

Tori's eyes went wide. "Tomorrow?"

"Oh yes. You are of age now; he'll make the decision tomorrow. The web is a vital source of gossip. Did you hear that Ryder Rooster is the father of at least three different eggs from three different hens?"

Cat gasped again. "No way!"

"Oh, farm gossip is always entertaining. Well, the sun's about to set, I best be getting off to sleep."

Cat yawned. "I think I'll go to sleep too; I don't want to be tired for my adventure tomorrow!"

"_Oh the ever optimistic Cat,"_ Tori thought, _"totally unaware that tomorrow we'll be_ _doomed." _Tori tried to settle herself to get a good night's sleep, but she spent her final (restless) night in the barn tossing and turning and having nightmares about the uncertain future.

…

The next morning, Farmer Lane put different colored bracelets on the girls' hooves. "These bracelets indicate that you'll be living in the forest now," he explained to them- because in all fairy tales animals and humans could communicate with each other. "If you take them off, you're sure to be sent to the slaughterhouse."

"Do we really have to go Lane?" Tori whined.

"I'm sorry Tori, but that's a requirement."

"I can't fend for myself!" Trina protested. "I need someone to take care of me!"

"I'm sorry Trina."

Cat however, was bubbly and bouncy. "I love adventure."

"Good for you Cat." Lane looked at the three of them. "I know you'll all be fine, but you'll be better off if the three of you stick together and share a home of your own. And keep yourselves out of trouble. Good luck." Lane opened the barn gate and the three of them left forever and headed into the forest.

After walking for a while, Trina stopped. "Okay, I say we live here so we stop walking."

"But I heard this part of the forest isn't safe," Tori tried to dissuade her sister.

"Well I refuse to move any further. Besides, this area is big enough for me and a small room for you two. And once one of these animal salesman come along, I'll get me some straw."

"I don't think straw is a good material to build a house with."

"Oh please! It's material, and it's easy to build with." Trina was obviously the lazy, self-centered one in the trio. She heard an approaching wheelbarrow. "And speaking of salesman…" Trina flagged down the salesman.

A squirrel bearing resemblance to Sinjin displayed his straw. "I'm Sinjin, I'm a squirrel, and I've got straw."

"And I will take some straw for you to build my house with."

"Cool! Wait, what?"

"Looks like I got me some material, and a builder to build it for me."

"Do what now?"

"Do this and you can tell your friends you kissed me."

"Okay!"

"See, that easy."

What sounded like a howl frightened Tori and Cat. "I don't wanna live in this part of the forest," Cat was genuinely scared.

"Sorry Trina, looks like you're on your own." She and Cat continued on through the forest.

The next area they went too seemed to be safer, but Tori didn't want to take any chances. "Tori, I'm tired," Cat whined.

"I know Cat, me too. But I heard the safe part of the forest is at least a mile and a half away."

"Can we relax a minute please?"

"No, now let's go."

"But Tori-"

"Stop being such a piglet, Cat!" Cat let out an upset squeal and Tori realized she had insulted her friend. "Oh Cat, Cat I'm sorry. I just-"

"This forest has made you mean!"

"No Cat, it's just-"

"I think maybe it would be a fun adventure if I adventured on my own."

"I don't think 'adventured' is even a word."

"Now you're being like a mean teacher!"

"Cat-"

Whistling sounds were approaching. "I think that Sinjin Squirrel is coming back."

Nope. Instead of Sinjin Squirrel, Robbie Raccoon and his companion Rex the Rabbit were heading to them. "Hi," Robbie waved. "I've got sticks." Rex chuckled at this. "Rex, why do you laugh when I say that?"

"It sounds funny," Rex chuckled.

"Aren't raccoons nocturnal?" Tori asked him.

"Yeah, but not me. A lot of fun things happen in the daytime anyway so why miss them."

"Funner things happen at night," Rex commentated.

"Funner's not a word!"

"And you're not cool. You ladies want some of Robbie's sticks or not?"

"If you choose to build a house of sticks, Rex and I help build your house with you."

"Ah-ah, Robbie builds, Rex supervises."

"Thanks," Tori declined, "but my friend and I-"

"Actually Tori," Cat interrupted, "I think I'm gonna ask Robbie to help me build my house. Why don't you have your own adventure and look for your own home?"

"But Cat-"

"If you'd like," Rex hopped closer to her and raised his eyebrow, "I'll accompany you on your adventure." He winked at her.

Tori looked disgusted. "Go fall down your rabbit hole." She started walking off.

"I'll take that as a maybe!"

Tori continued her trek solo as she came across a denser part of the forest. Once she came across an area suitable for living, she waited for the next salesman- who for some reason seemed to come quicker for Trina and Cat.

A tap on her shoulder made her scream. "IT'S OKAY!" The voice assured. "I'm just a salesman skunk. My name's Andre."

"I'm Tori."

"I was just comin' here to slump."

"Aww, why?"

"The other salesmen have sold their building materials, but no one wants to take some of my stones."

"Stones?"

"Yeah. They don't want to take stones because it takes forever to build a house with." Andre sighed. "Those lazy critters."

"But aren't stones like the safest material to build a house with?"

"Stones or bricks."

"I'll take some of your stones if you help me build a house."

"Deal."

"Cool. And by the way, aren't you supposed to be-"

"Salesmen never sleep when there's so much to do all the time," Andre smiled. "Would you be upset if I accidentally let out some stink?"

"Um…I don't know how to answer that."

Andre shrugged this off and he and Tori continued to work on the house. They were still working when the sun was setting in the distance, and a passerby took notice of this. "Need a paw?" Tori turned and got a look at the passerby wolf and screamed, causing Andre to scream in response. The wolf even let out a scream. "Why are we screaming?"

"Please don't kill me!" Tori begged.

"What?"

"I know you don't like pigs, but I'm nice…really I am!"

"Hold up, you think I'm the Big Bad Wolf?"

Tori raised her eyebrow to him. "Are you?"

"No."

"Oh. Then yeah, we could use a paw."

"Cool, what can I do?"

"Could you start putting up the stone wall over on that side?"

"Yeah, sure." The wolf whistled as he assisted.

"Are you crazy?" Andre whispered to her.

"What?"

"Do you know who that is?"

"He's not the Big Bad Wolf."

"No, but he-"

"Hey," the wolf held up a small stone, "this one's kinda cool. Can I keep this?"

"Uh, sure." Tori looked back at Andre. "Whoever he is, he's nice and helpful and with him helping us the house will be done faster."

"I hope you know what you're gettin' into. And you better hope a gossiping spider isn't nearby to put this on the web."

"Why? Is he famous around this forest or something?"

"You can say that."

"Ooh is he part of the Groundhogs Acting Troupe? Some of the barnyards quote their things and those critters are hilarious."

"Just promise you won't see this wolf again."

"Why, I wanna be his friend."

"Fine, but I warned you."

…

As each of the pigs slept soundly in their new homes, spiders were gossiping on the web about what had happened in the forest with the male wolf and a female pig. Thankfully, the name of the female pig wasn't mentioned because the original spider hadn't heard it. But someone who had heard this gossip was pretty enraged from what they heard.

A bird flew away from Trina's window. Trina watched with a smile. "That little birdy tells some of the best gossip." There was a knock on the door. "WHAT?"

The door opened and a female wolf was standing there. "Hello I'm taking a survey and-"

"Not interested."

"It's just one quick question, you get a pleasant surprise."

Trina groaned. "Fine."

"Are you the pig that was flirting with my boyfriend?"

"What a stupid survey."

"Answer the question please," the wolf was trying not to get mad.

"I dunno, is your boyfriend that creepy squirrel; 'cause I gave him the okay to say that I flirted with him, though I did not."

"Then could you tell me the pig who was flirting with my boyfriend?"

"You said there was only going to be one question. You asked it, now leave."

"I don't think you want to tell me what to do."

"Buh-bye!" Trina slammed the door in the wolf's face.

The wolf sighed. "Fine, if that's how it's going to be," she went behind the giant trees and rolled out a giant fan. "Hope you don't mind a slight breeze." She turned the fan on low and watched as the house of straw blew away and left Trina in the center of a giant mess. The wolf smiled an evil smile and pulled scissors out of her fur as Trina ran away. "Oh you can't hide from me." Jade slowly followed Trina's tracks.

Trina continued running until she came across a bouncy Cat chasing a butterfly. "CAT! CAT, HIDE ME!"

"Hi Trina," Cat innocently greeted.

"I'm moving in!"

"Why?"

"I might've already made somebody mad."

"Poo."

"I'm moving in anyhow!"

"But Trina-" Trina quickly shut the door to Cat's home as Jade came up the path with her giant fan. "Hi!" Cat happily greeted the new animal. "I'm Cat, but I'm not a cat."

"I'm Jade, but it doesn't matter," Jade continued on. "Listen, I'm doing a survey-"

"Ooh fun!"

"Answer a question and you get a surprise."

"KK!"

"Were you the pig that flirted with my boyfriend?"

"Nope!"

"How can I trust you?"

"I was building my house yesterday with my new friend Robbie and his friend Rex; those were the only boys here."

Jade thought this through, and then shrugged. "I'm taking no chances."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jade turned the giant fan on low, but the house of sticks only swayed. So Jade turned the fan on medium and backed away further as the house of sticks caved in and Trina was standing in rubble again a few feet behind Cat. "You were hiding her! What are you not telling me?"

"Why are you so mean?"

"You just said the wrong thing to the wrong animal." Jade pulled out the scissors again.

"Cat," Trina began.

"Uh-huh?" Cat responded.

"Run."

"KK!" The two of them started running off as Jade turned off her fan and slowly followed the tracks again.

Tori was trying to get a good night's rest after spending the night building a house when Trina and Cat barged in, both of them screaming incoherently. "WHOA!" Tori got them to stop. "Could one of you tell me what's going on?"

"We might've met the Big Bad Wolf," Trina explained.

"Seriously?"

"She's mean," Cat commentated.

"She?"

"Her name's Jade."

"And she came to our door asking a survey questioned and afterwards she rolled out a giant fan and blew our houses down," Trina added.

"She asked us if we were flirting with her boyfriend."

The realization had hit Tori. This was what Andre had meant when he asked Tori not to socialize with her new wolf friend Beck. "I wasn't flirting with him!" Tori (loudly) confessed to the others. "I asked him to help build my house and we shared a few friendly laughs. Not once did he bring up a girlfriend or a relationship."

"I think Jade might be the jealous type."

"Thank you Catherine Obvious!"

"My name's not Catherine…is it?"

"Tori, the term is Captain Obvious," Trina corrected.

"IT MATTERS!"

"Actually, yeah it does."

The knocking at the door frightened the three pigs and they ran to the back of Tori's stone house. "Anyone home?" Much to their surprise, it wasn't Jade, but Beck.

"I brought a housewarming gift!" and Andre too.

Tori cautiously went to the door and opened it. "Phew," she breathed a sigh of relief. "I was afraid that maybe you were-"

"YOU!" This angry female voice made Tori squeal as a frightened Andre ran into her house. "You're the one who flirted with my boyfriend!"

"We did not flirt," Beck assured.

"I don't trust her anyway. You can never trust a pig." She turned the fan on low, and nothing happened.

"Uh Jade, you know she's got a house of stone right?"

"I know, but I want her out of my forest! If this doesn't work I can probably scare them away."

"_Your _forest? Do we need to have another talk with the Counsel-Owl again?"

"BACK OFF!" Beck backed away as Jade turned the fan up higher. Again, nothing happened, so the house didn't move. When she turned the fan up to the maximum setting, it still would not budge. In a huff, she turned the fan off and smashed it to pieces. Afterwards she barged into Tori's house and pointed the scissors at Tori's face. "You win this round, pig! But mark my words, I _will _be back, and I _will _get you- and your little pig friends too- out of my forest." She stomped off.

"She has some serious anger issues," Andre tried to break the tension, but the pigs only gave him strange looks. "Bad timing?"

Tori groaned. "She's never going to give up until I leave the forest."

"The only she'll stop is if we scare her out the forest," Andre stated.

Tori turned to Andre. "What if we can find a way to scare Jade out of this forest?"

Trina snorted in sarcasm. "Good luck with that. Nothing scares her." She sniffed. "Do you smell smoke?" The pigs spotted a small fire and panicked.

"I know somethin' that'll put out this fire," Andre went to the fire and sprayed. Miraculously, the fire stopped before it could spread, and an angry Jade could be heard outside. "Sorry about the stank," Andre apologized.

"GOD WHAT REEKS?" Jade covered her snout with a paw and left the area.

"She's gone," Beck informed with his paw over his snout. "But I'm sure she'll be back."

"Oh, I'm counting on that," Tori slyly smiled, as she formulated an idea. She went back inside her house. "Cat, I need you to look for Robbie Raccoon and ask him to come back with his sticks."

"KK!" Cat exited.

"Trina, you do the same, but find animal salesmen selling solid material stronger than straw."

"Do I have to do work?" Trina retorted back.

"Would you rather stay here with the smell?"

"Leaving," Trina left.

"What about me, do I get somethin' cool to do?" Andre asked with excitement.

"I need you to gather up every skunk you can find and bring them back here," Tori concluded. "I have a plan."

…

As expected, Jade returned to the stone house with explosives (where she got those and the giant fan was a complete mystery). As she prepared to throw them inside the house, she heard a flirty laugh from Tori…followed by a chuckle from Beck. Sneaking over toward them, she saw them flirting with each other. She got a piece of TNT and was about to light it with a match when something hit the back of her head. "OW!" She noticed a stick beside her that clearly wasn't there before.

"Wow, I actually got her!" Robbie complimented himself.

"And that's the closest you'll ever get to touchin' a female," Rex chuckled.

Jade put the TNT and match down and went over to Robbie and Rex. "Who threw that stick at me?"

"Run!" Rex and Robbie started to run away, but Jade chased them. This proved to be a mistake because when they fled into a meadow, a bunch of other forest animals (who had paws of course) were waiting for her with stones…which they then threw at her until causing her to back away. When she turned around to get away from them, she came across an enormous gathering of skunks.

Andre stood front and center leading the army of skunks. "READY! AIM! SQUIRT!" The skunks continuously sprayed Jade, even as she ran. This was their intention, because they had successfully run her out of the forest.

And then the celebration at Tori's house occurred. "I gotta say, that was pretty cool what you did," Beck complimented, "but you know she'll be back."

"Beck," Tori began, "an entire forest basically stood up to one bully. If she comes back, the animals here are willing to fight for their forest and make sure she doesn't take advantage of them anymore."

"She was still my girlfriend."

"That's why I had a back-up plan," Tori gestured to her new table (made of sticks) where a practically crumpled up piece of what was most likely human garbage sat in the center. "I figured if you really cared about her, you and her might feel more comfortable in Wolves Forest where Jade can terrorize her own species and maybe you guys could start your own pack."

"She really doesn't care for other animals. Thanks a lot, Tori; you're a good friend."

"Aw shucks, it was nothing."

Trina and Cat ran over to Tori. "Guess what Tori!" Cat started.

"What?"

"A little birdy told us that because of you getting rid of Jade, all the other animals who 'mysteriously vanished' are coming out of hiding and moving back into the forest," Trina concluded.

Andre made his way beside Tori. "And also thanks to you, I've got a pretty high demand for stones. Heck, I might even start selling bricks now."

"It wasn't just me," Tori modestly admitted. "It was all of us. All it takes is one creature to stand up to a bully and others would follow in example and we can all live happily ever after."

…

"_The end," Tori finished her story._

"_Comments?" Sikowitz asked._

"_Oh, I've got a few," Jade seemed slightly irked._

"_You will go last." Sikowitz noticed Rex's hand. "Ah, Rex."_

"_I like how you included me in your story," Rex nodded approval._

_Sinjin raised his hand. "Oh, me too!"_

"_Yeah, it was good; but why did you make us all animals?" Robbie inquired._

"_It's the three little pigs," Tori reminded. "I figured if I adjusted it to fit everyone into the story, everyone would be an animal."_

"_Yeah, but I kind of wished I was an animal," Lane lamented._

"_And since you made me a pig, are you implying that I'm fat?" Trina questioned._

"_No!" Tori defended. "If anything I made you one of the protagonists." Trina looked at her confused. "One of the good guys."_

"_Oh. Well, I should've got a better role."_

_Cat was giggling. "I was a pig and my name was Cat." She kept giggling. "That's funny."_

_Beck spoke next. "I think you had some nice puns in there."_

"_Yes, that was also my point," Sikowitz agreed. "Such as the web deal for the spiders, the little birdy telling thing, the Groundhogs referencing the Groundlings Comedy Acting Troupe that is responsible for most of the good Saturday Night Live members. And also you made us animals."_

"_That was made obvious, yes," Tori reminded._

"_Now me," Jade glared at Tori. "I hate how-"_

"_What about me?" Andre brought the attention to him._

"_Make it fast."_

"_I liked it."_

"_I didn't. I hated how you had very little conflict, you don't know much about animals and how they function, the wolf eats the pigs in a couple versions I know- you quite obviously left that out. The ending sucked, the story sucked, and if you're implying anything about you and Beck I swear I will cause you the bad kind of pain. I know where to find the things you mentioned in your story; which animals wouldn't even know how to use to begin with."_

_Tori groaned. "It was just a story! And it's one of my favorite stories thank you very much! And I think I even touched on a vital issue of bullying."_

"_I think you failed at that too."_

"_You think you can tell a better story than me?"_

_Jade snickered. "Oh I think I can…and I can keep us all human."_

"_Ooh," Cat smiled. "Tell us your story now Jade!"_

"_Whatever," Jade grabbed the flashlight from Tori. "My story does take place in times of kingdoms and junk, but I'm not starting with the once upon a time crap…"_

* * *

><p><strong>I have a feeling these stories will be long, but I'm sure they'd be worth it. And I have a pretty good feeling Jade's going to get back at Tori in her story.<strong>

**I'm sure you're wondering the reason I chose this story for Tori, I am too. The three little pigs is one of those stories that gets overlooked and I knew I wanted to use it, but I wasn't sure who to put it with. When I was going through the choosing process, I had it down between Tori and Lane. I also realized I had also miscounted the fairy tales I chosen and I went back to find another one and I thought of one more suited for Lane to tell given the actor's background (subtle hint, subtle hint). And I felt I needed one where they're animals, just to see what that experience would be like. Rest assured, they're all humans in the rest of the fairy tales.**

**Question, do you guys think I referenced **_**Charlotte's Web**_** a little bit or is my sister wrong about that? Feedback is nice please (and thank you).**


	3. Jade's Tale

**Half and half; some think there's a Charlotte's Web reference and others don't. Me, I can't either tell way that's why I asked.**

**I heart feedback! It's nice to know that people are actually reading and giving me ideas. In fact, this semi-original story is my second fastest reviewed story and I was so surprised to see reviews jump from 3 to 8 after the second chapter (hey, it's a lot to me). And to be nice, I'm going to treat you to a special surprise at the end of this chapter because I keep getting questions (not just online, I have friends and family who read this too) on what fairy tales would be used and which ones are the ones that…I shouldn't say overlooked per say, while researching some there were ones that I've never heard of, but the ones I plan on using don't get as much credit because a few of them haven't been touched by the Disney corporation.**

**I'll elaborate more on that later. For now Jade's fairy tale has elements of the original story mixed in with elements from the musical it became. Of course, things might be adjusted for character purposes, but I think I made it work.**

**And for the record, this is Jade's story and there will be Bade. So, all you Bade fans can celebrate. There's also another of pairing in this chapter, but it's mostly Bade.**

* * *

><p>"<em>You think you can tell a better story than me?" Tori questioned<em>

_Jade snickered. "Oh I think I can…and I can keep us all human."_

"_Ooh," Cat smiled. "Tell us your story now Jade!"_

"_Whatever," Jade grabbed the flashlight from Tori. "My story does take place in times of kingdoms and junk, but I'm not starting with the once upon a time crap…"_

**…**

In one of those typical fairy tale kingdoms lived a typical fairy tale prince- heroic, handsome, intelligent, good haired, all that good junk. The heroic, handsome, intelligent, good-haired prince- Prince Beck- was actually a prince-to-be. Beck was going to graduate Prince Academy top of his class and would then assume the throne of the kingdom of Artis in the Hollywood country once Queen Helen retired. Why? In the times before women's liberation and all that, a man had to be in charge and the queen's husband had died leaving them childless and without an heir. Besides, many of other great kings had graduated from Prince Academy because ruling kings and queens couldn't produce their own (male) heirs.

However, in to order assume the throne and become Prince of Artis, Beck had to marry an eligible princess from a different kingdom. That was the law of the kingdom. And to make things even more difficult, the princess had to audition for Queen Helen to even be considered and eventually meet Beck. But that wasn't even the whole process. If she liked any of the contenders, they would be invited to stay at the castle where the 'real test' was performed to make sure she was a princess. But the real test was a test that only the queen knew, and no one else knew.

But someone who desperately wanted to know the secret was Lady Victoria of the Noble Vega family, who went by the preferred name of Tori. You see, if a princess couldn't be found, the prince would then have to marry an aristocratic lady of noble birth…such as Tori. Of course, that lady had to be selected by Queen Helen. So (naturally) Tori played kiss-up and did everything to get on Queen Helen's good side. Becoming a sort of advisor, Tori also tried her best to convince Helen that none of those princesses were good enough for the future prince.

Another stupid law in the kingdom was that until the prince-to-be found a suitable princess, no one else could get married. No one else could be in a relationship either! This posed a small problem for Sir Robbie who was madly in love with Lady Cat. Both of them had to meet each other in secret whenever they wanted to be with each other. One day as they lay on the grassy knoll outside of the castle holding hands, Robbie suddenly jolted up with a plan. "I have a plan!"

"Those sure do come rare," his wooden puppet Rex, who was strangely sitting nearby, teased.

"Ignore him," he assured Cat as she looked at him inquisitively. "Queen Helen has interviewed and auditioned like every princess in the general region of this country right?"

"Uh-huh," Cat nodded.

"What if I went out and searched for a princess who doesn't live in the Hollywood Country? Perhaps I can find a princess in the deep, dark areas beyond the mountains and into the swamps."

Cat gasped. "Robbie, that's too risky!"

Robbie took her hands in his. "Cat, I can't keep waiting. I want to…no, I _have_ to marry you."

"Oh Robbie," she embraced him. "I want to marry you too. But why don't we make it easier and just leave this kingdom and go to another one."

"Because he's a mama's boy," Rex chuckled.

"Ruining the moment Rex!" Robbie called to his puppet.

"You ruin everything else."

Robbie ignored him. "I'm a knight here-"

"A really bad one."

"-I'm Sir Robbie the Immaculate, I can't just abandon my kingdom because of some girl."

Cat quickly became upset. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I love you!" He quickly defended. "I love you, I want to marry you, but I can't leave the only home both of us have ever known."

"That's true."

"It's also treason," Rex added. "I don't wanna have to lose my gorgeous head just because my puppet wants to move out of the kingdom."

Robbie looked at him confused. "Rex, you're my puppet."

"Or so you think," Rex chuckled.

…

Queen Helen entered the throne room slightly enraged. "Dang that assistant of mine!"

Tori stood beside the throne smiling. "Something wrong Your Highness?"

"My assistant had another one of her 'personal problems'."

"Oh?"

"So I had her cannonized," 'cannonizing' was the term Helen used to describe shooting someone out of a cannon from the tallest tower of the castle.

"Ah…good choice."

Helen chuckled. "Isn't it? Do I have news?"

"None since yesterday. But Headmaster Lane at the Prince Academy says Beck has to assume the throne in the next three days with or without a princess."

"Yes, I know." Helen began to think. "No prince in the history of my kingdom has ever assumed the throne without a princess bride; and I've auditioned and interviewed dozens of princesses."

"Speaking of that," Tori kneeled down to Helen's level, "I was just wondering that because we didn't find a princess, would a girl of noble birth was going to marry the handsome prince-to-be?"

"I would suppose so."

"But which one?"

"I guess I'll have to hold more auditions."

"But all of those have given you stress, and that's the last thing you need."

"Tori, aren't you a member of the noble Vega family."

Tori pretended to gasp with surprise. "Why yes I am."

"What happened to your older annoying sister?"

"It doesn't matter. But I'm available to wed Beck if worst comes to worst."

"There's also Lady Cat of the noble Valentine family, but I think she's quite taken with that spazzy boy with that insulting puppet. What's that boy's name Roger?"

"Robbie."

"Who cares? Well, I'll have the royal scribe take this down." Helen rang a bell. "SCRIBE!" Sinjin the court jester ran into the throne room. "What happened to my usual scribe?"

"You had him cannonized last week," Sinjin reminded.

Helen shrugged this off. "Take note of this." Helen cleared her throat as Sinjin prepared to write. "If a suitable princess hasn't been found for the prince-to-be, i.e. Beck, then Beck shall marry-"

Robbie rushed into the throne room. As he reached Helen's throne, he bowed. "My queen, I come to you to ask permission to go on a quest to find the prince-to-be a suitable princess."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Tori answered before Helen could speak. "And we've scoured the kingdoms in the country of Hollywood and-"

"That's why I wish to journey beyond Hollywood and into the deep, dark, swampy areas. I promise I'll bring a princess back within three days!"

"Alright," Helen allowed this. "Scribe, take note." Sinjin tossed away the other parchment he was writing on. "If Sir Ronnie-"

"Robbie."

"Whatever, if this knight doesn't return to my castle in three days' time with a princess, I'll have him imprisoned in the dungeon for an entire fortnight." Sinjin looked at her confused. "Two weeks." Sinjin nodded and wrote this down. The queen then turned to Robbie and shooed him off. "You have my permission, now go." Robbie ran out of the throne room.

"Do you really think this is a good idea Your Highness?" Tori inquired.

"If he comes back with a princess, fine. If he doesn't, he'll go to the dungeon. Maybe there's a chance he won't come back at all and I could quite frankly care less about him. Now, we must start preparing the castle for when Beck moves in tomorrow. Oh, and maybe you should set up a guest room in case he does come back with a princess. Tori dear, could you run off and fetch me my usual beauty regiment that only you know."

"Yes ma'am," Tori curtseyed and left the throne room. Once out, she immediately stomped off in anger.

"Hi, Tori," Andre greeted.

"GET LOST!"

"Dang girl," Andre continued off pas the throne room and into the library. Heading over to the largest bookshelf, he pulled a book and a wall opened up. Walking through the secret passage, Andre entered a potion room where Sikowitz the Wizard, who earned the nickname Sikowizard, was working on yet another potion. "You asked for me?" Sikowizard nodded and started to use gestures to explain what he wanted to say. Why you ask? Because after (yet another) a spell mishap a few years back, he lost the ability to talk and enlisted Andre's aid in communicating. "What did you see in that crystal ball?" Sikowizard waved his hands around a crystal ball. The entire scene in the throne room replayed before their eyes. "Sir Robbie the Immaculate is going off on a perilous quest to find a princess in the deep, dark, swamp area?" Sikowizard nodded. "Oh, he's gonna die." More gestures. "No, he hasn't left yet. He was s'posed to, but Lady Cat asked him for help." Sikowizard handed him a vial. "What's this potion gonna do?" Sikowizard used gestures (as if playing charades) to explain. "Oh so if I give this to his horse, his horse will automatically know where to find a real princess, and gallop to her at an incredibly fast pace and they'll return by tomorrow?" Sikowizard nodded. "Well, alright. I'll go give it to his horse."

Andre snuck off to the stables with the vial and quietly crept over to Robbie's horse. As he gave the horse the liquid, Robbie unexpectedly appeared from behind the wall as if he had been there the whole time. "Andre?"

Andre screamed like a girl and almost dropped the vial. "Oh, hey Robbie."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm uh…I'm making sure your horse gets water."

"That liquid's purple."

"It's a fancy new water."

Robbie shrugged. "Okay. Well can you hurry up; I'm off on a perilous quest to find a princess in the deep, dark swamp areas."

"Cool, yeah, I'm done." Andre was about to leave when he noticed lipstick on Robbie's lips. "Robbie, are you wearing pink lipstick."

"Uh…" If anyone learned Robbie and Cat were in a relationship, they'd be certain to be imprisoned in separate dungeons. "…it's mine."

"I don't wanna know," Andre went off as Robbie breathed a sigh of relief and headed off on his quest.

…

Beck's arrival was one of the grandest events in the kingdom as the prince-to-be moved into his new home. "Welcome, to your new home Beck." Queen Helen greeted.

"Yeah, sure." Beck headed into the castle with the queen following. "I don't mean to sound like a jerk and all, but am I going to become the ruler with a princess or not?"

"As a matter of fact," Queen Helen whistled and Tori ran to her side, "you will be marrying-"

"Sir Robbie has returned!" Sinjin proclaimed as he noticed a fast approaching horse coming toward the castle, "and he's got a hot girl with him!"

"Dang that was fast. LOWER THE DRAWBRIDGE!" The drawbridge lowered and Helen, Tori, and Beck went over to the drawbridge where for some reason, Cat, Andre, and Sikowizard were also waiting.

Robbie got off of his horse and helped the girl off of his horse. "Your Majesty," he bowed, "may I present to you Princess Jade."

"Princess huh?"

"Yeah," Jade snarked back, "Princess."

"How do we know you're a real princess?" Tori questioned.

"Excuse me but are you the queen? Do I have to answer to you? I can assure you I'm a princess."

"I bet you are," Helen commentated, "but unfortunately you're not princess material for our eligible prince-to-be here so why don't you fly on your broomstick back to your kingdom?"

"Broomstick?"

"You're obviously a witch," Tori glared at her.

"Am not!"

"How else could Robbie have returned so quickly when his horse is the slowest horse in the kingdom?"

"That is a little odd," Helen agreed. "I'm sorry, Jade but-"

"Give her the princess test," Beck interrupted.

"Princess test?" Jade asked.

"Every single queen when choosing a princess has to be familiar with the princess test," Helen explained. "Wherein I, a queen, test you, a 'princess', on whether or not you are a true, blue for really real official princess."

"Okay."

"But Your Majesty," Tori tried to protest, "you just proclaimed that you want this gank to leave."

"Gank?"

"But as the future ruler, you have to obey my rules," Beck reminded. "Might as well start now." Beck smiled at Jade, who in turn smiled back at him.

"Well, alright," Helen obliged. "Beck's coronation is in two days, but if he is to rule with a princess bride, he must become a prince groom by tomorrow?"

"Huh?" No one understood what she meant.

"If the prince-to-be wants to assume the throne with a princess bride in two days, he's gotta get married tomorrow."

"That means you'd have to give her the princess test tonight," Andre stated for clarification.

"A-yup!" Helen went back inside the castle.

Jade seemed confused. "What the heck is the princess test?"

"No one knows," Beck answered, "but I'm sure you'd pass it."

Jade shrugged. "Be easy if I knew what it was."

"You hungry?"

"Sure."

"Why don't we get some lunch together?"

"Um, Beck," Tori brought attention back to herself, "we were supposed to have lunch together."

"Maybe you could join us?"

"I'd rather she didn't," Jade commentated. "I'm sure she'd much rather enjoy having lunch with the queen anyway."

"I did have it reserved for two anyway. Well, maybe we'll do something later." Beck extended his arm to Jade. "Shall we Princess?" Jade took his arm and the two of them went back inside the castle while a furious Tori stormed off.

Andre pulled Sikowizard aside as Beck and Jade struck up a conversation. "Sikowizard, have you ever tried to use that crystal ball to discover what the test is?" Sikowizard did some gestures. "Your crystal ball doesn't get any reception in the upstairs part in the castle? Aw mustard!" More gestures from Sikowizard. "So you want me and someone I trust to snoop around to try and determine what the test is?" Sikowizard nodded. "And what are you gonna do?" Sikowizard gestured. "Making a potion to cure your silence does seem like a good idea. I'll ask Robbie for his help." Andre turned around to find Robbie (and Cat) gone. "Did you see where he went?"

…

As an angry Tori sat in the garden trampling on flowers, the sounds of girly giggling seemed to be coming closer. Quickly hiding, she watched as Cat and Robbie came into the garden. "It's nice to be together without Rex," Cat smiled.

"Yeah," Robbie agreed. "Sometimes I wonder why I even hang out with him; he can be a real jerk."

"He's mean, but makes me laugh though."

"You know what else is like that," Robbie raised his eyebrows.

"Oh no!"

"That's right…the tickle monster!" Robbie started to tickle her.

"Stop it!" she kept laughing. He tickled her so much that she fell onto the grass laughing, and he then joined her on the grass. "Robbie, save me from the tickle monster."

"Okay," Robbie stopped tickling her and laid on the ground beside her. "There he's gone."

"My hero!" Cat moved closer to him. "I love you."

"I love you too." The two proceeded to kiss as Tori quietly crept back into the castle.

"ROBBIE!" Andre was calling for him. "ROBBIE!"

Robbie pulled away. "I gotta go!"

"No, don't!" Cat tried to get him to stay.

"It might be important. Listen, why don't you meet me in the library after sunset okay?"

"Okay." He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and went to look for Andre.

Cat sighed, but quickly got over her upset and started skipping back off to the castle.

…

"You know," Beck was enjoying Jade's company, "you're different than any other princess or noble chick I've met."

"That good or bad?"

"It's good…real good." There was some brief silence. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Have you fallen in love with me?"

"I think I have. You know, I think I wanna marry you."

"You think? What if the test says I'm not a real princess- even though I clearly am?"

"I dunno, I guess I'd have to marry a noble chick. I might get to make rules, but one thing a prince or prince-to-be never does is choose is own bride. That's always been chosen by a queen."

"Why doesn't that queen like me? Is it the impression I give? Sure I look like a mess and I don't wear fancy dresses; but I live in a deep, dark swampy area. It's hard to get a lot of material for stuff and my clothes are sewn in the dark. Our bathing water, is swamp water! The sooner I get out of Swamp Country the better. How did she even become queen anyway?"

"She passed the test the queen before her gave. Helen then married the prince, and after both of his parents died he became King, but then he died without him and Helen having any kids. And a Queen can only rule solo for five years before a guy who graduated highest in the Prince Academy can become the next future ruler."

"Your kingdom crap's complicated."

"You can say that again."

"Why don't you just refuse to be prince?"

"The next in line after me is the second highest graduate in the academy, and he was a total jerk."

"Ah."

"So you didn't officially answer my question about love at first sight. Do _you _believe in it?"

"I like you too."

"Like?"

"I never love anything; when you grow up in a deep, dark swamp area you never love anything. You either like it, tolerate it, or hate it. So consider that a win."

"How does your kingdom work? Can you rule it?"

"Only if I'm married."

"To a prince."

"No. I can be married to that creepy jester guy and still rule. Of course he'd rule with me, and I'd never marry that creepy jester guy."

"Tell you what; if you for some reason don't pass the test, I'll come back to your country with you and marry you."

Jade smiled at him. "I'd like that."

"LET ME GO!" Beck and Jade put down their eating utensils and went to see what the commotion was. Two guards captured Cat, who was struggling to break free as Queen Helen, Sinjin, and Tori, were standing there.

"I'm sorry darling," Helen declined, "but you know the law. No one can be in a relationship unless the monarch is in a relationship."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Cat tried to lie.

"There's no use lying," Helen pointed to Tori, "Tori here saw you and that spazzy boy kissing with her own two eyes."

Cat gave them a strange look. "How do you kiss someone else's eyes?"

Helen sighed. "Tori saw you lockin' lips with Rollo."

"Robbie," Tori corrected.

Cat was shocked. "I…I…"

"Is this true or not?" Queen Helen asked. "If you lie, you get cannonized."

Cat solemnly sighed. "It's true."

"I have no other choice. SCRIBE…oh you're right there. Take note; Cat and her spazzy knight Romeo-"

"Robbie."

"-are to be locked away in separate prisons for the rest of their lives."

"What about until Beck marries?" Sinjin suggested.

"The law says for life," Tori reminded. "So Cat and Robbie are locked up for life."

"She is right," Helen reminded. "Lock her up, and lock up Robbie when you find him too."

Jade watched this sight horrified. "How can they do that to someone like her?"

"It is the law," Beck informed.

"No, that's just cruel. That Tori is a gank for letting this happen!"

"I can fix this. Either way, I'm going to rule the kingdom, so after my coronation, I'll have Cat and Robbie pardoned and everyone can be in relationships."

"Good."

…

Andre and Robbie, meanwhile, spent the day trying to figure out how the test worked, but to no avail. When the sun set, Robbie took off. "Where are you going?" Andre questioned.

"I…uh…I need to get to the library and…study."

"But Robbie!" Andre followed him into the library. "Robbie, we need to help figure out the test so Jade can pass it."

"I know, but-" The bookcase turned and Sikowizard stepped out of the wall. "Did he just come out of a wall?"

Sikowizard spoke in his nonverbal language as Andre translated. "What do you mean Robbie's in trouble?"

"I'm in what?"

Sikowizard continued. "Tori found out about him and Cat's secret relationship and told the queen?"

"What?"

"Cat's been captured and is in the female dungeon for all eternity."

"No!"

"And they're looking for Robbie to lock him up too."

"Aw butternut!"

Bells rang throughout the castle. "And apparently it's time to get ready for bed." Andre sighed. "Well, we failed."

"And what's worse is if Jade doesn't pass then Beck will marry Tori." Sikowizard did another gesture. "What does that mean?"

"We are screwed."

Sikowizard did more gestures. "What's he doing?"

"He says he's got a plan to at least stop Tori from marrying Beck...we just need to stay up all night and work on a potion."

"All night? Hold on, isn't wizarding illegal?"

"You don't know anythin' about this."

…

"This way, my dear," Helen led Jade into a guest room.

"Whoa!" The first thing Jade noticed was mattresses stacked one on top of the other.

"Every guest gets the royal treatment. Twenty of the most comfortable mattresses for your sleeping pleasure."

"Cool, but I have to sleep up there." Helen nodded. "How do I get up there?"

"SCRIBE!" Sinjin entered the room with a ladder. "I trust you'll get a good night's rest and we'll go over the test in the morning."

"But-" Helen shut the door as she left. Jade noticed Sinjin. "What are you still doing here?"

"I want to watch you sleep," he honestly answered.

"Get out of here!" Sinjin ran out of the room. "Well, I never have slept on a good mattress before," she climbed the ladder to the top mattress to prepare herself for a good night's sleep.

…

The breakfast table was patiently awaiting Jade to arrive the next morning. Tori made a 'tsk' noise. "It's not good princess material if she's late."

"She'll be down soon," Beck assured. The doors slammed open. "There she is."

"Speak of the devil."

A disheveled, angry looking Jade made her way over to the giant table. Queen Helen smiled. "Good morning dear." Jade sat down at the table. "How did you sleep?"

"Peachy keen," Jade sarcastically answered.

"Did you now?"

Jade slumped into her seat and dropped her head onto the table. An anxious Beck went over to her to make sure she was okay. "Jade?"

"WHAT?"

"Dang girl," Beck backed away.

"What's the matter, princess?" Tori sarcastically emphasized the term 'princess'.

Jade furiously stormed over to her. "What did you do?"

"Excuse you?"

"This gank probably did something to those mattresses."

"What?"

"I didn't get any sleep. It was the most uncomfortable experience ever! It felt like I was sleeping on a bowling ball or two, OR TWENTY! My back is killing me, and I'm sure Tori here had something to do with it!"

Helen smiled. "Oh no she didn't."

"What?"

She applauded. "Congratulations."

"Huh?"

"You passed the test."

"What?" Everyone seemed to be in disbelief.

"Follow me and I'll show you what was under your mattress." They obeyed the queen as she went to Jade's room. She searched under the mattress. "Ah-ha, there it is!" She held up a pea.

"A pea?"

"Hmm-hmm. A true princess is delicate enough to feel a tiny pea through twenty mattresses. Jade here, is a real princess."

"WELL NO DUH!" Jade yelled back.

"NO!" Tori refused to believe this. "She's a witch! And witches here are executed."

"I am not! And you shouldn't assume I'm a witch just become I come from a land of mostly witches. I say you're a witch."

"Prove it!"

"Oh I think I can," Sikowizard appeared from behind the wall. "For you see, since Tori came to the castle, I lost the ability to speak. I only discovered her magical spell room where I was able to get my voice back."

"What?"

Andre approached the queen. "And here's a note thing too."

Helen read the note. "Ways to bewitch the prince-to-be into falling in love with me and hypnotizing tricks to get dumb rulers to do what you say."

"I did not write that?"

"It is your handwriting."

"But I-"

"The evidence is pretty clear," Beck agreed. "Helen, can I start doing some ruling stuff?"

"Please do," Helen assured. "SCRIBE!"

Sinjin ran in. "Sinjin take note; Tori Vega shall hence forth spend the rest of her life in the deep, dark swamp kingdom in exile. And Cat Valentine and Sir Robbie the Immaculate shall no longer be imprisoned for their romance. In fact, everyone can now pursue relationships!"

"Awesome!" Sinjin moved closer to Jade.

"Back away!" Jade instructed.

And so on that day Prince-to-be Beck and Princess Jade were married and then they became the rulers of the kingdom and everyone who deserved to lived happily ever after."

**…**

"_So?"_

"_What fairy tale was that?" Tori questioned._

"_The _Princess and the Pea_, with a mixture of _Once Upon a Mattress_ which was a musical version of the same fairy tale, but more entertaining."_

_Sinjin raised his hand. "I think Princess Jade should've married the scribe slash court jester."_

"_I like how you also included me in your fairy tale," Rex was grateful for this, "and you made Robbie my puppet."_

"_Why was I Sikowitz's translator?" Andre inquired._

"_I like you, and I wanted to give you a decent role," Jade told him._

"_Why didn't you give me a role?" Lane asked._

"_I don't like you."_

"_Is it because I keep asking you if I can help counsel you?"_

"_I like having anger issues."_

"_Why did you put me in the dungeon?" Cat innocently questioned._

"_Yeah, and why were Cat and Robbie a couple?" Beck asked._

"_Yeah, why were we a couple?" Robbie repeated. "I mean, I don't have anything against that but why."_

"_Okay," Jade began. "The princess had no real friend in that story, but I gave a role to Cat based on the musical and I made Robbie her loser boyfriend because the guy I hate from _Glee_ was her boyfriend in the movie adaptation. I hate that guy, and I hate Robbie."_

"_KK!" Cat got over it._

"_Good to know," Robbie added._

"_Hi, yeah," Trina began, "I couldn't help but realize I was noticeably absent from your story."_

"_I don't like you," Jade replied._

"_You don't like Principal Helen and you gave her a big female role."_

"_I like her better than you."_

_Sikowitz was chuckling. "Sikowizard, what a fun name." He stopped chuckling and looked at Jade. "Who was Sikowizard based on?"_

"_You."_

"_Good Gandhi!"_

"_My turn," Tori began. "You made me so out of character!"_

"_How? You snitch on people."_

"_Do not!" Tori looked at Lane. "Lane, did you hear what she said?"_

"_In addition," Jade continued, "Tori tries to be the best at everything and always takes what I want and deserve. But not in my story." Jade looked at Beck. "Beck, what did you think?"_

_Beck rubbed the back of his neck. "Well…"_

"_Did you like it or not?" Jade seemed ticked._

"_I liked it, but Tori did seem out of character a little bit."_

"_Thank you!" Tori thanked._

"_Oh! Then why don't you date her then!"_

_Beck sighed. "Only slightly though. Tori does snitch. All in all, it was good." He kissed her._

"_Thank you."_

"_OKAY!" Sikowitz clapped. "Who's next?"_

"_I'd like to go," Trina took the flashlight. "I think it's best that a story starring me come next. My story is about a girl in a red riding hood or whatever-"_

"_AW!" Cat whined, "that was gonna be my story."_

"_Mine too," Sinjin lamented._

"_Do I care?" Trina moved on. "Anywho, there once was a girl who wore a red riding hood…"_

* * *

><p><strong>There, it's a longer Jade story. I hope it was good.<strong>

**Now as promised- in no particular order- the stories I plan to use.**

_**Little Red Riding Hood**_

_**Twelve Dancing Princesses**_

_**Frog Prince (Yeah, it was a Disney movie, but mine will center on a guy, not a girl)**_

_**Thumbelina**_

_**Rumplestiltskin**_

_**Jack and the Beanstalk**_

_**Rip van Winkle**_

_**The Steadfast Tin Soldier**_

_**Puss in Boots**_

**And there you go. It's not in accurate order, and I'm not saying who is who. MWAH-HA-HA!**

**Btw, Mr. and Mrs. Vega weren't in the last story and they won't be in any other stories. I wanted to try and avoid the parents and just focus on the people at Hollywood Arts (that's why Helen's in here).**


	4. Trina's Turn

**Ah, what a short break it's been from this fanfic. I've been spending too much time on fanfics that I neglected other stuff I needed to do and is now done (hallelujah).**

**I should say that this isn't going to be a favorite (and it will be short). One reason is I'm not a fan of the character Trina and it's hard to make everyone else look bad but her. However, I owe you readers this (thanks for the fast reviews I feel liked) and I might as well get her out of the way. It's also a different structure. While all the others are set in fairy tale settings, Trina's takes place in modern times. Why? Because she never listens to people and does things different…**

…**and I had more ideas modern style than fairy tale setting.**

**Please don't be mad. But I can understand if you don't like this chapter. It is Trina's chapter after all. Oh, and Andre and Beck's names will be screwed up in this story? Why? Trina never gets Andre's name right, and I figured she'd do the same for Beck.**

**Props to Daniella for her acting abilities, she's a good actress if she can play a character like Trina.**

**Moving on…**

* * *

><p>"<em>I'd like to go," Trina took the flashlight. "I think it's best that a story starring me come next. My story is about a girl in a red riding hood or whatever-"<em>

"_AW!" Cat whined, "that was gonna be my story."_

"_Mine too," Sinjin lamented._

"_Do I care?" Trina moved on. "Anywho, there once was a girl who wore a red riding hood…"_

**…**

Trina Vega was the most popular, talented, gorgeous girl in Los Angeles who always got what she wanted and was the favorite child. She was also a sweet girl, and very strong. Everyone liked Trina. Trina was also a trendsetter. She could take the most hideous piece of clothing and turn it into a fashion must-have. And she did that with a crappy red hoodie.

However, there were some people who didn't like Trina. One person in particular was Jade West, the leader of a gang called the Wolves. Jade was a bad person. In addition to being mean, she was violent, and would often rob people. One reason Jade hated Trina was Jade's boyfriend- was it Brett…who cares, he'll be called Brett- had a huge crush on Trina. So did Trina's sister Tori's friend Andrew. Then that freak Robbie with the puppet also had a giant crush on her, but she didn't like any of them so they're not important. Besides, every guy Trina met had a crush on her.

Trina decided to spend another day devoted to herself when her parents left for Santa Barbara (without her). However, Mr. and Mrs. Vega told Trina to stay home and help take care of her sick sister Tori. So Trina called her semi-friend Cat to baby-sit Tori.

"Hi!" Cat greeted in her cheerful way when Trina answered the door. "Ooh, I like your red hoodie."

"I know," Trina replied back. "Listen, you're gonna babysit Tori today."

"KK!"

"I'm going to spend the day at the mall, then the salon slash spa, and then that new club, and you'll be here. Oh, and she's sick so…yeah."

"Sounds like you're gonna have an adventure! I love adventure! One time my brother and I were going on an adventure and-"

"Yeah, don't care," Trina left her house and went to her car.

A sick Tori came down the stairs. "Trina leave?"

"Uh-huh!" Cat bounced over to the kitchen. "Want me to make you some cupcakes?"

"Sure."

…

Meanwhile, Jade had noticed Trina out and about and called on her ganky friends- and Sinjin- to meet her at the Black Box Hangout.

"As you know, I hate Trina Vega," Jade point blankly stated. "Everyone here should hate her as well. I saw her out today, and I thought it would be a good idea for us to rob her house and steal her valuables so we can sell them on the internet, or give them to greedy orphans."

"Isn't giving things to orphans a good thing?" Jade's boyfriend inquired.

"I know some fake charities that say they go to greedy orphans, but they obviously do not. And because Sinjin is desperately trying to fit in, this is his one chance to not fail."

"I never have felt accomplishment," Sinjin agreed.

"Good for you, loser. As part of his initiation into our gang, Sinjin is going to come with me and rob the Vega house."

Jade's boyfriend gave her a strange look. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"BUTT OUT!" Brett backed away. "Okay Sinjin, let's get this over with. If you don't fail, we'll make you a semi-member."

Sinjin smiled. "I'll finally be a part of something! I feel special."

"You're not, now shut up."

…

Trina was out getting her feet bleached when her cell phone rang. "What Cat?"

"Trina, it's Cat," Cat began.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Your parents called; they have to come home early."

"WHAT?"

"Isn't that funny?"

"Where did you tell them I was?"

"Out."

"WHAT?"

"Then Tori, not wanting you to get in trouble, said you were out getting her some soup."

"Great, now I have to come home with soup!"

"Ooh, a car pulled up in front of your house!"

"Dang it!" Trina hung up her phone and ran out of the salon/spa and headed to the store.

…

Cat opened the front door thinking Tori's parents were home. Instead, Robbie was at the front door holding flowers. "Oh hi, Cat," Robbie waved. "Is Trina home?"

"Nope. Ooh, pretty flowers."

"They're for Trina. I figured, she's perfect and all that and she deserves nice flowers. Can you give them to her from me?"

"Why don't you wait here for here?"

"Yeah, sure. I mean, she's so pretty that I have to see her in person."

"KK! Hey, Tori and I were about to play tennis on the Wii; wanna face winner?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Yay!" Cat ran to the stairs. "Tori, I'm ready to play tennis!"

Tori came to the center of the stairs in a bathrobe. "Cat, I told you I was going to take a hot bath for the next half-hour to forty-five minutes."

"Phooey!"

"Why is Robbie here?"

"He has flowers for Trina."

"Again? Why doesn't anyone ever send me nice things?" Cat shrugged. "Well, play with Robbie. I'll be down in about an hour."

"KK!" Cat bounced over to Robbie. "Looks like we can play Wii," Cat giggled.

"Cool," Robbie took one remote as Cat started the game.

About five minutes into the game, a pair of 'Wolves' (well, technically one Wolf and a wannabe Wolf) snuck into the Vega house. "Hi Jade! Hi Sinjin!" Cat waved to them.

"Jade," Sinjin looked worried, "people are here. What do I do?"

"Shove them in a closet or something and block the exit!" Jade commanded.

"Okay sure," Sinjin took Cat's arm. "Cat, would you like to come to the closet so I can lock you in?"

"Um…no."

Jade groaned, and managed to shove both Cat and Robbie into the closet as Sinjin handed her a chair to block the door with. "Good to know you're not totally useless! Steal some stuff down here and be a lookout and you're in."

"Yes!" Sinjin did some cheesy victory dance. "I feel wanted!"

"You're not!" Jade went upstairs with a 'robbing sack' as Sinjin started stealing stuff. "A wig?" He noticed a brown wig on a shelf in the living room. Not questioning where it came from or anything (or if it was Trina's or not), Sinjin put on the wig and went back to stealing.

There was a loud honk outside the house. "I GOT A HORN TOO!" Trina had yelled at another driver. Panicking, Sinjin noticed a blanket on the couch that Tori covered herself in. He threw himself onto the couch and covered his face with the blanket as Trina stormed in. "People need to learn how to drive!" She threw a can of soup onto the counter. "I got the soup, and I got some cookies."

"I want a cookie!"

Trina expressed a confused look as Sinjin realized what he did. "Your cold sounds worse, Tori."

Sinjin pretended to cough and then he spoke in his generic girl voice. "I'm feeling better so that I can talk to you."

"Tori, you sound worse." She noticed the wig and assumed it was Tori's hair. "Your hair looks bad too."

"I guess I better brush it then so it can look like yours."

"And you're wearing your glasses?"

"Um…the better to see you with."

"I know, I am gorgeous." There were pounding noises coming from the closet. "Did you hear that?"

"No." More pounding.

"Why is the closet blocked?" She moved the chair, opened the closet, and Cat and Robbie fell out. "Do I want to know what you two were doing in there?"

"Jade locked us in there!" Robbie informed.

"Yeah, and Sinjin's here too," Cat added.

Trina looked over to see Sinjin try to escape. "Hold on," she went over to Sinjin and fought him with her amazing martial arts skills, knocking him onto the ground slightly unconscious.

"What the heck is going on?" Jade was downstairs.

"Why do you have a robbing sack?"

"Do you really need an answer to that? Sinjin, if you're conscious, you failed." Sinjin moaned in upset. "Seeing as though you messed things up again, Trina, I'll give you back your stuff."

"That easily?"

Jade pulled out scissors and cut up pieces in Trina's prized red hoodie. "Keep the nerd."

Thinking she had succeeding in ticking Trina off, Trina threw the hoodie to Cat. "I was getting annoyed with this thing anyway; it's trendiness was wearing off."

"Yay, a present!"

Robbie raised his hand. "Can I have something from you Trina?"

Trina groaned and went to the counter. "Have a cookie." She handed a cookie to Robbie, then Cat. Trina then gave herself the biggest cookie because after all she was the best of the best…

**…**

"…_and Trina lived happily ever after."_

"_Wow, that sucked," Jade commentated._

"_My name is Beck," Beck corrected. "B-E-C-K, Beck."_

"_Yeah, and mine is Andre," Andre reminded. "It's like Andrea, but without the 'A'."_

_"Or your name is like Andrew without the 'W'."_

_"Aw, instead of usin' a masculine name I go all feminine with Andrea?"_

_Rex chuckled. "Ha-ha, Andrea. Yo Trina, why wasn't I in that story?"_

"_Trina, I only liked you that one time," Robbie informed her. "I would never send you flowers."_

"_Nobody likes you," Jade added._

"_Were you supposed to be a princess?" Cat asked._

"_Supposed to be?" Trina scoffed. "I am a princess."_

"_I like that you gave me a prominent role," Sinjin told her._

"_Yeah, you're okay because you get your feet bleached by Foon-Yi."_

"_You didn't set your fairy tale in the appropriate setting," Lane reminded. "And why are you guys not featuring me as much? Am I not important?"_

"_It wasn't a rule! And no, you're not important."_

"_Now it is," Sikowitz stated. "Fairy tales must be set in times of fairy tales because modern times makes the story suck as horrible as Trina's."_

"_HEY!"_

"_And Trina," Tori began, "people send me nice things a lot. I can't believe you made me a whiner type and say I needed to be baby-sat!"_

"_Boo-hoo. I liked my story."_

"_No one else did," Jade told her. "The only thing right is I hate you."_

"_And the red riding hood was a cape," Tori reminded, "not a hoodie."_

"_Who wears capes anymore?" Trina asked._

"_Sinjin," Sikowitz turned to Sinjin, "you are probably a bad storyteller; let's get the worst ones out of the way."_

"_Should I be insulted?" Sinjin inquired. _

"_Yes."_

"_Well, I'm not the best, but I think I can do better than Trina."_

"_HEY!" Trina protested._

"_And I do wanna use one story before other people take it."_

"_What story are you gonna use Sinjin?" Andre asked._

"_That one with the creeper with the weird name."_

"_That suits you well," Jade insulted him._

_Sinjin didn't seem to notice that Jade was insulting him. "Thank you. Anyway, once upon a time in a land far, far from here…"_

* * *

><p><strong>Ways this was like <strong>_**Little Red Riding Hood**_**: The red hoodie is the red riding hood, the sick relative, bringing something to a sick relative, a wolf sneaking into the house to steal something, a male wolf (in this case wannabe wolf) posing as the sick relative, being locked in a closet, "the better to see you with", baked goods via cookies, yada, yada. So things were referenced, just not as well.**

**Thank the Lord Trina's story is out of the way. She's not one of my favorite characters, and I wanted to get her out of the way. I hope this was sufficient.**

**Next up is Sinjin's…I wonder what's cooking in his imagination?**


	5. Sinjin Spins a Tale

**Yeah, yeah I know. I took another break to prepare for upcoming things and get a much needed haircut (I posted a pic of me and my hideousness on my Twitter & tumblr for my friend who wanted to see it, I hate pictures of me though). Plus I've been feeling a bit like crap lately and I've just lost the wanting to get things done…that and I had to walk in the rain a few times to pick up my little sis.**

**And then came a bombshell…a sad one. Seriously, I'm still reeling from it and I'm still in shock and disbelief. I felt like just lying in bed and crying, but for some reason I can't cry and my family won't let me stay in bed.**

**Let's get things started on a more upbeat, Sinjin note.**

* * *

><p>"<em>What story are you gonna use Sinjin?" Andre asked.<em>

"_That one with the creeper with the weird name," Sinjin replied back._

"_That suits you well," Jade insulted him._

_Sinjin didn't seem to notice that Jade was insulting him. "Thank you. Anyway, once upon a time in a land far, far from here…"_

**…**

…seriously, this place was really far away- there's a need to get that out in the open so we're all clear how far away this place was.

Anyway there was a small, fledgling, kingdom with a greedy, but good king. Living in a mill on the edge of the kingdom was the Miller Lane and his semi-adopted orphaned teenagers. There were the boys Andre and Robbie, and then there was the most beautiful girl ever. Her name was Jade.

Lane was a decent miller, but he just couldn't make money in the stupid economy they had. Most nights they all went hungry or had stale food. The boys would whine and complain most about that until Jade hit them. She was so independent and in control that she should've been the one making money, but women couldn't work back then. So Andre and Robbie tried to sell things in the market…but they failed at it.

Then come one of the biggest opportunities to date- in that kingdom anyway. Baroness Helen was coming to pay a visit to the king and was making her way through the kingdom. This was the perfect opportunity for peddlers to peddle their junk. Peddlers like Andre and Robbie.

"Your ladyship buddy," another peddler, Festus, bowed. "I have for you fine fabrics and greasy food for you and your buddies."

"No thank you," Helen declined.

Robbie and Andre ran in front of her. "Greetings Baroness," Robbie bowed.

"Can we interest you in our stuff?" Andre inquired.

"No, now get out of my way!" Helen was getting ticked.

"Lady buddy," Festus whistled and a gorgeous girl approached. "Lady buddy Christine I am willing to sell to you for maid work. Christine cooks, clean, sings and dances, and can spin straw to silk fabric."

"I've got enough maids and silk."

"No you don't!" Andre wouldn't give up either. "We have a girl better than Christine who does all that stuff too."

"And she can spin straw into…gold!" Robbie quickly covered his mouth when he heard gasps around them.

Helen scoffed. "I've got enough of that too. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna collect my debt from King Sikowitz," Helen continued toward the castle.

Andre slapped Robbie. "Dude, why did you say that?"

"I panicked!" Robbie admitted. "But I don't think anyone believes this and it'll be discarded as gossip before it reaches the king."

…

So later that day the miller and the orphans were eating stale bread for dinner when castle guards came bursting in demanding the beautiful Jade.

"The heck did I do?" Jade questioned.

"The king has heard from gossiping wench Lady Trina about your special gift," one of them started.

"He wants you to come and perform your magic," the other concluded.

"I don't know if you've heard, but Robbie does the crappy magic," Jade corrected unaware of what their intentions were.

"Hey!" Robbie protested.

The guards noticed the gold necklace around her neck. "Oh she can totally do that," the first guard began.

"The king would be impressed," the second guard finished.

"With what?" Lane asked.

"Look, we don't have all day we're on a job," the first guard informed.

"We're just here to take the girl to the castle," the second guard explained.

"Why do you have to take the girl to the castle?" Lane asked.

"Stop asking questions!" The guards commanded in unison.

"If I go to the castle I'll see what they want and maybe snatch some food," Jade turned to the guards. "Alright you jerks, lead me to the castle."

…

In the castle's throne room, King Sikowitz was pretty upset. He was in a debt to at least six kingdoms and once he paid off his debts (if he paid off his debts) he would give the throne up to the Countess' son, Beck. Why? Because Sikowitz once you hit thirty-five you had to stop ruling and Beck was next in line for some reason. Monarchy stuff is hard to understand, but that's how it works in this kingdom.

Anyway, Sikowitz was in a slump when the first guard entered the throne room. "We brought the girl, Your Kingness."

"The girl the entire kingdom is gossiping about who can spin straw into gold and all that jazz?" The guard nodded. "Why did you bring her here?"

"You told me and Ron to bring her to you, sir."

"Did I?" The guard nodded again. "Well if I told you to bring her in, you may present her to me Ron."

"I'm Harry, sir," Harry corrected.

"Oh it matters! Bring in the girl."

"I CAN DO IT MYSELF!" Jade pushed the doors open, brushed past Harry while managing to push him to the ground, and went over to the king. "Look, these guys are useless; tell me why I'm here or I'll unleash my rage."

"That is no way to speak to royalty! But I like that you take initiative, you would make a fine queen."

"Is that why I'm here?"

"I have heard of your talents from the gossiping wenches, i.e. Trina Vega mostly."

"Of the Noble Vega family?"

"Oh, I can't keep up with people in my kingdom. It's not like I _have _to know who they are, but they have to know who I am."

"So you've heard of my talents? Like my singing or what, 'cause I don't do much."

"Oh, you're so modest. I'm referring to your ability to spin straw into gold."

"Do what now?"

"And because I'm the king- and massively in debt- I command you to use your talent to spin straw into gold for me."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I have no other alternative but to chop off your head for lying to royalty."

"But I didn't lie, Trina did."

"Yeah, but her family's high class; I can't kill a noble girl unless she treasoned."

"I guess I can give it a try. When do you want me to do this thing?"

"I need you to be finished by sunrise."

"Excuse you?"

"Everything's all prepared and I'll personally escort you to where you'll be spinning the straw." Sikowitz snapped his fingers and two different guards rolled out a continuously long carpet. "Another perk of being royalty, owning an extremely long red carpet. You may walk on it with me." Jade shrugged and followed Sikowitz on the continuously rolled out red carpet until it stopped at a wooden door with bars on the tiny window on the door. When the door opened, Jade set her sights on a big room with nothing but straw on the floor. "Good luck."

"Aren't you gonna watch to make sure I do what that wench said I can do?"

"I am the king; I have better, more kingly things to do. Good night, and remember don't fail or…" Sikowitz mimicked decapitation. "Best of luck." He slammed the door and left Jade alone in the room of straw.

Jade continuously kicked the straw while swearing. And then she sat in the center of the room and tried to do what they said she could, but all she did was prick herself with the spinning wheel and then lick her blood. Eventually she got tired and went to sleep.

…

The unlocking of the door freaked Jade out a bit as the king entered and looked around the room in amazement. Noticing his expression, Jade looked around too. The straw was gone and instead of straw, there was nothing but gold. "Man, I'm good," Jade muttered.

"I am impressed. As a reward, you may eat with me and the other well-to-do people today- breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You do deserve it, after all."

"Dang right, I do."

"And you may sit beside me, and across from the prince-to-be."

"Yeah, don't care I just want the food."

"Of course." When Sikowitz and Jade stepped near the dining room, trumpets trumpeted and everyone stood up. "Yes, yes I am here, sit down. This is our guest, who will sit beside me and across from Beck…her name escapes me right now, but I'm sure it's important."

"Hi person," a cheerful looking redhead waved to her.

An attractive boy with good hair stood up and pulled out the seat next to the king's giant chair. Going over to him, Jade pushed him aside. "I can pull out my own chair."

"Excuse me for being a gentleman," he retorted back. "Why are you so important anyway?"

"Because I am!"

"Who do you think you are?"

"What do you care you royal jerk?"

"Peasant wench!"

"You better take that back!"

"Why should I?"

"Enough of this," Sikowitz sat in his giant seat. "This peasant girl is the answer to my problems."

"This peasant girl is a problem."

Jade glared at the boy. "You better watch yourself."

"Now, now," Sikowitz mediated, "there's no need for being all ganky. And Beck, this young miracle girl is our guest and you treat her as such."

Beck started to protest. "But she-"

"Never trust your first impression. I feel it's best that you lead her on a tour of the castle, perhaps take her horseback riding, get to know her better. For all you know, you might like her."

"As if."

Sikowitz turned to Beck. "You now know Beck and myself, these other two ladies are Tori," Sikowitz pointed to the brunette sitting next to Beck, "and Cat."

"Hi!" the redhead waved.

Jade sighed and did a less enthusiastic wave. "I'm Jade."

"Ooh, pretty name."

"So Jade, what do you do in the kingdom?" Tori asked.

Jade shrugged. "Nothing."

Beck scoffed. "Some guest of importance you are."

Jade went over to Beck and pulled a pair of scissors out of her convenient apron pocket. Grasping onto the scissors, she held them right in front of Beck's face. "Say one more thing about me and I'll stab you with these scissors."

"You don't scare me!"

"Nothing scares you Beck," Tori muttered.

"Do your worst."

"Fine," Jade thrusted the scissors into Beck's shoulder and then she cut off a piece of his gorgeous hair. "You asked for that," Jade sat back at her chair and glared at him.

Sikowitz applauded this. "I like you, Jade. I think you would make a fine queen."

"Are you kidding?" Beck asked Sikowitz.

"Usually yes, but this time I am not. If Jade is able to do what she does so well, she will marry you."

"EXCUSE YOU!" Both Beck and Jade didn't agree with this idea.

"And with Tori and Cat as witnesses-"

"Please don't drag us into this," Tori quietly pleaded as Sikowitz continued on.

"-I make this an official act. Now let us enjoy our breakfast and our future newlyweds will spend the day getting to know each other better and subsequently fall in love with each other."

"As if!" Beck and Jade expressed their disdain in unison again.

"See, you both seem perfect for each other already. After breakfast, you will give her a tour of the castle, the castle grounds, and spend the day falling in love with each other." Beck and Jade started to protest simultaneously, their loud voices overlapping with each other. "I said you will spend the day falling in love with each other!" The two of them backed off and slumped back in their seats. "And after spending the day enjoying herself, Jade will spend the night working."

Jade's eyes went wide with some panic. "You want me to do what I did again?"

"You're saying it as if you didn't do it the first time. I am a few thousand short in debt and I thought that another night should pay off all of those debts that I owe to kingdoms who want to burn me at stake. Oh and you know the penalty if you fail."

"Then let's hope she fails," Beck coldly commentated as the two future newlyweds glared at each other.

…

So after spending what seemed to be a long, torturous- but ultimately adequately okay- day with Beck, Jade was sent to a bigger room like the one before with more straw and a spinning wheel. "Good luck, you know the penalty if you fail," Sikowitz left her alone again.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Jade kicked the straw. "I don't even know how it all happened in the first place."

"Never fear my dear, for I am here!" this was an unfamiliar voice.

"Oh great, a rhyming jerk."

"Look, if you don't like the rhyme I don't have to do it," a strange, short guy with curly hair and glasses made his way over to the beautiful maiden.

"Okay, who are you?"

"I'm the guy who spun who the straw into gold yesterday."

"You did?"

"I work for a magic corporation that helps people. Kind of like a fairy godmother deal. The first time's always free, but any other time you need our help, you pay us."

"What if people are poor?"

"Then we take something of value to them."

"I've got no values."

"Well…I gotta take something." Jade removed her necklace and handed it to him. "Okay."

"So do you like choose your clients, or what?"

"Yeah."

"And you chose me?"

"You're hot."

"I know but are you a stalker or something?"

"Part-time. You can take a nap or something and I'll have this done by morning."

"Whatever."

"I'm Sinjin by the way."

"I know."

"You stalk me too?"

"You're wearing a name tag."

"Oh. Sinjin's not my full name, but I didn't want to put the first part of my name on a name tag. Most people call me Sinjin anyway."

"I'll call you freak."

"Oh you can call me whatever you'd like."

"Shut up and spin."

"Yes, my love."

"I hate you." Jade rested on the floor to get another tolerable night of sleep.

Sikowitz entered the room the following morning to the mountains of gold encompassing the room. Impressed, but still in debt, Sikowitz put even more straw in an even bigger room. "Now, Jade, if you succeed you will marry Beck and the two of you will rule. If not, you fail."

"I get the gist," Jade watched as Sikowitz left. "I hope that freak comes back tonight."

"Help! Help!" Jade heard a voice coming from a giant pile of straw. Digging into the pile, she discovered it was only Cat. "Those meanies, I told them I was playing in the straw!"

"You cannot be in here!"

"I didn't wanna be!" Cat looked around. "So what do you do with all this straw?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Some creeper does it for me, I just sleep."

"Um…okay. Can I help?"

"Whatever."

"Yay!" Cat clapped. "What do I do?"

"Nothing."

"Um…KK. So who's the creeper who helps you?"

"FREAK!" Jade yelled.

"I'm here, I'm here!" Sinjin appeared from behind a pile of straw. "Another night of this?"

"Should be the last before I'm sold off as a trophy queen."

"Aww, someone else is marrying you?"

"Yeah, like it's my choice."

Cat looked at Jade confused. "I thought you liked Beck now?"

"Beck?" Sinjin began to think. "The future king?"

"I'm just looking forward to the wealth and food," Jade confessed.

"But what about kids?"

"Don't want any."

"Aww, how sad," Cat commentated.

"What if you accidentally have one?" Sinjin inquired.

"You can have it."

"I can!"

"Ew, you're excited by that?"

"I'm lonely."

"But it says you're Sinjin," Cat pointed to his nametag.

"Sinjin's my nickname, lonely is how I feel and live."

"Aww, how sad."

Jade groaned. "Just do this one last thing and you can have my first kid."

"Okay!"

Cat turned to Jade looking a little frightened. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Cat, why don't you go help the freaky person?" Jade suggested.

"KK!" Cat bounced over to help Sinjin while Jade went to sleep and dreamt of a life as queen

…

Sikowitz was more than impressed the next morning when he discovered giant piles of gold (and for some reason a sleeping Cat). As promised, he started preparations for Beck and Jade's wedding. Sikowitz also allowed for Jade's 'family' to move into the castle. The wedding was a huge event in the kingdom, and everyone- sans Trina who was sent off on a longtime charitable mission in another kingdom- had a good time at the celebration. The bride and groom included who had come to like each other little by little that eventually they fell in love with each other and had a decent first night together as husband and wife.

Nine months later a princess was born. Beck instantly fell in love with his daughter, but Jade had some resentment for the baby claiming it ruined her life- but secretly, she loved her kid. And Jade still remembered her bargain with Sinjin.

"You promised some magical creep that you would give him your first baby?" Tori, who had become a confidant to Jade, was the first person besides Cat who learned of Sinjin.

"That's why Jade pretends she doesn't like her baby," Cat informed Tori as she rocked Jade's baby in its cradle. "She didn't want to get too attached just to give it to that guy."

"You know, you had the baby a month ago, aren't you going to name it?"

"Eh," Jade shrugged.

"You're just going to give your baby to this stranger?"

"Beck and I can always have another one."

"And what are you going to tell him when he asks you what happened to your first, perfectly healthy child?"

"It died."

"Jade!"

"Okay! I'll find a way to keep the kid for Beck's sake."

There was a knock on the open door and Sinjin stood in the doorway. "Hi, it's me!"

"I don't wanna repeat myself, did you hear all that?"

"Yeah, why didn't you name your baby? Ooh, are you going to let me name it? Can I name it Sinjina?"

"Look, my husband likes the kid and I don't think he'd appreciate if I gave it to some random creeper."

"Okay, you can keep her."

Tori gave Sinjin a funny look. "She can?"

"If she can guess my name."

"Sinjin," Jade casually stated.

"Dang!"

"But I thought Sinjin was his nickname," Cat piped up. "Wouldn't you have to guess his real name?"

"CAT!" The girls were aghast.

"What?" Cat was unaware of what she had done.

"Yeah, that's fair!" Sinjin agreed. "I'm gonna go eat, you have until sunset to guess my real name."

"Oh come on!" Jade protested.

"Fine, I'll give you twenty-four hours."

"Can't you give her three days like other magic people?" Tori asked.

"As much as I'd like to, I can't spend all my time with Jade; I have other people I gotta help too. I'll be back tomorrow at sunset and you gotta have my name by then. Oh, only Jade can guess my name." Sinjin disappeared hacking in a cloud of smoke.

"Cat, why did you do that?"

"Do what?" Cat still didn't understand.

"Ease off," Jade warned Tori, "it's not Cat's fault that she's slightly stupid." Cat nodded her head in agreement. "Now start thinking of names."

"Ooh, I like the name Bridget!"

"For Sinjin!"

"Well, Sinjin is his nickname so Sinjin obviously has to be part of the name," Tori deduced.

"Hey ladies," Robbie was at the door, "we told you dinner was ready an hour ago."

"And?"

"We ate. Oh, and we got word that Trina's coming back tomorrow for good." The girls groaned. "Yeah, I know."

"Thanks for the warning, Rob."

"Was I hearing things or were you guys just talking to Sinjin?"

The girls' eyes widened. "You know Sinjin?"

"Yeah, he helped me once when I was trapped in the forest that one time and a bear was about to eat me. He let me stay at his hideout nearby. You know he's got some gold trophy for something called 'visual effects' and he named it Oscar."

"WHAT'S HIS NAME?"

"Sinjin."

"His full name loser!" Jade snapped.

"Geez, bossy."

"Do you know his full name or not?" Tori questioned.

"Yeah, I do."

"WHAT IS IT?" The girls all asked.

…

Sinjin came back the next day at sunset. "So, you think you know my name?"

"RumpleSinjin," Jade point blankly stated.

"Dang it!"

"However, I feel as though I do you owe someone you can take with you so you won't be lonely."

"Oh?"

Tori made her way over to them. "Trina, that new hot guy who will worship you forever is here!"

Trina ran into the room excited. "Well, where is he?" Tori pointed to Sinjin. "This is the hot, worshiping rich guy? What does he have to offer _me_?"

"I can spin straw into gold," Sinjin stated.

Trina ran over to Sinjin and embraced him. "I love you!"

"Wow, thanks!" Sinjin smiled at Jade. "Sorry I almost made you give me your baby, thanks for somewhat keeping your promise. Best of luck as queen."

"Thanks," Jade thanked. "Oh, and Sinjin…"

"Yes, my queen?"

"No stalking me."

"Aww!"

**…**

"_And that's it, I guess," Sinjin ended._

"_That actually wasn't that bad," Tori seemed to like it._

"_It could've been better. Hold up, why did I have a kid?" Jade asked him._

"_That is a key plot to the story," Sikowitz informed. "You can't omit that part. And in some versions the peasant girl married the king, not the prince and they had a son." Jade shuddered at that thought._

"_I have no opinion," Beck stated._

"_No comment," Andre commented._

"_Again, not a big role," Lane lamented. "And why would I adopt Robbie?" Lane noticed Robbie's expression. "Oh, no offense to you Robbie."_

"_I get that a lot," Robbie solemnly stated. "I did enjoy the fact that I had some importance to the story. Your friends also got parts too."_

"_Yeah, I mean they tag along with me all the time and usually go unnoticed," Sinjin added. "I gotta give them some credit I mean they were mauled by children when we pretended to be Diddly Bops."_

"_I loved when we were the Diddly Bops!" Cat randomly said with a smile. "Oh, and your story was good too Sinjin."_

"_Yeah, and so far I wasn't the only one to use a close pairing of you and Robbie."_

"_Why didn't you do that?" Robbie asked._

"_I dunno, it seemed overused."_

"_Why wasn't I in that story?" Rex questioned._

"_I don't know you that well Rex. I wouldn't know how to make a character for you."_

_Rex nodded in understanding. "Understood. Though if I were you, I woulda let the bear eat Robbie."_

"_Hey!" Robbie protested._

"_If I was going to be the love interest all along- which is gross with Sinjin as my Prince Charming or whatever-," Trina began, "why wasn't I the main character?"_

"_At least someone liked you," Jade snarked._

_Lane clapped his hands together. "Who gets the flashlight next?"_

"_Sikowitz!" The teens agreed._

"_Yes, it would seem as though I couldn't tell a coherent or adequate story," Sikowitz shrugged and took the flashlight. "There is debate whether or not my story is a fairy tale, but I'm going to tell it anyway because I don't know any good fairy tales I can tell that doesn't feature a love interest based on a person you children know."_

"_Not even Helen?" Lane questioned._

_Tori looked at Sikowitz confused. "Helen?"_

"_MY STORY!" Sikowitz ignored the last remarked and continued on._

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry it's up later. I took a short break (a day and a half) and then I haven't been home that much and things have been happening. The death was a close family friend and she had passed in a tragic way that no one expected at age 23 and she leaves behind a four year old who also happens to be my favorite cousin's daughter (the friend was my favorite cousin's ex-girlfriend and she was friends with my family). That (and preparations for other things) mostly has been a major affect with not only the delay in writing, but the writing itself. Sorry if this chapter sucks, my mind has been on other things.<strong>

**There is a positive, romantic, Cabbie story that I had finished the day before the death, but I didn't put it up until yesterday/day before (it's past midnight in my time zone). If you want to read that, it's not as bad as this chapter and is upbeat.**

**I promise I'll focus more on the fanfiction and the next chapters will most likely be better. Thanks for sticking with me, and making this my most fast-reviewed story.**


	6. Sikowitz's Fable

**These always seem to be on a delay, huh? Oh well, here's the next part.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Yes, it would seem as though I couldn't tell a coherent or adequate story," Sikowitz shrugged and took the flashlight. "There is debate whether or not my story is a fairy tale, but I'm going to tell it anyway because I don't know any good fairy tales I can tell that doesn't feature a love interest based on a person you children know."<em>

"_Not even Helen?" Lane questioned._

_Tori looked at Sikowitz confused. "Helen?"_

"_MY STORY!" Sikowitz ignored the last remarked and continued on._

**…**

There was a once a beloved toymaker in a village who longed for a child. So he carved himself a little wooden…

…wait, not that story. Yes, the man lived in a village and made toys- and was also somewhat beloved- he wasn't Italian…

…or was he? It's so hard to tell nowadays.

Anywho, the man's name was Rip van Sikowitz, or just plain Sikowitz as most of the children called him. Sikowitz doubled part time as a local schoolteacher and because he was poor, he shared a place with the obsessive compulsive lotion lover who's name shouldn't be mentioned, but for the story's sake must be. Both of these men were totally different; they were like the Felix Unger and Oscar Madison of their time.

On one particularly hot day, Sikowitz neglected to pick up his trousers (yet again) and this had upset Lane. "Sikowitz!" Lane was clearly beginning to nag and/or rant. "How many times do I have to ask you to pick up your clothes and put them away? Oh look, you mixed your clean clothes with dirty clothes!"

"I only wore that particular outfit once, and I plan to wear it again."

"If you wore it once, it's dirty." Lane huffed. "I'm gonna go do laundry again at the river, even though it's your day to do laundry. Why don't you go entertain kids or something?"

"The idea does sound promising. The children do love my whimsicalness and what not. I best be off, but I will return."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Lane muttered as he gathered the clothes.

…

"…thus concluding the tale of the headless horseman." Sikowitz finished telling a story to a group of eight teenagers who had joined him under an apple tree on a nearby mountain. "Now, who would like to share some village gossip?"

A redhead boy raised his hand. "I actually have a question."

"Ask away Cameron."

"Well tomorrow is the ceremony where the village elders choose who kids of our age have to marry next year."

A brunette girl lovingly sighed. "I hope I get to married David."

An African-American girl groaned. "Why does everyone wanna marry David?"

"I'd wanna marry David if I was a girl," an awkward looking boy with huge glasses spoke up. "What? David is very attractive for a man."

"Gee, thanks Leo," a brown haired boy rolled his eyes.

"Anyway," Cameron continued on, "we were wondering if you could come to the ceremony. We'll save you a seat and everything."

"I would be delighted to attend this mating ritual thing," Sikowitz accepted the invitation. "You know, I was once promised to the most beautiful maiden in the village when I was your age."

"But you're single."

"Ah yes, the girl had an unfortunate drowning accident. Strangely, she predicted she would drown the day after she had met me. What a funny skeptic she was."

"Skeptic, sure," a dark haired girl sarcastically commentated.

Sikowitz yawned. "Well, for the time being, you had better prepare for your thing tomorrow. If I do not attend, I will most likely be here or at my house. Now leave so that I may nap."

"KK!" Cameron bounced up. "Bye Sikowitz."

"See you later, Sikowitz," the others left Sikowitz alone.

"Such divine children," Sikowitz said to himself as he dozed off under the tree for some rest.

…

Sikowitz awoke and scratched his beard- which for some reason was long and gray. While standing, he heard cracking noises as he tried to stretch. "Perhaps I've been asleep longer than anticipated," he looked around. "The local community has been able to plant more trees." He shrugged this off and went back to the home he shared with Lane. "Lane!" Sikowitz called for his 'friend' as he entered the dwelling. "Lane, I have returned." He looked around to notice the place was falling apart and that it was empty. "Was it necessary for him to clean everything?" Sikowitz kept walking until he stumbled upon a dirty, cracked mirror. "GOOD GANDHI!" He took a closer look. "That stupid mole has returned." Shrugging this off, he remembered something. "The ceremony for the children!" Sikowitz dashed out of the house and headed into the village, but he stopped in his tracks. "What the?" He noticed unfamiliar places where familiar places used to be. "The community was able to do so much in so little time; more power to them. Ah, I see they haven't closed the library!" He entered the library and went to the front desk. "You're not Librarian Eikner!"

"Librarian Eikner?" The lady raised her eyebrow confused. "Sir, Mr. Eikner has been dead for ten years."

"Odd, I talked to him this morning." Sikowitz shrugged this off and continued on. "Hmm, more books than usual," he pulled one out of a shelf. "Who is this William Shakespeare fellow?" Sikowitz shrugged and threw the book away. He sat down at a table near the back.

"Excuse me," an awkward looking boy with curly hair and big glasses went over to him, "are you one of the elders? If you are I was hoping you could tell me who I have to marry before tomorrow's ceremony. I know it's against the rules but-"

"Oh Leo, you think you're being funny."

"Leo?"

"Do I look like an elder to you?"

"Actually yes you do, and my name's not Leo."

"Do they change names at this ceremony too?"

"What?"

"What is your new name?"

"New name? I was born with the name Robbie."

"Weren't you once Leo?"

"You must be one of the senile elders."

"Beg pardon?"

"Look, Leo's my dad. If you wanna talk to him, I'm sure you can-"

"Hold on, Leo is your father?" Robbie nodded. "And your name is Robbie?" Robbie nodded again. "How long was I asleep?"

"Oh hey, are you the guy on the mountain that people like to poke with a stick?"

"Come again?"

"Have you ever heard the legend?" Sikowitz shook his head no. "Well, twenty years ago my Dad had a really fun teacher guy named Sikowitz and the day before my dad met my mom Sikowitz took them to the mountain and told them a story. When my dad and his friends left, Sikowitz was going to sleep. The next day when they didn't see him at the ceremony, they went back to the mountain where they found him still sleeping. They tried to wake him up, but he wouldn't wake up. The funny thing was he still had a pulse. So, they didn't bother to move him or anything and they decided to wait for him to wake up."

"Odd, my name is Sikowitz and I'm a teacher guy."

"You're Rip van Sikowitz?"

"Erwin Rip van Sikowitz; people always forget the Erwin part before the Rip van."

"Wow, this is so cool! You have to meet my friends," Robbie led Sikowitz out of the library and into the village square where unfamiliar, but semi-identical teenagers similar to some of the ones from before, were standing. "Guys, this is that Sikowitz legend our parents told us about!"

The others stood up and to get a closer look. "Is he like a zombie or something?" A frizzy haired boy asked.

"No, he's just been asleep for twenty years. Sikowitz these are my friends," Robbie began pointing down the row of people starting from the left, "that's Sinjin, then Jade, and Beck, and Andre, then there's Tori, and her older sister Trina, and finally there's Cat."

"Hi!" Cat waved.

"I've been asleep for twenty years?" Sikowitz asked dumbfounded.

"Clearly, so has his brain," Jade sarcastically commented.

Sikowitz chuckled. "Oh I can tell you are Jennette's daughter. Oh, Jennette was delightfully sarcastic and dark."

"So you can remember my mom?" Jade raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe he could remember all of our parents!" Andre suggested.

"He might," Tori agreed. "You should come to tomorrow's ceremony with us!"

Sikowitz smiled. "Something tells me you are David's daughter."

Tori smiled back. "Yeah."

"Um, so am I!" Trina informed.

"Really, I would never have guessed you to be a child of David," Sikowitz shrugged this off. "What have I missed in two decades?"

"Where do we begin to tell you what's happened in twenty years?" Beck rhetorically asked.

"Well, preferably at the beginning."

"He might just be another elder senile," Sinjin suggested. "How do we prove he's the real Sikowitz?"

"Yes, how do you prove I'm the real Sikowitz?"

"We're gonna have to bring him to the ceremony," Tori told the group. "Every villager attends that ceremony."

"I'm sure one of the elders or someone old can recognize you," Beck agreed.

Sikowitz thought this through. "Well, it is a possibility. And I for one am interested in seeing who each of you children are paired with. Til then, I will stay at the local inn where I'm sure there is a room on reserve for me. And if I sleep for a long period of time again, best of luck in your future and who you're forced to marry."

Sinjin stepped closer to Jade. "I hope I get Jade."

"Back off!" Jade demanded.

"Yes, my darling," Sinjin backed away.

…

At the ceremony the next afternoon, the teens tried in futile to get people over twenty to recognize Sikowitz. Most of their parents found it hard to believe that the derelict was their former teacher.

"How can they not know?" Sikowitz asked. "Sure, I've aged physically, but my voice hasn't changed?"

"But our parents were young when they knew you," Tori reminded. "They probably don't remember details about you."

"None of the people over fifty-five recognize you," Andre added.

"Do you children know if Lane Alexander is still alive?" Sikowitz remembered his former roommate?

"Lane Alexander?" Robbie asked for clarification, which was acknowledged by Sikowitz's nod. "He's the town drunk."

"That is so out of character."

Cat continued on. "Lane felt really, really bad that Sikowitz disappeared that day because he wished Sikowitz wouldn't come back."

"Ever since then, Lane's drank because he's guilty," Beck concluded.

"Again, it seems so out of character," Sikowitz commented. "But maybe he could recognize me. Where do we find him?" The gang pointed to an inebriated Lane under the lamppost. "How convenient." Sikowitz went over to Lane. "Lane, do you remember me?"

"GHOST!" Lane ran away screaming.

"I think he recognizes you," Jade snarked.

"Funny, he still seems different than I remember him. Well, I guess I can just pretend that I'm an old man who recently moved into town and-"

"Well, well, well look who's back." An elder black woman approached Sikowitz. "You certainly showed up late for our date…twenty years late."

"Now Helen, I had a legitimate excuse."

"Hmm-hmm," She eyed him up and down, "I'd like to hear your excuse this time."

"Wait a minute, you can recognize him?" Jade asked.

"Sikowitz and I started courting each other after my husband had died. Some courting he's done."

"Helen, please, not in front of the children," Sikowitz reprimanded.

"HEY!" Jade yelled at the two adults. "If you can recognize this guy, you gotta tell the village who he is."

"Why would I do that after what he's done to me?" Helen questioned back.

"IT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL!" Sikowitz defended. "I fell asleep for two decades."

"Hmm-hmm, sure you did." Helen turned her back to leave.

"She hasn't changed much. Ah well, back to my plan about being the new guy in village."

Tori tried to protest. "But Sikowitz-"

"ATTENTION WOMEN OF THE VILLAGE!" Helen stood in the center with her still powerful yell. "DO NOT TRUST ERWIN RIP VAN SIKOWITZ IF HE TRIES TO COURT YOU, HE WILL ONLY FAIL!" She continued off to take her place among the elders.

Sikowitz smiled. "She still loves me."

"Sikowitz," Tori was smiling, "she told the village who you were!"

"Oh I know, that means she cares a lot for me, and doesn't want me to be with other women but her."

"It sounded like she's still mad at you," Trina commented.

Trumpets blew. "Ooh, it's time for the ceremony to start. Go and take your place children," Sikowitz watched as eight of the seven left. "Why aren't you going Trina?"

"I did this last year."

"And where's your husband?"

"Oh, he died in a hunting accident the next day."

"How unfortunate."

**…**

"_And that is where we end."_

"_Wow, that was horrible," Jade snarkily stated._

"_I felt that was kinda rushed," Tori commented._

"_As was yours," Sikowitz retorted to Tori. "Not all stories can be perfect and we must condense our stories so that everyone can tell a tale in the event that the fire department or ambulance come and rescue us. Don't forget Robbie's foot is still broken."_

"_Oh yeah," Cat seemed to have forgotten and tapped Robbie's foot. "Does that hurt?"_

"_Not when you tap that gentle," Robbie informed her._

"_What if I do this?" Jade pounded her first onto Robbie's injured foot._

"_OW!"_

"_Did that hurt?" Cat sincerely asked Robbie._

"_Can we get back to critiquing?" Sikowitz asked the group. "Beck, why don't you speak next?"_

"_Again, neutral," Beck replied. "None of these stories stand out above anyone else's; and I bet mine won't either."_

_Lane raised his hand. "I want to be the one to go next."_

"_Fine," Sikowitz agreed. "The rest of you, did you like it?"_

_Andre shrugged. "You kept the basic plot, so props for that. There weren't a lot of characters anyway, so you fit it well. Still, you could've ended it better and not rush it."_

"_See!" Tori pointed out what Andre said._

"_Don't be rude Tori, you rushed your story too."_

"_Well, you find out who your friends are."_

"_Dang girl!"_

"_Sorry, I thought I did a good job."_

"_You didn't," Jade coldly told her._

"_Moving on," Sikowitz pointed to Sinjin._

"_Oh me?" Sinjin looked around. "Well, I don't know what story you were telling. Was it original?"_

"_It was _Rip van Winkle _by Irving Washington," Robbie informed._

"_Washington Irving," Beck corrected. "It's the same guy who wrote the story of Ichabod and the headless horseman and the Paul Revere rhyme thing."_

"_Oh _Ichabod and Mr. Toad_!" Sinjin got excited._

"_No, just Ichabod."_

_Cat giggled. "I like Mr. Toad. Oh, and I thought Sikowitz's story was okay too."_

"_Why was I not featured in Sikowitz's story?" Rex point blank asked._

"_You're not one of my students," Sikowitz stated. "Robbie, your thoughts?"_

"_It was okay."_

"_Me next," Trina brought focus to herself. "I thought it was tolerable, but why didn't you pair any of us up? And what's the deal with you and Principal Helen?"_

"_Lane, you next," Sikowitz handed Lane the flashlight._

"_Well," Lane cleared his throat, "I did feel it was rushed- as was Tori's—"_

"_Okay, stop bringing up my story!" Tori protested. "Remember, I was the one who told the first story and the first stories aren't always the best."_

"_Sorry," Lane apologized. "Sikowitz, I feel as though your math is horribly wrong, I have no idea who the original children you knew were-"_

"_Our parents," Robbie answered. "Leo is the name of my dad, Cameron is Cat's dad, and David is the name of Tori's dad."_

"_I thought of all faculty members, you would remember parents better than me," Sikowitz said to Lane. "I'm usually so zoned out during those parent-teacher conference things that are a waste of time."_

"_Amen!" Jade agreed._

"_Anyway," Lane proceeded with his input, "we were told we wouldn't use parents."_

"_Were we?" Sikowitz shrugged this off anyway. "Proceed."_

"_And I was so out of character! I'd never drink. The obsessive-compulsive lotion bit, yes that part is true. We were once roommates and it was Hell, pardon the expression. By the way, nice reference to the _Odd Couple _and bonus for keeping the basic plot of _Rip van Winkle_ and working with what little you had."_

"_Yes, thank you."_

"_I'm still confused though on a few things? First off, we're still friends right?"_

"_Of course."_

"_And what was up between you and Helen?"_

"_Yeah!" The group wanted to know._

"_Lane," Sikowitz refused to tell, "what story do you have to tell?"_

"_Well, my story will not feature me as a romantic lead- as Sikowitz's didn't- and it features my biggest passion…dancing." Lane had a smile on his face._

* * *

><p><strong>What did happen between Sikowitz and Helen? We'll never know. But at least we know or can deduce what story Lane will tell. Sorry for the delay, but now this part is up. <strong>

**And yes, I even agree Tori's story is rushed so like any good person, I poke fun at that. I am in no way shape or form upset with those remarks, I totally agree with what you guys said and I took light at it. If some of these stories seem rushed, sorry. I try to condense them as if you're watching them on an actual episode of _Victorious_. Here's hopin' I'm doin' good.**

**By the way…HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**


	7. Lane Tells His Story

[WARNING: Due to a lack of females in the _Victorious _setting, the number of dancing princesses will be reduced. The author of this fanfiction apologizes for any inconvenience, confusion and/or psychological trauma this may inflict on the reader who is familiar with the story Lane will be ripping off called _The Twelve Dancing Princesses. _For the record, bluecinderella4 (the author) has contemplated creating original characters, but as thus decided against it and will mention the names of other students at Hollywood Arts High School and then tell you which episode said student appeared in at the end of this chapter. She also thanks you for reading and tolerating her and her strangeness.]

**Thanks a lot disclaimer person.**

**Yes, merely a humorous warning (or at least I hope it was humorous), but I feel I should let you all know that in advanced in case of the confusion or psychological trauma.**

**Proceeding forward…**

* * *

><p>"<em>Lane," Sikowitz began, "what story do you have to tell?"<em>

"_Well, my story will not feature me as a romantic lead- as Sikowitz's didn't- and it features my biggest passion…dancing." Lane had a smile on his face._

**…**

Back in the olden days, there was a boarding school for princesses where Headmistress Helen ruled with an iron fist. But Helen wasn't wholly without a heart and had a passion for shoes. So every night she laid out a new pair of shoes for the senior class of princesses. However, every morning the shoes were in poor condition and were obviously used. And this made Headmistress Helen mad.

"I'm mad!" She announced to her council. "How is it that a new pair of shoes is destroyed every morning?" The council mumbled simultaneously. "Some help you all are." Helen stormed off to the Great Hall where the girls were. "ATTENDANCE!" They all ran in a procession in the aisle way. "Tori, Trina, Jade, Cat, Jessica, Christine, and Gwen," she made it to the giant chair at the center end of the great hall. "SIT!" The girls all sat down. "Ladies, you are the senior class and once graduation comes around, you will be promised off to the princes or noblemen in the boarding school across the river. When they all attend the ball next month, you will be paired off with said prince."

"They all suck," Jade commented.

"Yes, I know, but I can't do much about that. But I do know that all of you young ladies have been looking forward to this ball, have you not?"

"Yes, Madam Helen," the girls all answered.

"Well it's cancelled." The girls were in an uproar. "SILENCE!" They stopped talking. "As tradition, I leave the senior class a nice pair of shoes and every morning they're mysteriously in poor condition."

"Give it a rest!" Jade stood up. "You've asked us all about this thing and we've told you that have no idea what goes down."

"This is during my beauty sleep," Trina added.

"Plus you lock all of the doors and windows," Tori reminded. "No one can get in, or out."

"Even if they have to go to the bathroom," Cat spoke.

"Then can any of you elaborate have to why seven pairs of shoes are in poor condition if none of you even wear them?" Helen got no response. "Umm-hmm. Til this mystery is solved, no ball."

"You've already banned dancing, so what's the difference?" Jade snarked. "None of us want to go to that ball if it means we're gonna be sold off to lame princes and ugly aristocrats."

"Then just for that, the ball is back on! Now all of you get back to your princess lessons. March!" Tori was the first in a line of girls as Jade stood back and glared at her headmistress. "You heard me, get!" Jade gave her an angry scowl and left with her classmates. "Girl is nothing but trouble," Helen went off to her chambers (the equivalent of an office, but called chambers for some reason) as someone knocked on her door. "WHAT?" The counselor, Lane, entered her chambers. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"

"I've just come in here to confirm that the seven elected senior students from the boys school will be attending the ball," Lane paused, "there will be a ball will there?"

A realization hit Helen. "Crafty girls; they just wanted the ball."

"They do like to dance."

"Dancing is prohibited, and you know that!"

Lane sighed. "Yes, I do. But getting back to the issue at hand, have you figured out why the shoes are in such terrible condition?"

"No…and I know them girls know the truth." Helen began to think. "I'm gonna have to send someone in to watch them as they sleep, without their consent of course; if they knew, they'd ruin it someone- particularly Jade."

"Then what do you suggest?"

Helen smiled a devious smile. "Lane, would you take note of something?"

"Sure," Lane prepared himself. "Is this a proclamation or something?"

"Sure, whatever." Helen cleared her throat. "Headmistress Helen at the Academy for Princesses Boarding School is asking men to come to the castle and solve a shoe related mystery-"

"Shoe related mystery? Sorry for interrupting Helen, but men don't care for shoes."

"You do."

"I'm a choreographer, that's different."

"Umm-hmm…but I suppose you're right."

"And I don't think they'd come and solve a mystery if there wasn't a reward involved."

"You have a point." Helen started to pace in thought. "I GOT IT!" This startled Lane, but he braced himself for what Helen had to say. "Whoever is able to solve the mystery- with legitimate proof- will be allowed to choose one of the seven princesses as his bride."

"Are you sure that's legal?"

"Stop askin' questions. Ooh, and if the man fails, he'll be sentenced to death."

"Helen!"

"It's fair."

"No, it's not, and you don't have the authority to do that."

"Oh, right. Well…then they'll go home via cannon."

"Helen!"

"That cannon should be put to good use. Now, send word out; the deadline is until the date of the ball…which I forgot the date so mark that down."

"Yes, Helen."

What Helen didn't know was that the smartest of the princesses, Christine, had created a way for the girls to hear what was going in in private rooms of the school. "They can't do that!" Jessica protested after they eavesdropped on Helen's plan.

"Helen better hope no one solves that mystery or I'll tear the apart," Gwen was one who liked violence.

"What are we gonna do? If a commoner finds out what happens," she gasped, "I can't bear to think about marrying a poor guy; it's bad enough I gotta marry an ugly rich guy."

"What are we gonna do Tori?" Trina asked.

"Me?" Tori looked around. "Oh so whenever there's a crisis I'm the leader?"

"Uh-huh," Cat nodded.

"See that's not our smartest of plans relying on a Vega sister," Jade began, "unlike them I actually do have an idea that will work."

"Ooh, what?"

"I'll tell you all in written code so that no one can find out. Just try me on this, okay."

"Do we really have any other option?" Christine inquired.

"Trust me, or I hurt you."

…

When word reached of the challenge, men came from all across the nearby kingdoms to try and solve the mystery. But, much to Helen's dismay and anger, they all failed.

"I just don't understand it," Lane was talking to Professor Sikowitz, their wizarding teacher. "Night after night after night men have perfect opportunity to spy on them, but they're found sleeping the next morning; the shoes in poor condition. How are they failing?"

"I have a theory," Sikowitz was well known for being a whack-job and in preparation for what this insane man- who for some reason had a job teaching at the school- was going to say, Lane rolled his eyes. "The girls are aware of the men and they come in through the bookcase, because their rooms are right next door to the guest room, and offer the man something to drink- usually red wine which they're not supposed to be drinking- because he will be awake all night. Naturally, the man will take it, and then a few seconds later, he instantly falls asleep and wakes up with no recollection of the drink."

"Really?"

"And I know where the princesses go."

"Do you?"

"Oh yes. There are four beds lined against the walls. The beds on the left side of the wall reveal a secret passage through the castle and into an enchanted forest. After walking through the enchanted forest, there is a boat waiting for them to take them to the abandoned castle."

"Abandoned castle?"

"It's in that kingdom that abandoned the monarchy a few years ago and does that president thing," Sikowitz chuckled, "as if that will ever catch on. The president lives in this white mansion," he kept laughing, "that whole idea is so stupid."

"Wherever did you get this theory from Sikowitz?"

"Well, the kingdom with the president is in a poor economy state right now and-"

"No, the other theory on the princesses and the abandoned castle."

"Oh, I've gone to that castle a few times to test my dangerous potions and that's where I saw the girls. And Jade asked me for a powerful sleeping potion around the time that this whole thing started."

"And pray tell, what were they doing in this castle?"

"Dancing."

Lane perked up. "Dancing?"

"Oh yes, that castle is a hot dance spot now. I myself have danced there with the beautiful maiden Felicia."

"Have they seen you there?"

"I've danced with them a few times yes."

"And you've never told Helen?"

"I have earned the title of favorite professor; I intend to keep said title. Besides, they have so much fun, especially Jade. I've seen her smile many a-times. I never knew she had teeth."

"Jade smiles? Now I know this is a lie?"

"Is it? Some of this is starting to sound legitimate to you."

"Well, some of it could be fact."

"There is only one way to be sure."

"How?"

"Good Gandhi Lane, you're supposed to be the genius, not me!"

"Are you saying that I have to follow them?" Sikowitz nodded. "Sikowitz, if you know all about this, why don't you tell Helen?"

"Helen and I are not on speaking terms. That and I think it would be incredibly awkward for me to marry one of those girls considering my age. I would also lose the favorite professor title if I was the one who snitched on them. They don't much care for you though."

"Ah."

"Listen, I can help you Lane." Sikowitz opened a giant wardrobe. "Do you see this invisibility cloak?"

"If I do it must not be working."

Sikowitz wrapped the cloak around his body and didn't put the hood up. As if by magic, his body disappeared leaving only his head. "Do you see this invisibility cloak now?"

"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle."

"What a coincidence, I am a monkey's uncle!" Lane gave Sikowitz a funny look. "It's a long story," he took off his cloak. "Use it well, and don't stain it."

"If I do solve the mystery, I'd marry one of the girls."

"There's that option."

"Are there any other options?"

"Lane, you're staff here, and Helen likes you; if you solve the mystery, decline one of the girls but ask for something else that you really want."

"Something that I really want, huh? I suppose I could do that."

"Excellent! Oh, would you like to be the first to test my new potion?" Sikowitz held up a vial of some sort of purple bubbling liquid.

"Eh…no."

"Suit yourself," Sikowitz drank the disgusting liquid. "Tastes like arsenic."

"You know what arsenic tastes like and lived?"

"I have developed an immunity to poison. Oh, here," Sikowitz tossed Lane a little bottle, "rub that liquid on your hands and you're hands will be soft and clean. I call this discovery…actually I haven't named it yet, but I am leaning toward the term 'lotion'."

"What a stupid name for a liquid." Lane put the bottle in his pocket and headed off to Helen's office chamber place.

He knocked on her door and was greeted with an extremely loud, "WHAT?"

Lane cautiously opened the door. "Helen, I would like to solve this mystery."

"No," she point blankly stated without looking at him.

"But I can get proof!"

"That's what they all."

"Listen, if you allow me to do this, I can give you proof and put an end to this mystery. Please, let me try."

"Why not, no one else has been able to."

"I won't disappoint you!" Lane ran out of there and into his office chamber place where he pulled out a shirt the same color of the red wine that the girls would offer. "Time to solve the mystery of the seven dancing princesses."

…

Lane sat patiently on the bed waiting for one of the princesses to come through the bookcase. Much to his surprise, Tori was the one who came through. "Hey Lane."

"Tori, I didn't know the bookcase did that. What are you doing here?"

"We know about Helen trying to get a bunch of guys to solve the shoe mystery; you know, you're the oldest one out of any of the men."

"Imagine that. That's a nice dress you're wearing by the way."

"Thanks. Since you're going to be up for a while, do you want some red wine?"

"How did you get the wine?"

"Jade."

"Ah," Lane took the glass of wine Tori offered and pretended to drink it, the wine really falling on his shirt. "Um, this is very delicious." Lane was very convincing with yawning and collapsing to the floor shortly after. As soon as Tori was gone, Lane bolted up and took out his invisibility cloak. As quietly as he could, he snuck through the bookcase passage. The girls were standing in front of the wall mirrors adding finishing touches.

"Hey," Jessica beckoned for the girls, "help me get this bed against the wall." The girls all pushed the bed against the wall, giving Lane leeway to sneak out from behind the bookshelf and into their room. Still trying to be quiet, he followed the girls down the stairs and through the enchanted forest.

"Oh my," Lane whispered as he noticed the glowing branches in the enchanted forest. He pulled off a branch and stuffed it into the cloak pocket.

Cat, the last of the seven princesses, turned around frightened. "Did you hear that?"

"Probably the wind," Trina brushed this off, "now let's go."

"What if someone's following us?"

"Nobody knows we even do this, how can they be following us? Now hurry up before all the cute guys leave."

"Like the cute guys would even dance with you," Lane heard Jade sarcastically remarked to Trina as they made it to the boat.

Sneaking on, Lane accidentally missed a step and bumped into Jessica. Jessica turned around and thought Gwen had bumped into her. So, Jessica pulled Gwen's hair.

"OW!" Gwen grabbed her hair. "What was that for?"

"Like you don't know!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Gwen started a physical fight and Lane did his best not to intervene as the other girls just let this happened.

When the boat made it to the abandoned castle, Jessica and Gwen hurried off to freshen up and the girls (and an invisible Lane) hurried off the boat and into the castle. Now even though no one took residence in the castle, it was far from abandoned. The halls, sure they were desolate and empty, but the ballroom was exquisite…and full of people dancing their cares away.

"Ladies," a young man bowed and took Christine's hand to escort her to the center of the dance floor.

"Aw, I wanted to dance with Ryder!" Trina lamented.

"Ryder's a ladies' man, this dance means nothing to him," Tori commented. "Ooh, I'm gonna go hang with Andre." Tori hurried over to where her friend was standing.

Jessica and Gwen entered the ballroom. Brushing her dress, Gwen ran over to a muscular young man. Jessica's jaw dropped. "How dare she dance with Russ! I always dance with Russ! I am so mad, I could-"

"Hi," an attractive male kissed Jessica's hand, "care to dance."

"Love too. I'm Jessica."

"I'm Mark of the McCallan Family Dynasty."

"Ooh, rich and handsome." They went to the dance floor.

Then there were three. "Crap, Sinjin," Jade tried to hide.

"Hi," an awkward, frizzy haired man pushed up his glasses. "I was wondering if I can dance with you tonight Trina?"

"Get lost, Sinjin," Trina tried to get away from him.

"But you're the only one who hasn't shared a pity dance with me!" he chased after her.

Cat looked around. "I don't see my date anywhere…Beck's not here either."

"Beck better be here," Jade was bitter when she said this. "He has never missed a dance and why should he start now?"

"Didn't you say he had something for you?"

"Oh yeah."

"What do you think he's gonna give you?"

"Look Cat, a buffet table."

"Yay, food!" Cat ran off to the table leaving Jade to wait alone. Not wanting to focus on what teen girls do, Lane followed Cat to the buffet table. Standing near the table was another awkward looking, curly haired boy with a puppet. "Oh, hi Robbie."

"Hi Cat," Robbie greeted.

"Aw is no girl dancing with you again?"

"Heh," Rex chuckled, "that's an understatement. None of these girls will even give him a pity dance."

"Rex!" Robbie was upset by this.

"Aw, well I'll dance with you Robbie."

"You will?"

"Sure, and-" while getting food, Lane didn't notice that his side had bumped into Cat's. "-something hit me!"

"Oh, okay I guess you can't dance. Hey, why do girls always make up excuses not to dance with me?"

"It'd be easier to answer why they don't," Rex insulted.

Cat, looked around again. "I guess it was my imagination; but I'd still like to dance with you."

"Dang girl, what's wrong with you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I thought the blondes were supposed to be ditzes."

"You sit down and be quiet!" Robbie sat Rex down. "So, you'll dance with me?"

"Sure," Cat led Robbie to the dance floor.

Lane watched the young people dance. "Ah to be young again. Oh what the heck?" He shrugged and threw his food back where it hit Tori in the head, but Lane didn't notice of course. He was no in the center of the ballroom, still invisible, dancing his butt off and having such a good time.

The conductor turned to the dancers. "This next song will be the final song of the evening and it will be a Waltz," he turned back and got the band to play slower.

"Oh well, it was fun while it lasted," Lane went back to the buffet table. "Huh," he looked at a plate of what looked to be onion rings, but they didn't exist yet. So Lane took a couple for proof, eating a few as he glanced around at the dancers. "Let's see there's Tori, Trina, Jessica, Cat, Gwen, Christine, and…" his eyes went wide, "where's Jade?" He ran around the ballroom looking for her, and then he found her out on the balcony in the arms of a very handsome young man with gorgeous hair. "That must be Beck," he moved closer to get a good listen.

"I'm sorry I was late," Beck apologized, "but my little brother wouldn't go to sleep and it was hard to sneak out."

"Yeah, well don't let it happen again," Jade chastised. "Look, I've been out here on this balcony dancing with you, when do I get my present?"

"Bossy, aren't we?" Beck took a necklace out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"This?"

He then reached for another identical necklace. "It's a symbol of our love for each other."

And Lane saw Jade smile for the first time. "I love it." He had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. She was smiling AND she gave a compliment. This Beck guy was a miracle worker. They shared a long kiss in the moonlight under the stars as the music stopped. "I gotta go."

"I know," he led her back into the ballroom and he (along with some other male friends) led the girls to the boat where they bade the girls goodbye as the boat went back toward the enchanted forest…

…without Lane. "Oh this isn't good!" Lane started to panic. "How am I going to get back?"

BOOM! An explosion was heard back at the castle followed by the yell of, "GOOD GANDHI THAT WAS PAINFUL!" And Lane was off in the direction back to the abandoned castle to seek assistance from the wizarding whack-job.

…

The next morning, Helen was in a rage Not only were the shoes destroyed, but Lane was gone. To make matters worse, they were out of her favorite mid-morning appetizer.

"Oh I am enraged," Helen stomped her foot. "I am so gonna have him thrown out of that cannon!" She entered the Great Hall where the senior girls were gathered. When their headmistress entered, the immediately stood up. "I give up! I guess the shoe thing will remain a mystery! How do you girls do it?"

"Well we-"

"Cat," Jade glared at her.

"-we don't know."

"Oh, but I have the last laugh. Because of this, not only will there be no ball, but you all will fail!"

"Again?" Trina spoke.

"Madam Helen, please reconsider this!" Tori protested.

"I HAVE SPOKEN!"

The doors to the Great Hall burst open, but no one was there. The sound of running footsteps could be heard followed by a, "I have proof!"

"Not another ghost!" Helen sounded annoyed by this.

"Oh, sorry," Lane removed the hood from the cloak to reveal his head. This maneuver caused the girls to scream. "Oh right," he took off the cloak entirely. "Helen, I know what happened to the shoes and I have proof."

"You what?" Jade looked furious.

"I do," Lane removed the branches and onion rings. "These branches are from the enchanted forest, and these ring shaped food with onion inside of them were from the castle. In this castle, the seven senior princesses spent their night dancing and thus ruining the shoes."

"Ooh, Lane's a good guesser!" Cat smiled. "It's like he was actually there."

"I was there, Cat."

"Ring shaped food with onions," Helen tried the food. "Peculiar, but delicious. Alright, mystery solved. Choose one of them for your bride."

"Actually Helen, I was hoping we could work out some other sort of reward."

"Like what?"

…

Later that evening an assembly was held in the Great Hall for all of the girls. "Ladies," Helen began, "I am here to announce some good news. First off, the mystery of the shoes have been solved. Not going into too much detail I will say dancing is a key factor. And by popular demand, I have decided to hold a school dance every other weekend." The students cheered. "You can all thank the counselor for that," Lane stood up and waved, but Helen blocked him, "and in addition, a new rule has been reinstated. Any girl in the senior class has the option to marry a prince or aristocrat, or whoever they want provided it's someone their own age and is approved by the headmistress, i.e., me." More clapping. "And finally," Helen held up an onion ring, "these edible ring shaped food with onions in them shall be at every buffet table for every party and come as an appetizer option." There was more applause, but it was still confused because the underclassmen didn't know what those things were. "You may all leave now." The girls left the hall.

"You're doing a good thing, Helen," Lane commented.

"Yeah, I guess. A little change never hurt anybody."

"Nope."

"You can leave now."

"Actually, I was hoping you could do me one more favor."

"What now?" Sikowitz entered the hall with his one-man band of many instruments. "Uh, what's goin' on?"

Lane bowed to Helen. "Helen, will you dance with me?"

Helen sighed. "Why not?"

And the counselor and the headmistress danced a waltz to end all waltzes as the story concluded.

**…**

_Lane looked at them. "The story concluded."_

"_Lane, I can't help but think you ripped off _Harry Potter_," Beck pointed out._

"_And you ripped off some of my story," Jade snarled._

"_I took liberties with other stories while I still kept the general idea of another story," Lane defended. "I had to work with what I had seeing as though there were a lot of girls to choose from but I only settled on seven."_

_Cat giggled. "Like the seven dwarfs," she kept giggling._

"_Wow Lane, you ripped that off too," Jade sarcastically commented._

"_And do you like Helen or something?" Andre asked._

"_Yeah, what gives?" Tori repeated._

"_No, I have no romantic feelings toward Principal Helen," Lane assured, "I just wanted to give the main character a sort of love interest."_

"_Not all main character needs a love interest."_

"_Yeah, and in your case it backfired horribly," Jade insulted._

"_Anyone else have anything to say?" Lane asked._

"_I thought it was okay," Robbie commentated._

"_You featured me," Rex added, "so I give you props."_

"_Why was I in with these girls?" Trina asked. "I'm a year older than them. Are you implying that I'm gonna fail or something?"_

"_If you failed, you wouldn't be going to this school," Lane reminded. "Which by the way, I still am baffled as to how you got into this school in the first place."_

"_I think Trina has talent," Sinjin stated. "I just wish that she would've given me a pity dance."_

"_These stories aren't real Sinjin. Please don't get too involved."_

"_Okay."_

"_Sikowitz?" Sikowitz was looking into the distance. "Sikowitz!" Lane snapped his fingers._

"_Oh, I'm sorry. What were we talking about?"_

"_Did you listen to my story at all?"_

"_Somewhat," Sikowitz admitted._

"_What?"_

"_I was distracted by that mark I never noticed on the wall. Peculiar little mark; it reminds me of-"_

"_Oh come on, I listened to your story and it was horrible!"_

_Sikowitz gasped like a girl. "Well, sir, I am offended by that remark. Here I thought you were my friend."_

_Lane groaned. "Okay, who's telling the story next?"_

"_Well who would have a weak story next?"_

"_Robbie," everyone (sans Robbie agreed)._

"_Oh come on guys, that's not entirely true!" Robbie protested._

"_Is so," Rex replied back. "Why don't you ruin one story before someone else has the chance to?"_

"_Well, I did have a couple of ideas for a story, but they're the more popular ones."_

"_Which ones?" Tori asked._

"Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid_-"_

_Cat gasped. "I was gonna use _Little Mermaid_!"_

"_Hey I know what story you should tell," Beck said._

"_Which one?" Robbie inquired._

"_The one about the toy soldier with one leg."_

"_Oh yeah," Andre agreed. "That totally suits him 'cause he's got the busted leg."_

"_Foot!" Robbie reminded. "My leg isn't broken, just my foot."_

"_Do you want me to break your leg?" Jade glared at him. "Hurry and up and tell that story."_

"_What if Robbie doesn't know it?" Tori reminded._

"_No, I know it," Robbie confessed. "And I guess I can tell it. Can someone hand me the flashlight?" Lane tossed the flashlight to Robbie and it landed on his injured foot. "OW!"_

"_Sorry," Lane apologized._

_Robbie grunted. "Okay," he composed himself. "Imagine that everyone in the story is a toy except Rex."_

"_Ironically you all think I am a toy," Rex chuckled._

"_No they don't!"_

"_Just tell the story!" Jade commanded._

"_Okay, okay!"_

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I was trying to sleep when I got the idea that everyone else is a toy but Rex for Robbie's fantasy. Clever, huh?<strong>

**Okay I promised I'd let you know who the others were. Well Gwen and Russ were featured in the episode **_**Stage Fighting**_**, Ryder and Christine were in **_**Beggin' on Your Knees**_** (Christine was the girl Robbie tried to ask out when he was dressed like Ryder)**_**, **_**but those four are ones that you've seen. The unseen ones include Jessica Wolfe who was Robbie's onetime (failed) date in the episode **_**Rex Dies**_** and senior Mark McCallan mentioned in **_**Freak the Freak Out **_**who tried to call Tori to ask her out, but Trina answered.**

**I hope this was sufficient, I have been suffering from writer's block and I've been watching too much **_**Mama's Family **_**on YouTube which has caused some distraction. I know he ripped off some of Harry Potter but the invisibility cloak was actually a part of the story. I also kinda realized he took some elements from Jade's story and I made fun of that too. Still, I thought this turned out okay.**

**Also, thanks a bunch for the reviews. Six chapters and I've made it to 35 reviews. Damn, that's never happened. I must be getting somewhat popular or something. Thanks again, that makes me feel happy because it shows that someone somewhere is actually reading this. Dang, it's a good feeling! Wow, cyber-love all around to you guys- even the ones who do read, but don't review because I'm one of those people.**


	8. Robbie Recites his Version

**Hello! So I think we basically came out and said what Robbie's story would be at the end of the last chapter. And I realized once his story's done, that will be seven people who have told a story and there's four stories left not counting this one. So feel free to leave your best guesses as to what's coming next and who you think is going to tell what. I'm not going to repeat the list because I was so nice to give in to people and tell you what the stories were anyway- but for the record it's in the 3****rd**** chapter.**

**Heads up: this is Robbie centric, but it does have Cabbie. Yes, there will be some tiny Bade sprinkled in there, but if you know me on this fandom, you know which couple I prefer.**

**And if you notice me on this fandom, thank you for the recognition.**

**Now, to make up for a longer delay, here's a longer chapter. This fairy tale is one of my favorites (Top 5) and I had to use it somehow. Or at least, I think it's longer. Whatever, I didn't know what to take out or what to leave in, so yeah. Here it is.**

* * *

><p><em>"Okay," Robbie composed himself. "Imagine that everyone in the story is a toy except Rex."<em>

"_Ironically you all think I am a toy," Rex chuckled._

"_No they don't!"_

"_Just tell the story!" Jade commanded._

"_Okay, okay!"_

**…**

Back before any of the cool electronic stuff ever existed, whenever kids were bored, they'd play with toys. Well this kid, Rex, had an ever growing toy collection that included an olden day Ken and Barbie, a toy cat, a (stolen) Christmas tree angel, a marionette, a jack-in-the-box, and a dancing ballerina figurine. Sure, it was pretty cool, he always got more and more toys, but they were mostly for show because he was getting older and became interested in girls.

But that was okay because every time the toys were left alone, they did a _Toy Story _thing and came to life, interacting with the other toys. Most of them got along with each other and there was almost always no problem because conflict and violence isn't always the answer to everything and people should learn to get along.

Irregardless, the toy room at Rex's was a paradise. And since Rex didn't play with the toys as much, they were free to do what they wanted because freedom is also cool.

But that's getting kind of off topic. The main focus of the story is about a toy Rex didn't have yet, but was gonna get soon.

In school, Rex took an early form of woodshop class and they were getting ready for their final projects. Wanting to outdo everybody (as he often wanted), he decided to make his project out of tin. How he got the tin is unclear-and possibly illegal- but when he got it, he started to make a tin soldier…

…and it was a good thing he started at the head because he ran out of tin while working on the left leg. Rex shrugged this off. "Fine, be a one-legged freak," he continued his work on the solider, presented it to his class, got a decent grade, and cast the solider aside in the playroom once it was all over. "Dang cripple toy got me a 'B' anyway." Rex slammed the door as he left.

"NEW TOY!" A female voice shouted.

Reaching for the wooden gun Rex built for him, the soldier braced himself. "Who's there? Show yourself?"

"Whoa there!" The voice belonged to an angel. "I'm the designated new toy greeter."

Robbie lowered his weapon. "That's cool I guess."

"No, not really. Anyway, I'm Tori and I have to give you a tour of the playroom so you remember how everything goes when we freeze."

"Sounds fun."

"It's not."

"Oh. Well anyway, I'm Robbie." Robbie hobbled closer toward her. "I figured you'd wanna get this tour over with so let's get it started."

"Right," Tori noticed the obvious feature. "You're sure to get a lot of sympathy from the other toys."

"Why?"

"You know, for being…broken."

"Broken? What's broken?"

"Right, you're new. Broken is when you're missing any original parts you were built with. I've heard it's much worse than being cracked or ruined, but I wouldn't know."

"Oh, I'm not broken."

"But…you're-"

"Yeah, I know. Rex didn't have enough tin to finish my left leg. Good thing he started with the head."

"Why didn't he make you a leg out of wood like your gun?"

"He didn't have much wood either and he thought a gun would be cooler. He's really very lazy."

"Yeah, we know. After the tour you've got to meet the rest of the toys."

"Wow." Robbie followed close behind as Tori led him on our tour of the playroom. As the tour continued on, Robbie couldn't help but notice the looks he was getting from other toys.

"And then there's the toy barn," Tori rambled on. "That's one of the most popular hangouts across from the miniature piano. Andre is our resident musician. If you have any other questions, I live in the dollhouse a few blocks from the shoebox," Tori pointed to the literal blocks in front of a small dollhouse. "Do you have any other questions now?"

"What about that castle?" Robbie pointed upwards to the castle on the only table in the playroom.

"When Rex started to run out of room because his sister got more dollhouses, he moved the castle onto the table because it was his favorite. His sister comes in here from time to time and plays with the castle. That's where Cat is."

"Cat? Like the animal?"

"No, Cat's the ballerina. She used to live with me in my dollhouse, but the last time she got played with, she was accidentally left up there. The only way for her to come down is to fall and she's could easily break if she falls. Plus if she did get down, she'd have to get back up the next time a human came in because that's the last place she was. There's really no way up either."

"Wow," Robbie looked back up. "Is there anyone else up there?"

"Yeah, my sister Trina; Trina's not technically a toy."

"What is she?"

"She's a marionette. Trina's never really met the other toys before except me."

"How are you two sisters?"

"We were made by the same toymaker and we came here together. If you're the same gender, you're siblings. If you're different genders, you were made for each other and you marry each other in a special toy ceremony."

"Has there ever been a toy ceremony like that?"

"Once with Beck and Jade, but it wasn't really that special."

"What about toys made in different factories? Could they be made for each other?"

Before Tori could answer, fun music could be heard. "Sounds like Andre's at the mini piano," Tori headed over to the toy piano with Robbie following. "Andre!"

Over at the toy piano, a toy cat was playing a fun little tune and other toys started gathering round dancing. "Hey Tori!" The cat took one paw off the toy piano and waved before putting his paw back on the piano. "Any requests?"

"No, we gotta new toy!" Andre stopped playing when they noticed the one-legged soldier behind him. "Everyone this is Robbie."

"You sure he's new?" A plastic doll with black hair questioned with sarcasm. "He looks broken to me."

"Robbie was made this way."

"A cripple?"

"Jade!" A similar plastic doll, but male, was aghast by what she said. "Listen Robbie I'm sorry for…her. Don't hesitate to ask for anything you can't get."

"Thanks," Robbie thanked. "I'd like to visit the castle and other toy up on the table."

"Gee, Robbie, I dunno about that."

"Maybe we could find a way that takes us both up and down from the table."

"There is one way," Jade spoke.

"Jade!"

"What? If he gets his crippled butt stuck up there good for him; one less toy to worry about. Listen, you wanna talk to La-"

"Who wants to hear some upbeat music?" Andre interrupted as he played some more fun music.

While all the toys were dancing, Jade went over to Robbie. "See that small bookshelf over there?" Robbie nodded. "Well near the shelf is Lane the Bear."

"What does he do?"

"He takes care of all the books and gives stupid advice. He often goes up to the table to talk to those toys. No one knows how he goes up there, but someone he gets up there. He doesn't let toys up there with him, but I'm sure he'll make an exception for damaged toys."

"Damaged?"

"Just go!" Jade pushed him toward the bookshelf and went back to dancing with Beck.

Robbie hobbled over to the bookshelf where a toy bear was reading a book on manners. "I could hear you approaching," Lane didn't bother looking up "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you could-"

Lane looked up at Robbie. "Say, you're a new toy. I'm Lane"

"Yeah, I'm Robbie, and I was wondering if-"

"Say no more," Lane started looking for books. "You're looking for a book on being true to yourself and standing up to negative people. It's not easy being a broken toy, not that I would know but-"

"Oh, I'm not broken; I was just made this way."

"Oh, well…well that's a different story entirely," Lane cleared his throat, "What can I do for you Robbie?"

"Well, I wanna visit the castle on the table and-"

"No," Lane interrupted.

"No?"

"Robbie, I only go up there for counseling purposes; to visit the lonely toys up there. Only I know the way up there and if I share my secret with you…no, it's too risky."

"Please. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"But you're disability might-"

"You like stories don't you? How 'bout stories of underdogs who've been told they can't do something because of something else overcoming the odds and proving everyone wrong. You say I can't get up there, well I can; you just gotta let me try."

"Well…you are a soldier toy. Alright, I'll let you in on my secret. You just can't tell or show anybody."

"Oh I promise I won't."

"Good," Lane found the weak spot in the back of the bookshelf and moved it just enough for him to pull out a rope ladder. "Pretty neat, huh?"

"Did Rex make that?"

"No. You see, there's a shed here at Rex's house with tools and rope. My friend Sikorat helped me build it. He stole the materials- sort of against my wishes, I'd prefer he ask for the materials- and climbed onto the table to get an idea of how big we needed to make it."

"Sikorat?"

"His real name is Sikowitz, but he's a rat. He prefers the nickname anyway, so if it makes him happy, I'll call him that. He's not well in the head, but he's helpful. Word of the wise, if you find yourself lost in the town or sewers, just shout out 'butternut'."

"Why not just call out Sikorat's name?"

"He's paranoid and thinks everyone's out to get him. Butternut is his 'safe word'." Robbie looked at him confused. "Yeah, don't ask." Lane cautiously looked around before he set up the rope ladder. "Why don't you go up first so I can show you what to do with the rope ladder after?" Robbie nodded and started climbing the rope ladder with ease because hey, just because he was missing a leg didn't mean he couldn't do what the other toys could do. Lane applauded this and climbed up after him. Once on the table, Lane rolled the rope back up. "Never leave it dangling for anyone to climb onto or steal."

"Why don't you let anyone come up here to play with the other toys?"

"Well, there are really only three toys up here and two of them are…well they're not the most favorites."

"How come?"

"One's a stalker and the other is self-absorbed."

"What about the other toy?"

"Oh, she enjoys company. She's very sweet and innocent but she doesn't mind me trying to make Trina and Sinjin's day better."

"Oh, the other toy is Cat! Tori told me about her."

Lane pointed to the castle. "She's over there now if you want to meet her. I'm gonna go work with Sinjin on his issues."

Now first impressions are sometimes a big deal. When Robbie saw Cat he saw that she was pretty, and cute, and most importantly to him she was standing on one leg. It's like she was made for him.

"It's like she was made for me," Robbie made his way over to the ballerina. Cat was leaned forward on one foot with her eyes closed as she hummed to the tune Andre was playing, so she was a little startled when Robbie introduced himself to her.

"Ooh, new toy!" Cat stood straight up, and on two legs. This slightly dismayed Robbie. "I'm Cat."

"I've heard about you. I'm Robbie."

"Oh, Robbie, you're-"

"I'm not broken."

"Oh." The music slowed a little bit. "Then maybe you'd like to dance."

"Dance?"

"I'll show you what to do." Cat started demonstrating some simple dancing, but being one-legged, it was hard for Robbie to dance. "Let's try something else." Cat positioned his arms. "You do have really steady arms for dancing. I'll teach you some easy things you can do while I do most of the dancing."

"Like what?"

"Well, you can dip me, spin me, lift me, or catch me."

"Gee, they all sound a little dangerous."

"They're not really," she demonstrated how to dip, spin, lift, and catch. "Robbie, there's a dance move I've never done that I'd like to try with you."

"Wow, sure."

"KK, I go back a few feet and run into your arms. The second I get into your arms, you lift me in the air without letting go, then you spin me, after that you throw me in the air and then you catch and dip me."

"Um…can I break you if I do that?"

"Maybe. KK, here we go."

"Uh Cat…maybe we could try that regular non-air spinny deal where-"

Too late, Cat was running. So she ran into his arms and told him to lift her and spin her, which he did. "KK, throw me."

"Um…okay," he did that too and fearing he wouldn't catch her, he was surprised when he actually did catch her. "That was kinda fun," he gently set her down in front of him.

"See, you're really strong and you can do that. I trusted you."

"You trusted me?"

"Yeah," they kept their eyes fixated on each other until they heard a whistle.

"Come on," Lane gestured for Robbie to leave.

Robbie held Cat's hands. "Cat, come with me."

She pulled away. "Robbie, as much as I want to, I can't. I have to stay up here until a human moves me back with the other toys."

"Then I'll come see you again."

"You will?"

"Yeah, it was fun playing with you." Cat giggled. "I gotta go," he hopped back over to Lane.

Lane looked at him, then Cat, then Robbie again. "What was that all about?"

"Huh?"

"You like her."

"I dunno, I can't help but feel like she was made for me."

"Robbie, you know she isn't."

"Yeah, I know." He sighed and climbed down the rope first.

As Cat went back to solo dancing, a Jack-in-the-Box with frizzy hair was watching. "Why can't I move like the other toys?" He tried to dance, but the giant box he was in got in the way. "I hate being in a box!"

"Oh shut up," the marionette beside him groaned. "You think I enjoy being up here listening to you constantly. Ugh, thank goodness that ditzy ballerina comes to talk to me. I hope someone cuts these strings sometimes so I could move and get out of here!"

"Am I really that bad?"

"Yes!"

"Wow, I like that you're honest with me." Trina growled. "Hey, did you get a good look at the guy Cat was dancing with?"

"Guy?"

"Yeah, he looked broken, but Lane said he wasn't."

"Ugh, broken toys are always the worst. They're nothing but garbage, and that's where they should be, in the garbage."

"But he wasn't broken."

"Shut up Sinjin!"

…

So Robbie would sneak up to the table every day to spend some time with Cat. As each day passed, yeah it was kinda obvious they both got a thing for one another and were falling for each other.

But someone else who had a thing for Robbie by this point (I mean come on he was an attractive soldier). Trina had developed a crush on him and decided she wanted him for herself.

On one particularly hot day, Rex was cleaning the playroom (not his choice). "I don't even use this dang room anymore, why do I have to clean it!" He lamented. "Better open the dang window," he opened the window which was conveniently by the table. "Maybe I should sell some of the stuff in here." And after doing basically nothing but moving things to the side, Rex left the room.

A few minutes later, Robbie used the rope ladder to climb onto the table to see Cat, but instead he was met by a giant box. "A box?"

Sinjin popped out of the box. "Hi, I'm Sinjin."

"Robbie. Listen, I was gonna meet someone so if you could…" Sinjin picked Robbie up with his giant hand. "Hey, let me go!"

"I was kinda asked to do this, so it's not my choice." Sinjin slid himself over to Trina. "Robbie, this is Trina."

"Hi, Robbie," Trina tried to sound flirty.

Sinjin set Robbie down and tried to get him closer to Trina. "Um…hi," Robbie waved. "Well, it was nice meeting you, but-"

"Oh no," Trina used some sort of gesture for Sinjin to pick Robbie up, "you are going to fall in love with me."

"Um…no thanks."

"But everybody loves me, and you're going to love me."

Robbie gritted through his teeth. "Yeah, listen Trina, you seem…honest, but I think I already love someone else and-"

"YOU WILL LOVE ME!"

"No thank you!"

Trina did both a growl and a scream. "Sinjin, throw him out the window!"

"Um, isn't that a little extreme?" Sinjin asked.

"DO IT!"

"Okay, okay!" Sinjin and his boxed bounced over to the window and prepared to drop Robbie. "Sorry Robbie, but Trina told me to do this."

Sinjin let go of him, but thankfully Robbie grabbed onto the window ledge with his arms. "HELP!"

The cries of help distracted the other toys down on the floor who were intrigued by the commotion. Not only were the floor toys focused on this, but so was the ballerina.

"CAT!" Beck called to Cat, who stood on the table where the bottom toys could see her.

Cat turned to see what was going on. "A toy is dangling out the window!"

"Which toy?"

"Please tell me it's Trina," Jade sarcastically hoped.

"Sinjin's blocking the way, I can't tell," Cat informed. "Take count of every toy down there."

"Got it!" Beck started looking over all the toys. "They're all down here."

"Wait," Tori looked around, "where's Robbie?"

"HELP!" Well, this answered the question.

"I dunno, but I think he might be dangling from the window," Andre replied with some humor, but nobody laughed. "Just thought I'd diffuse some tension, but even I am worried."

Cat ran to the window ledge where she saw him dangling. "Robbie, hold on!"

"Use the rope ladder!" Robbie yelled to her.

"The rope ladder," Cat went back to where Lane always put the rope ladder, but it wasn't there. "Robbie, the ladder isn't there!"

"This day just keeps getting better and better," he sarcastically commented.

Cat frantically looked around. "Sinjin," she caught the Jack-in-the-Box trying to leave the scene, "Sinjin where's the rope ladder?"

"I dunno I was just about to steal…I mean use it," Sinjin accidentally confessed.

"You did this to him?"

"It was Trina's idea!"

"It doesn't matter now! You're gonna help me save Robbie."

"This totally contradicts what I was told to do to begin with."

"SINJIN!"

"Okay, okay," Sinjin picked up Cat and tried to lower her to Robbie level.

"Robbie, take my hand, I'll pull you up," Cat instructed. Robbie let go of his left hand and Cat managed to grab a hold of him. "I'VE GOT HIM!" She called to Sinjin, "PULL ME UP!"

But Trina wasn't going to let them win. "INCOMING HUMAN!"

Sinjin stopped mid-pull. "Uh-oh," he brought himself back inside carrying Cat. Unfortunately, this maneuver caused Cat to let go of Robbie and Robbie fell onto the ground below. Times like this it was grateful to be on the first floor.

"Hey, there's no human," Sinjin observed.

"Oops, I lied," Trina rolled her eyes. "If Robbie won't be with me, no one will be with him."

"Trina, you meanie!" Cat ran over to Trina and started pounding on her.

"Hey, stop!" Trina noticed the (also very convenient) empty clear vase Rex forgot to take out of the playroom. "Sinjin, put Cat in that vase!"

"I think it's pronounced v-ah-s," Sinjin corrected.

"JUST DO IT!"

"Okay, okay," Sinjin moved Cat back to the castle and put the vase over her. "Sorry, Cat." He went over to Trina. "Now, can we have that conversation you promised, I did my part."

"Fine!"

The two bad guys struck up a conversation as Cat sunk to the floor and cried, all the while trapped in the vase.

…

It also started to rain. Which sucked for Robbie because he was outside in the street because houses in villages never had yards because it was a village, not a suburb. Anyway, the rain was too strong for him and the water on the ground was heading toward the sewer, and the water dragged Robbie to the sewer…

…where a bunch of hungry rats were waiting to eat him. Robbie also seemed to have forgotten about the rat he never met- well, wouldn't you forget little things like that if you were in a life or death situation. "Aw butternut!" Robbie said a little loudly to himself.

"Good Gandhi, someone called me!" A rat with weird hair distinguished himself from the others. "Why hello there soldier toy. You called for Sikorat."

"Help me, please!"

"Very well," Sikorat scurried over to the other side and jumped into the sewer water. "I hope you forgive me for what I have to do next," Sikorat bit Robbie's arm.

"OW!"

But, rats had strong teeth and Sikorat was able to carry Robbie out of the sewer. "You are safe from my fellow carnivorous brethren."

"I need you to help me get back to the playroom at Rex Powers' house."

"Why not? I've got nothing better to do anyway. Maybe they'll have non-dairy cheese."

"Um…sure. Can you take me to the playroom itself?"

"Of course, I know the hidden passageway us rats take," Sikorat snuck into the house and ran behind the kitchen table and behind the counters to a hole in the wall that he was able to take Robbie behind the bookshelf in the playroom. "That didn't take too long. Well, I'm off to get me the non-dairy cheese." He hurried back into the wall.

Robbie tried to go forward, but he tripped and landed on his face. He managed to get a good look at what he tripped on. "The rope ladder! Lane must've taken it back when I forgot to bring it up." He dragged out the rope ladder.

"Robbie," Lane noticed Robbie, "I thought you fell out the window. How did you get back?"

"You can thank Sikorat for that. Listen, I don't care what anybody says or if a human notices, I'm gettin' Cat and I'm bringing her down here with me and my other friends. Listen, Trina is evil-"

"Robbie, I already know that."

"Oh. Well, she got Sinjin to do what she said."

"Anyone can convince Sinjin to-"

"Okay, that's bothering me. Look, I'm going to get Cat. If I'm not back in two minutes, I need you, Tori, Andre, Beck, and Jade to come up and get me."

"How?"

"You're smart, figure it out."

"Why don't you just let me get the rope ladder back?"

"I don't wanna draw attention by calling for you when we need to get back down."

"That makes sense."

Robbie set up the rope ladder and climbed up onto the table. Pulling the rope ladder up, he cautiously looked around before heading to the castle where Cat was trapped.

"Who would wanna play with her over me?" Trina's sudden voice made Robbie hide. "I mean, wouldn't you Sinjin?"

Sinjin made a 'tsk' noise. "Well…"

"Sinjin," Trina glared.

"Cat's really nice and-"

"Sinjin!"

"-and you're hot."

"I know."

Robbie ran over to the castle where he discovered Cat. "Cat!" He tapped on the glass vase continuously until she looked up. Instantly, she perked up and ran over to the glass. "Hang on, I'm gonna get you outta there and take you back with the other toys." But of course, he couldn't lift the glass. "Cat, push the glass forward to the edge of the table so you can slip out."

"KK!" Cat started to push the glass forward with Robbie's assistance.

"Trina, is it me, or is the vase moving?" Sinjin pointed.

"Go stop it!" She ordered.

"Well, why can't you?"

"I have too many strings, something always gets tangled. I'm also lazy. Now go!"

"Fine," Sinjin made his way over to them just the vase was nearing the edge of the table. "Hey, Robbie, how'd you get back?"

"SINJIN!"

"Okay, okay!" Sinjin grabbed Robbie and prepared to drop him off the table.

It should be noted that Lane had gathered up the others and they had started to build a mountain of books to reach the top. But the pile was unsteady and because the guy toys went first, they made it to the top before the mountain started to collapse. Jade and Tori weren't hurt though, they got out of the way and tried to build the mountain again.

So no one could catch him when Sinjin dropped Robbie again. "Okay Trina, I did what you wanted."

"Good, now get rid of Cat," she commanded.

"Why?"

"Everyone seems to like her better. I'm the only one who should be liked."

"But Trina-"

"I'll kiss you if you do this!"

"But we're toys and-"

"SINJIN!"

"Okay, okay." Sinjin pushed the vase off of Cat.

Cat ran to the edge of the table where she saw Robbie standing upright on his own one leg. "Robbie, hold on, I'm coming!"

Sinjin picked her up as she turned around. "Listen, I'm sorry. I think you and Robbie are cool toys and all, but Trina's an evil dictator and I gotta do this so…why is my box moving?" Sinjin turned his head to see Beck, Andre, and Lane using their strength to push Sinjin off the edge, unaware that Cat was in his grasp. "Trina, help!"

"You can do it," Trina was too busy playing with her literal stringy hair to care.

"Whoa, guys don't do this! Maybe we could work something out! Come on!"

"Sinjin," Cat began, "if you get pushed off, does that mean I fall?"

"GUYS, WAIT, I'M-"

Too late, Sinjin was pushed off the table, along with Cat. While Sinjin fell to the ground with his box open, Cat quickly grabbed onto the table ledge with one hand. Andre and Beck ran to the ledge. "Cat," Beck held out his hand, "grab my hand with your free hand and we'll pull you up."

She felt her hand slip, "Beck, I'm slipping."

"Come on Cat, hurry!"

Cat tried to give her hand to Beck, but her hand did slip before Beck could reach her free hand and she started to fall, where it was certain she would break.

Nah, Robbie caught her before she could fall. "Robbie, you saved me!"

"Well, I couldn't let you break could I? We were made for each other."

Cat giggled and kissed his cheek as the other toys in the playroom surrounded him with applause and cheer.

"Hey, Rex is coming!" Tori warned. The toys hurried to their places (Cat going with Robbie) as Rex entered.

"Aw dang, something did break. Whenever something breaks it's my fault!" Rex lamented as he piled the glass together. "Looks like Jack fell out of his box. Maybe he could be a puppet now." Rex looked at the table. "I don't know why that guy just randomly gave us this marionette when we bought that toy angel." Rex picked up the marionette. "Ooh, maybe I'll sell it to a circus freak," he chuckled as he left with the marionette.

And from then on, everything was cool in the playroom.

**…**

"_And that's it," Robbie concluded._

"_You know," Jade began, "it wasn't that bad."_

"_You really think so?"_

"_No, I hated it."_

"_Ah."_

"_Well, I think it was pretty good," Tori complimented. "The story he told is pretty short and not very happy and I like that he was able to put a lot into it."_

"_When I tell or listen to a story, I like to think of it as a movie in my head. So I told it like I was going scene by scene of a movie. And the original story was kind of sad and short so I added some toy characters and put you all in it."_

"_I could not hate you anymore for making me Barbie," Jade remarked._

"_I said you were Barbie-like, LIKE_."

"_Why was I not in this story?" Sikowitz interjected._

"_Yes you were. You were Sikorat?"_

"_Was I? Hmm, I thought for some reason that was Festus."_

"_There are so many things wrong with you, dude," Rex insulted. "Yo Rob, it was decent."_

"_Coming from you Rex, that's nice," Robbie thanked his puppet._

"_Yeah, and I like how you rip-offed _Toy Story_," Andre commentated._

"_Okay, I didn't rip it off. I paid homage to it."_

"_Which is essentially the same as ripping it off."_

"_He's got a point there," Sinjin agreed. "Can you answer me one thing Robbie?" Robbie nodded. "Did I die in the story?"_

"_Sinjin," Lane began, "what did we talk about getting too involved with the story?"_

"_It was good!"_

_Lane sighed. "Yes, I agree Robbie is an interesting storyteller. But I can't help but wonder why Cat was the love interest."_

"_Yeah, and why was I the villain?" Trina questioned back. "You like me, not the other way around."_

"_Okay for the record," Robbie started, "I don't like you."_

"_I like you," Rex suggestively raised his eyebrows._

"_I only liked you that when time when you kissed me."_

"_I was acting!" Trina defended. "When are you gonna get over that?"_

"_Anyway, I never liked you."_

"_And yet in most of your fantasies Trina ends up liking you," Tori reminded._

"_Because she did!"_

"_But why was Cat the love interest?"_

"_Who else could be? Jade's dating Beck and you're dating Andre."_

"_We're not dating!" Tori and Andre protested in unison._

"_I notice you guys always hanging out and always being near each other. If you're not going out, you should."_

"_Who would give you the idea that they were going out?" Beck questioned._

_It was no secret when all eyes went on Trina. "Well they should," Trina stated._

_Beck shook his head. "Anyway Robbie, good job telling the story."_

"_Thanks Beck," Robbie thanked._

"_Kay now," Andre clapped, I got a story and I wanna-"_

"_What about Cat?"_

"_What about Cat?" Cat innocently questioned back._

"_Did you like my story?"_

"_I was a toy ballerina."_

"_Yeah."_

"_Was she a ballerina princess?"_

"_Why would you think that?"_

"_She lived in a castle."_

"_Um…sure."_

"_Yay!"_

"_Anyway," Andre pressed on, "my story is-"_

"_Wait, I have a story!"_

"_But-"_

"_Andre," Lane began, "I think it's best to let Cat tell her story next in case she forgets."_

"_What if she takes my story?"_

"_Cat, what story do you wanna tell?"_

"Little Red Riding Hood_," Cat smiled._

"_We did that one."_

"_Poo! Um…_The Princess and the Pea_."_

"_Did it," Jade spoke_

"The Three Little Pigs_?"_

"_Told it," Tori reminded._

"A Bug's Life_?"_

"_That's not a fairy tale," Beck informed._

"_Yeah," Andre was headed for the flashlight. "I'm gonna tell-"_

"THUMBELINA!"_ Cat randomly proclaimed._

"_No, it's-"_

"_I wanna tell _Thumbelina_."_

_Lane gestured for Andre to hand the flashlight to Cat. "Here," Andre groaned as he handed her the flashlight._

"_Yay! Okay, once there was a swan, but the swan was really a girl-"_

"_That's the _Swan Princess_," Tori corrected._

"_Which one's _Thumbelina_?"_

"_The girl the size of a person's thumb."_

"_Oh I know that one!"_

"_Then hurry up and tell the stupid story!" Jade impatiently requested._

"_KK!"_

* * *

><p><strong>I'm gettin' in the habit of telling people what the stories are ahead of time. Is that good or bad? Or does nobody care? Oh well, you know what the next one is.<strong>

**Yes, before you say anything the original story was sadder. In the end, the soldier dies in the fireplace (which I took out) and the ballerina sacrifices herself into the fire with him and they form a melted heart. Nice, but sad. Also, the ballerina in the original story was made of paper for some reason, and the villain was a troll. The soldier also did get sent down the sewer by two boys and their sailboat where he got past the rats and eaten by a fish for again some reason. The fish was then caught and sold and the mother/grandmother of the boy with the toys bought the fish and out came the soldier from the fish's mouth. To me, that seemed both weird and improbable but then again, it's a story so who was I to judge. There were no helpful rats or marionettes, or really anything having to do with Tori, Andre, Beck, Jade, and Lane. Plus there were more soldiers. And it never specified which leg was missing but I took off the left one because it's easier to function with the right leg if you ask me or my late grandmother who lost most of her right leg. But I wanted it to have a happy ending like Disney's **_**Steadfast Tin Soldier**_** (it was in **_**Fantasia 2000**_**).**

**Wow, I realize I also borrowed some stuff I put into another fairy tale rip off I did of this same story but **_**Leverage **_**style. Don't ask, but if you wanna read it, be my guest you can see what I ripped off from that (it's Nate/Sophie btw)**

**Yeah, so this was longer, but I hope it was worth the wait. Writer's block sucks and is preventing me from working on the finale to **_**Cyrano de Beck**_** (if you wanna check that out too).**

**Speaking of more fanfictions- LAST SHAMEFUL PLUG I SWEAR-, I'm working on a story collab w/ ashyboo02 called **_**Sarah Smiles**_** and I think it's off to a good start if anyone wants to check that out. By reading and reviewing that, you're complimenting her and me- though mostly her because it's her idea and her original characters. It's also fun to read a collab and try to guess which author did what so try to make a game out of that.**

**Okay, no more plugging. I hope this was adequate because it sure as heck was long. I also hope it was good. Oh, and I'm sorry if Jade using the term cripple offends anyone, I didn't mean for it too.**


	9. Cat's Version

**I have nothing of importance to say. I can say that I saw **_**Snow White a Tale of Terror **_**and I got freaked out a little bit (then again, the cartoon **_**Snow White**_** scares me more) but I loved it- especially the relationship between Lilli and Will btw. I also watched **_**Snow White: Fairest of them All**_** w/ Kristin Kreuk from **_**Smallville **_**as Snow White and Miranda Richardson as the evil queen Elspeth.**

**I should apologize for delay, but I tried to avoid fanfiction to try to cure writer's block (plus I've been catchin' up w/ other junk). That, and my all-time favorite show came back and the hype leading to it, and then hype after it, took up some time.**

**But this isn't a story of my favorite show, writer's block, delays, or even Snow White, this is Cat's story. So let us continue with it.**

* * *

><p>"<em>I wanna tell <em>Thumbelina_," Cat decided._

_Lane gestured for Andre to hand the flashlight to Cat. "Here," Andre groaned as he handed her the flashlight._

"_Yay! Okay, once there was a swan, but the swan was really a girl-"_

"_That's the _Swan Princess_," Tori corrected._

"_Which one's _Thumbelina_?"_

"_The girl the size of a person's thumb."_

"_Oh I know that one!"_

"_Then hurry up and tell the stupid story!" Jade impatiently requested._

"_KK!"_

**…**

Okay so once there was a guy named Lane who lived alone because…um…anyway he just lived alone. Lane was cool and all, people liked him and junk, but he was lonely because he lived alone.

One day a fairy person named Tori went over to Lane's home. "Hi," she greeted with a smile. She was wearing a sparkly pink dress, a wreath of pink flowers around her head, and had wings and a purple wand.

So Lane gave her a weird look. "Can I help you?"

"Actually, I'm here to help you."

"Um…are you sure you're not from up the river?"

"Maybe I should introduce myself."

"That would be a better start, yeah."

"I'm Tori, Princess of the Fairies."

"Princess of the Fairies, huh?" It seemed like Lane didn't believe her.

"And as Princess, I help grant wishes to good people- among other things-, and you're a good people Lane."

"I think the term is good person."

"Yeah, sure it is. Look if you wanna just stand there and correct my grammar I'll leave."

"Could you at least tell me what you're doing here?"

"Like I said, you're a good _person_ and I'm here to grant you your heart's desire."

"Really?"

"Again with the skepticism? Do you want a friend or not?"

"I have friends."

"Do you Lane? A friend is a constant companion who is always there for you and loves you for who you are. You sure you have one?"

"I suppose not."

"I worked out a deal with the king of the fairies and he'll bend the rules for me."

"How so?"

"Fairies can't create life, but the Fairy Council decided to make an exception for you. However, if I do it, there might be a small problem."

"Like what?"

"You'll see." Tori pointed her wand at Lane's table and POOF a flower pot appeared. "There you go!"

"My friend is a flowerpot?"

"Oh, right, sorry," she reached into her sparkly dress pocket. "Plant these seeds and water them and leave the plant near the window where the moon can shine on it and I guarantee by morning, you'll have your new friend."

"A flower?"

"Just trust me on this please." And right in front of Lane's eyes, Tori disappeared.

Lane went over to his door and locked it. "The last thing I need is another whackjob coming in here." Still, he felt that maybe after meeting Tori, something would happen. "Maybe it'll be a talking flower." He did what Tori wanted and left the flower in the window so the moon could shine on it and then he went to bed.

The next morning there was a pretty red flower in the pot. When Lane got up, he went over to look at it. "Hmm…nice."

"Hi!" The flower talked.

"Oh great, I was right. Hi…flower."

"No, I'm in the flower."

"What?"

"Open the petals."

"Well, alright," Lane opened one petal, and then the entire flower forced itself open revealing something in the center. "What the?" He gently poked whatever it was.

"Ow!" It was a really, really, really little person.

"Okay, I'm going crazy. First a normal size fairy princess comes into my house and leaves a flower pot that grows a really tiny human…"

"Cat."

"…who thinks she's a Cat."

"No, my name is Cat. I'm your friend." Cat made a frowny face. "Do you not wanna be my friend?"

"No, I do, really; it's just…a little strange because of your…"

"…size?"

"I was gonna say age. You were basically born and you look like a teenager. Size doesn't matter."

"Yay!"

"Speaking of age, are you a teenager or what?" Cat shrugged. "Well, I suppose it's easier to befriend a teenager than it is a baby."

Cat gasped with delight. "I love babies!"

"You do?"

"Yeah, but they're always bigger than me."

"Tell me," Lane laid his hand out in front of her and Cat jumped onto it, "how do you know about things? You were again just born and you can understand everything."

"Tori must've gave me a brain too."

"Next time I see her I'll ask her how this works." Lane looked at her. "Gee, you're no bigger than my thumb."

"You're bigger than your thumb."

"Well I would hope so."

"What should we do Friend? Or do I call you Mother?"

"Lane, call me Lane."

"I'm Cat."

"I know."

…

Cat and Lane became really good friends. Lane even made her a bed out of a walnut (good thing she wasn't allergic to walnuts) and she slept by the window across from the table. Every night, Lane would read her a story before bed. But lately, the stories were kinda sucky.

"What should I read you tonight?" Lane asked.

"Lane, are there any books on little people?"

"There's _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_."

"We read that, and you said they're not little."

"I didn't say that- by definition they are little- I said they're not your size. They're smaller than the average human, but they're much bigger than you."

"Are there stories about people my size?"

"Not that I know of."

"Poo!"

"I have heard stories about fairies when I was little. I don't know what size they are for sure but my mother did say they were tiny."

"Tell me a story about the fairies please."

"They're fairies, the end."

"Lane!"

"That's really all I know about them. Satisfied?"

"No, but I suppose I gotta be."

"Good. I'm gonna get to bed, you should do the same."

"But I'm not tired."

"Then…I'll leave the book open for you to read it." He kept the book opened and placed it by her walnut bed. "Goodnight Cat."

"Goodnight Lane." She waved goodnight to him as she stood on the pages of the book- which was really big to her- and tried to read.

But when she was trying to read, there was tapping noises on the window by the table, and she slept on the table 'cause there was only one room and that was Lane's. Kinda scared, she turned around and saw something really cool to her; there was a guy her size knocking on her window standing next to a bumblebee. Cat ran to the window, which was always open a crack for her, and pushed it open a bit so she could step outside and talk to the guy. "I'm kinda…sorta…lost," he nervously confessed.

"Man, I told you you was leadin' me in the wrong direction," the bumblebee talked back.

"Rex!"

Instead of giggling at the funny bumblebee insulting the guy, Cat was in a sort of shock as she went over to him. "You're my size!"

"Yeah."

"Are you a fairy?"

"Well yeah, are you?"

"No, I'm just…small."

"Sucks to be you," Rex insulted.

"Rex, be nice!" the fairy guy turned back to Cat. "Rex and I were on our way home from the Northern Ridges and I think we made a wrong turn somewhere. So I was wondering if you could help us find our way back to the fairy kingdom."

"Why did you knock on my window then?" Cat questioned.

"He was desperate," Rex retorted back with a mean sounding chuckle.

The fairy sighed. "Yeah, I was. This was the first place I came to after searching forever. I thought it would be wise to see if anyone was home before I knocked on the window. Oh, I don't think we've been introduced; I'm Robbie." He held out his hand.

"I'm Cat," Cat shook his hand. "Are we friends now?"

"Robbie with a friend," Rex chuckled.

"Rex!" Robbie seemed embarrassed.

"Your bumblebee's mean," Cat commented.

"He's really not that bad. Hey since we are kinda friends now, do you wanna ride on him with me?"

"He won't be mean or anything?"

"He shouldn't be. Come on," Robbie helped Cat onto his bumblebee before he sat in front of her. "This'll be fun, trust me."

"Do I even get a say in this?" Rex inquired.

Cat looked around. "Um…is there anything I could hold onto back here?"

Robbie looked around. "Guess not. But if you get scared you can hold onto me or something."

Rex scoffed. "What girl in her right mind would-"

"Rex, be nice. So Cat, a few things you should know when riding a bumblebee is-"

"Enough of this chiz," Rex zoomed off, scaring both of the people, and was flying kinda dangerous like with purpose rocking. "Hey Rob, ready for the drop and catch?"

"You bet," Robbie took a quick glance at Cat. "Get your wings ready, here comes the fun part."

Cat looked all confused and stuff. "I don't have any wings."

"You don't?"

"Do I need them?"

"Oh boy! Rex, don't-"

"Here we go," Rex started to go upside down like on a roller coaster. This wasn't good for Cat because she just went falling and was gonna land in a pond.

Thankfully, Robbie had wings, and he was able to fly down and catch her before anything really bad happened. "REX!" He shouted back to his bee.

"How was I supposed to know the girl didn't have wings?"

Robbie flew Cat down onto a nearby lily pad. "Are you okay?" She nodded. "That was kinda scary, huh?"

Cat was all perky and junk. "No it was fun!"

"It was? Well, wanna do it again?"

"KK!"

So they were having fun playing together with Robbie's bumblebee and it was so much fun that none of them wanted to go back to their homes. "Geez, it's getting late," Robbie escorted her onto his bumblebee and they flew back to her place. "I had fun."

"Me too."

"And we're friends now too, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Wow, I have a friend who's a girl."

"We'll see how long this lasts," Rex muttered.

Robbie ignored him. "Will I see you again?" Cat nodded. "Great! I'll come by tomorrow and we'll hang out some more."

"KK!" They waved goodbye to each other as Cat went back inside to sleep.

…

When Cat woke up the next morning, it was all weird. She wasn't on Lane's table in her walnut bed...well she was in her bed, but her bed wasn't on the table. Cat was on a lily pad in some sort of pond or something. "Is anybody there? Hello? I can't swim!"

"Hey, you're up," a toady looking toad was across from her. "Wow, you are pretty."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Sinjin; I do all the work for my friend's show."

"I'm Cat; I'm small."

"You're also pretty."

"How did I get here?"

"My friend Trina saw you with some guy last night and followed you home and kidnapped you so she could force you to work for her show and be my girlfriend…but mostly the show."

"I can't be your girlfriend!"

"I told her you had a boyfriend."

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Then can I be your boyfriend?"

"You're too desperate," another toad-person-thing hopped over to Sinjin, "and why aren't you working on my stage?" Sinjin went away.

"Are you Trina?" Cat asked.

"Duh, everyone knows who I am."

"I don't."

"Well, now you do, and now you can love me just as much as everyone else. Listen, that loser helps me with my show. My show tours all over and we could use someone attractive- though not as attractive as me- and with thumbs to help with things."

"But Trina-"

"Now that we've established what you're sole purpose is, it's only looking after my best interest by the way, I promised Sinjin that I'd find a girl who could be his girlfriend."

"But I can't be his girlfriend."

"Yeah, everyone says that. Listen, we're gonna go test drive our showboat, you wait here...like you have any other options."

Once Trina was left, Cat was alone. "La, la, la," she was trying to pass time. "I'm sitting here…and I'm singing…and I'm bored…I wanna go home."

"Where's your home?" The new voice was a voice of a fish.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Beck the bass," heh, Beck the bass is a funny name, "I heard you saying you wanna go home. I thought maybe I could help you. Where's your home?" Cat shrugged. "Well, is it on land?"

"I guess so."

"Stay on the lily pad and I'll drive it toward land."

"KK! I'm Cat."

"How did you manage to get onto a lily pad in the middle of a pond?"

"Trina the toad kidnapped me," heh, that was a funny name too.

"Oh, Trina. I guess I'm doing you a favor by taking you back, huh?"

"I guess."

"Hey, didn't I see you falling from the sky yesterday night? You know, before some bird-guy caught you."

"That was my friend Robbie and we were playing. He's a fairy."

"I should've known; most people your size are fairies."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it means."

"KK!"

So Beck the bass drove the lily pad to land and it held still as Cat got onto the ground. "I hope you find your home."

"Thanks, I hope you don't get caught on a fisherman's hook!" Cat waved bye as Beck went back into the pond.

…

So Cat tried really, really hard to find her home, but she had a really hard time finding it. It was kinda bad that she never really went outside so she wasn't sure what the outside of Lane's house looked like. Still, she kept looking, even when it started to snow. But then it started to snow so big that she got trapped in a snowball.

Luckily, there was a mouse lady who lived nearby and led Cat to her mouse home in the underground. This mouse was also smart enough to build a fire and sit Cat next to. "Snow doesn't really fall underground here," the mouse lady told her. "What were you doing out in that weather anyway?"

"I'm lost, I was trying to go back home," Cat told the mouse.

"To the fairy kingdom?"

"I'm not a fairy."

"Good, I hate fairies."

"Why does everyone think I'm a fairy?"

"Fairies are your size, humans…no, they're not."

"Well, I'm not a fairy."

"Good, I hate fairies."

"You already said that."

The mouse handed her some hot chocolate. "Drink the hot chocolate."

"KK!"

"So you're a human? I hate humans too. And don't ask me how I got the ingredients to make hot chocolate. Do you have a name or do I just call you girl or something?"

"I'm Cat."

"I hate that name."

"What's your name?"

"Not that it's any of your concern, but it's Jade."

"That's a pretty name."

"I hate it. So, if you don't live with the fairies, where do you live?"

"I live in a house with my friend Lane."

"How did you end up here?"

"A toad kidnapped me, then a fish led me to land, and from then on I've been trying to get home."

"Fascinating," for some reason Jade rolled her eyes and said what she said kinda mean-like. "Why would a toad kidnap you anyway?"

"I was playing with my friend and she kidnapped me to help work for her shows and stuff."

"You were playing with a friend near toads? Why do I even care? Listen, I gotta go drop off some food to my rich neighbor; wanna come with?"

"Yay, an adventure!"

"Hey, when you get some food from him, can you feed the bird?"

"Bird?"

"Yeah some bird got hit with something and fell through Sikomole's roof."

"Sikomole?"

"My neighbor Sikowitz is a mole, I call him Sikomole."

"Ooh, creative."

They walked down a path-like thing until they came across a door (don't ask, it was just there). Jade opened the door. "Sikomole, I'm here!"

"Enter my dwelling and reveal thyself!" Sikomole called.

"It's me you idiot!"

"Ah Jade, good to hear from you."

"I brought someone."

"Ooh," Sikomole came forward. He was a mole with really messy hair and he wore colorful clothes. "A fairy visitor."

"She's not a fairy."

"Good, fairies frighten me. If she's not a fairy, then what is she?"

"A human."

"Good Gandhi!"

"She's unharmed."

"Excellent!"

Cat giggled. "I'm Cat."

"Funny, I thought you were a human."

Jade groaned. "Her name is Cat you dumba-"

"We could do without the name calling Jade, we have company. Tell me Cat, do you like to read?"

"I love reading!" Cat smiled.

"And how do you feel about fairy tales."

Cat gasped with delight. "They're my favorite!"

"I suppose they are entertaining. Come, let us read," Sikomole struggled to open a giant book. "I don't know what this is a book of, but it occupies my time."

And so Sikomole and Cat read while Jade cut things with her fingers. "Hey Cat," Jade interrupted, "remember that bird I mentioned? Why don't you go feed him some broth or something?"

"KK!"

"And don't ask me where I got the broth." Jade thrusted a homemade bowl with a homemade spoon at Cat and told her where to find the bird.

Cat walked alone back on the path in between Jade and Sikomole's house places and went where she had to go. When she went where she had to, she found a bird lying up against the wall with pieces of cloth over his wing. "Aww, poor guy," Cat went over to wake him up. "Wake up birdy!"

The bird started to wake up. "Great, someone new. Let me guess, you're a fairy."

"Nope!"

"Then you must be one tiny human, with really long red hair. Imma call you Little Red."

"My name's Cat."

"I still like Little Red. I'm Andre."

"Do I call you Big Bird?"

"Andre is fine."

"Andre, why does everyone think I'm a fairy?"

"Fairies are like humans except they're your size and have wings. I'm friends with a few, especially the princess of the fairies."

"What's she like?"

"She's like the nicest creature I've ever met and she has like every magical power I can think of. She can change her size, her species, and do a whole buncha other stuff."

"Like what?"

"I dunno."

Cat shrugged this off. "When do you think you'll be able to fly away?"

"As soon as it gets warmer out."

"What are you gonna do til then?"

"Stay here I guess. You're the nicest one out of everyone here, will you keep me company?"

"I don't know; I really wanna go home."

"Well, if you want I can take you home when I get better."

"You will?"

"Sure Little Red."

"Oh thank you Andre!" Cat hugged his injured wing. When she heard Andre groan in pain, she let go. "Sorry."

…

For the entire snowy season, Cat stayed with Jade, Sikomole, and Andre and made friends with all of them. Out of them, Andre was her favorite friend and not just because he promised to take her home, but because he was all nice to her and they had fun talking.

"Spring's almost here," Andre was talking to her. "And my wing feels so much better."

"So you'll be able to take me home soon?" Cat asked with excitement.

"You bet Little Red. If you want, we can leave tonight."

"We could?"

"Yeah, do you want to?"

"I'd love to…but Jade and Sikomole wanna talk to me about something."

"Aw who needs them; it's probably not important. Hey, if you want I can take you to visit the fairies and you can meet Princess Tori. Maybe Robbie's there too."

"I do miss Robbie, he's really fun. But Jade and Sikomole helped take care of me; I should listen to what they say before I go. You should make sure you can fly and tell the fairy princess about me."

"That sounds like a better idea. I'll be back in a while." Andre flew away.

"Bye!" Cat kept on waving until she couldn't see him and then she went to visit Jade and Sikomole. "Hi guys!" She sat in front of them. "What's up?"

"Sikomole wants you to marry him," Jade just said kinda random.

Cat started to laugh. "That's so funny," she kept laughing.

"As funny as it sounds," Sikomole started to laugh, "I'm sorry, I was thinking of something irrelevant. But in all seriousness, I wish to marry you."

"I can't marry you!"

"Why not? I live underground away from danger, I'm rich, and Jade can get you whatever you need."

"Just don't ask me how," Jade glared.

"But Sikomole, you're so…old. You're like a hundred!"

"I'm thirty-four," Sikomole corrected. "Cat, it's better if you stay down here where we'll be able to take care of you…did I mention I'm rich."

"Sikomole, I-"

"Are you in love with someone else? If you are, that's an entirely different matter."

"I…I'm not sure…I guess, but…I don't know."

"What does love have to do with marriage anyway?" Jade sounded kinda mean with her question. "Half of the marriages are loveless anyway."

"Sikomole and I are different species?"

"So? Change is a good thing. Just marry the mole and live adequately ever after."

"But I wanna live happily ever after."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

"Can you give me some time to think about this?"

"I suppose," Sikowitz told her. "But not for too long, our wedding is tomorrow afternoon."

"Tomorrow?"

"The sooner the better if you ask me."

"Best way to get things over with," Jade agreed. "So don't think too long."

Cat left Sikomole's home and went to the place where Andre stayed until he flew away. When she went in there, she was all sad and started to cry. She looked up at the hole Andre had escaped from. "Andre, where are you?"

…

Apparently Andre got distracted by another bird and he forgot about Cat. This was kinda wonky for Cat because she had to marry Sikomole. "I really don't wanna do this," Cat said to Jade.

"Suck it up." Jade led Cat to the room where Andre stayed. Now Sikomole was standing in the center of the room with a squirrel dressed like a preacher lady. A bunch of other small random animals were there too. "Don't ask me where I found these animals."

"KK." Jade made Cat stand across from Sikomole.

"Hello Cat," Sikomole greeted to Cat. "And hello Helen," Sikomole said to the preacher lady.

"Hmm-hmm," Helen looked at Sikomole like he did something bad. "Dearly beloved we're here to marry this mole and this…fairy."

"I'm not a fairy," Cat corrected.

Helen shrugged. "If there's anyone here who has a reason why these two should not be married- repeat NOT be married- speak now or forever hold their peace."

A beetle raised their hand. "I have a reason!"

Jade glared at the beetle. "Who cares what you think? You're a dumb beetle anyway."

The beetle changed into a person Cat's size. "Beg to differ?"

"Who are you?"

"My name is Tori; I'm the fairy princess," the animals bowed to her.

"Ooh, royalty at my wedding," Sikomole seemed excited by this. "Does that make it a royal wedding?"

"Fairy princess, schmary princess," Jade wasn't impressed. "You weren't invited, leave."

"You don't like me, do you?" Tori questioned with a smile.

"What was your first clue Sherlock? Now leave."

"If my magic could do terrible things I would do something mean to you. But since it can't, I suppose I'll do this," Tori sprinkled some dust on Jade and then Jade became a human fairy.

But she didn't seem too happy about that. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?"

"My magic does positive things so something good will happen to you because of this magic."

"I'm wearing PINK! If you're going to make me a fairy at least dress me in black!"

"Bossy, aren't we." Tori changed Jade from a pink dressed fairy to a black dressed fairy. "Cat, I'm here to take you home."

"Yay!" Cat ran over to Tori and gave her a hug. "Do I click my shoes together or something?"

Tori shook her head no. "Just stand there and let me do the work." Tori sparkled dust on Cat and Cat magically transported back to Lane's house.

"Ooh, she even brought back my walnut bed." Cat looked around. "Lane, hi!" She waved to Lane until he turned around.

"Cat, you're back!" He went over to here. "Where have you been all this time?" Cat told him her long story all over. "Wow, that's very descriptive…and long."

"I missed you Lane."

"I missed you too, Cat. Would you like to read or something?"

"Actually, I'm pretty tired. I think I'll go to bed."

"I'm gonna close the window to be safe." He looked out the window. "Spring is almost here you know." Cat smiled at him. "Good night Cat."

"Night Lane," Cat pulled her blanket close and dreamed.

…

Cat was happy to be back with Lane; Lane was her friend and all. But she had made more friends on her adventure and now she didn't see them anymore and she missed them, even Sikomole, but she especially missed Robbie. Robbie was her first friend besides Lane, and Robbie was her size so they could do more things than she and Lane could (plus Lane was old). So even though Cat was home, she was all sad and stuff.

One night when she should've been sleeping, there was a tap on her window. Running to the window with high hopes, standing on the other side was a different male fairy. "I can't open the window!"

"Then maybe I should come in," the fairy guy was standing inside now. "Nice to see you again Cat?"

"Beck?"

"Cool, huh?"

"Wow, what happened?"

"I saved a fairy from drowning and he rewarded me by asking the fairy princess to turn me into a fairy. Best decision ever, huh?"

"I wouldn't know."

"Well I wanted to do something nice for that guy who convinced Princess Tori to turn me into a fairy because not only did his convincing somehow work, but because of him I inadvertently met my girlfriend."

"Ooh, fun!"

"I asked him what he wanted, and he said he didn't think I got get him what he really wanted. Then I asked what would make him happy, he was still being a little vague. However his bumblebee told me what would make him happy."

"Bumblebee?"

"I think you can put the pieces together from there."

"No."

"Cat, it's Robbie."

"No, the bumblebee is Rex."

Beck sighed. "I want to get you and Robbie back together."

"You do?"

"He really misses you. He tried searching for you, but when it got cold, he had to go back to the fairy kingdom and wait for spring. As soon as spring came, he was gonna start searching again."

"He's so sweet."

"I thought I'd save him the trouble and surprise him. Tori told me where to find you."

"I like Tori, she's nice."

"Tori's the total opposite from Jade."

"Oh yeah, Jade's a fairy too." Cat smiled. "Is she girlfriend?"

"Really, you could figure that out from context clues?"

Cat clapped with delight. "You're dating Jade!"

Beck sighed. "Look, Princess Tori wants me to bring you to her so you can make a decision." Beck waved his hand and he and Cat were inside a castle. "Here she is Princess," he flew away.

"Hello again, Cat," Tori smiled.

"Hi!"

"You're not happy are you Cat?"

"Not really. I mean it's nice to be home, but I miss all of my new friends. Lane is more protective now so I can't really go anywhere. He's really lonely and I guess he needs me."

"But what about you, are you lonely?" Cat nodded. "That's why I had Beck bring you here. I'm willing to make your dream come true."

Cat gasped with delight. "You'll turn me into a fairy?"

"But if you become a fairy, you have to stay here in the fairy kingdom."

"That means Lane will be all alone again."

"You can visit him often, but your permanent home will be here. Would you like to become a fairy?"

"I would but..." Cat had an idea. "I have an idea."

"You do?"

"It'll make everybody happy."

"What's your idea?" Cat went over to Tori and whispered her idea. "That does sound like a good idea. Is this what you really want?"

"Yep!"

"Okay." Tori sprinkled fairy dust onto Cat. "Well, I guess I better go turn Sikomole human and introduce him to Lane. Oh, and Cat…"

"Yeah, Tori?" Tori waved goodbye to her and then both Tori and the castle were gone. Cat was standing on top of a flower. "Tori?" She looked around. "Um…Tori? Anybody?" She sat on the flower. "La, la, la…I'm singing...on a flower…I'm all confused…I'm on a flower-"

"Cat?"

She turned around. "Robbie!"

He flew down beside her. "Cat, it's so great to see you! I've missed you like crazy and…" Cat kissed him. "…and I guessed you missed me too." She playfully hit him and flew away. "Tag, you're it."

"Oh yeah?" He flew after her and tried to tag her back.

So Robbie and Cat stayed best friends forever, Beck and Jade got married in a fairy wedding, Lane and Sikowitz were roommates, and even Trina and Sinjin got together. And in the end, everyone was all happily ever after.

**…**

_Cat shrugged with pep. "And that's the end."_

"_Wow that was terrible," Jade muttered._

"_Jade," Lane scolded. "Given Cat's…abilities to tell coherent stories this is a major improvement."_

"_It was still terrible."_

_Beck playfully hit his girlfriend. "It wasn't that bad."_

"_I agree," Tori agreed. "It had all the elements and imagination that should be put into a fairy tale suitable for all ages. Sure some of it could've been structured better, but it was pretty good nonetheless."_

"_Why do you people keep putting me with Sinjin?" Trina lamented. "Is it just because I complimented him when I found out Foon-Yi bleached his feet too? God, never say anything nice to freaks."_

"_I'm glad they got together," Sinjin disagreed._

"_Earth to Sinjin, get back to reality!"_

"_But reality's so real."_

_Sikowitz raised his hand. "I must question why I wasn't featured in the story, but only mentioned at the end."_

"_Dude, you was the mole!" Rex snapped back._

"_The name was Sikomole," Robbie added._

"_I guess from now on we only call him Sikowitz in a story," Lane suggested._

"_Yeah, whatever," Rex looked at Cat. "So far you have been the only one to accurately portray my relationship with Robbie. I give you credit."_

"_Wow, that wasn't mean," Cat clapped with delight._

"_Yeah, yeah, your story was good," Andre reached for the flashlight. "Now before anyone else talks, I would like to-"_

"_Robbie didn't say what he thought," Beck pointed out._

"_Aw noodles!"_

"_Yeah Robbie, what did you think?" Cat inquired with optimism._

_Robbie shrugged. "I thought it was good."_

"_Good," Andre took the flashlight. "Now-"_

"_Wait," Tori interrupted, causing Andre to groan, "you thought it was just good?"_

"_Yeah."_

_Jade even seemed sort of ticked by that. _"_She put you as the male love interest and you think it's just good?"_

"_I wasn't a 'love interest' our characters were just friends. Why are you making a big deal out of it?"_

"_Well, you put Cat as the love interest in your story!" Trina reminded_

"_Because she was more suited for the ballerina and compared to the rest of you gals, I get along with her the best so why not give her the female lead."_

_Rex chuckled. "Robbie as a fairy, that's sayin' somethin," he chuckled again._

"_Let's get off this subject," Lane turned to Andre. "Andre, tell us your story."_

"_Thank you," and Andre began to tell his story._

* * *

><p><strong>I was really trying to make it seem like Cat was narrating the story. I hope I did that well; don't be afraid to comment on that feedback is good.<strong>

**Another reason for delay was that **_**Thumbelina **_**came on Netflix so I decided to watch it a few times and take key plots from that and put it into here. I also came to the realization that characters Jodi Benson voices in an animated movie tend to rush into relationships with princes they just meet and they get married and live happily ever after- namely _Thumbelina _and _Little Mermaid_. Though I gotta give credit for Cornelius, he actually went searching for her while Eric said he was gonna look for his mystery girl but in actuality he didn't search for her because she was always right in front of him. Plus Cornelius sings (pretty good) so bonus points for that.**

**Wow, I watch too much animated fairy tales. What can I say? I grew up with it.**

**So, I hope this was good, sorry for the delay, blah, blah, blah. Hopefully writer's block won't strike me so hard next time.**


	10. Andre's Fairy Tale Equivalent

**Back in the habit of not telling you the next fairy tale- (cuing Nelson Muntz laugh) HA HA! I also got in the habit of delaying, not my choice- blame the holiday season- so sorry about that too.**

**Backstory on this one: the title character in this story is animal and I debated whether or not to make him human or not. Then I thought maybe it wouldn't be a good idea making him human (I'll give a better explanation why after the story in case you can't figure it out). And then I rediscovered Canon Movie Tales Series where they did do a version of this story starring Academy Award Winner Christopher Walken. It was kinda weird, particularly when Walken sings and dances. **

**I also contemplated the pairing in this story- between Cabbie and Bade. In the end I chose Bade. Why? I haven't used enough of them and given the serious lack of Bade in the Christmas episode (loved it, but I was hoping one of my fave couples would get caught under the mistletoe) and this story, I'm choosing them.**

**Hey, when we get done w/ Andre's story, we'll have 2 left. Feel free to make guesses as to who's telling what.**

* * *

><p><em>Lane turned to Andre. "Andre, tell us your story."<em>

"_Thank you," and Andre began to tell his story._

**…**

In some kingdom a long time ago, there lived a farmer guy who raised three orphan kids on his farm. The first orphan kid was Sinjin. Sinjin was weird, he smelled bad, and…dude was all around creepy. The second one was Robbie. Now sure Robbie was awkward, but he was still pretty cool…but also seriously clumsy. The third one was Beck, and he was the more normal one. This farmer guy preferred to live off the land and let nature do whatever it had to do. So when the farmer got really sick, he didn't go see the kingdom doctor and died from whatever killed him.

The three guys sat in the living room as the kingdom oddball lawyer Sikowitz read over the farmer's will. "…and so on and so forth. Now, let's get down to who gets what." He cleared his throat and read what the dead farmer had written. "_To Sinjin, I leave the farm_ _and the house_."

"But the farm kinda is the house," Sinjin commentated.

"That's not my problem," Sikowitz looked back at the will as a chicken walked across him. "_To Robbie, I leave you all the money and jewels_."

"Really?" Robbie smiled.

"_Yeah, it ain't much, kid_. And I'm not sayin' that personally, he really wrote it."

"Figured."

"_And to Beck, I leave you the most important thing I have to leave_…_my Puss_."

"His what?" All the boys were confused by this.

Sikowitz turned to the second page of the will. "Oh, Puss is the cat."

"The cat?" Beck seemed upset by that. "You sure he didn't leave it to Sinjin?"

"It clearly reads, _'Beck gets Puss the cat'._" Sikowitz prepared to leave. "Well, that's that then. I'll leave you boys to your grievin' and what not."

"I got the cat?" As if it was on cue, a black cat leapt onto Beck's lap. "This cat doesn't even belong to us!"

"Yeah, well at least he left you something good," Robbie defended. "I'd rather have the cat."

"Me too," Sinjin agreed. "This farmhouse is a dump."

"Yeah, and Sinjin has to take care of the farm, house, and animals."

"Except for the cat," Beck bitterly replied.

"If you want, I can let you guys stay here with me," Sinjin suggested. "I mean, I don't think I can take care of all this by myself."

"And I can pawn the jewels left to make some more money to help take care of us," Robbie added.

"And the cat," again, bitterness in Beck's tone as the black cat beside him just stood there looking all innocent and cute.

"Come on, let's go to market," Robbie led the brothers to the nearby market.

As Beck examined some stuff in the market, he noticed the cat kept following him. "Get away from me," he tried to kick the cat away, but the cat came back. "Needy little bugger," Beck tried to ignore the cat, but the cat was at his side. "You're not gonna go away are you Puss?" Beck sighed. "Fine, let's look for something to eat."

"Meow," the cat hurried over to the vendor nearby selling shoes.

"Stupid cat," Beck ran over to the stand where the cat was sniffing a pair of boots. "They're just stupid boots." He scooped the cat up and led him away, but the cat escaped his grasp and went back to the boots. "Puss!"

The vendor, Lane, laughed at this. "Little fella seems to like these boots."

"I guess," Beck shrugged.

"You want 'em?"

"I don't have any money."

"Please, I've been trying to get rid of these boots for years but no one wants them. You can take them if you want."

"I don't."

"That's what they all say."

"But I'll take them off your hands and…give them to my cat."

"That's gotta be one of the weirdest excuses I've ever heard." Still, Lane took the boots and handed them to Beck. "You can still have them for whatever reason."

"Thanks," Beck took the boots and Puss started to excitedly follow Beck through the market.

Sinjin and Robbie met up with Beck and took notice of the boots. "Dude, we agreed to buy food and important stuff!" Robbie pointed out.

"I didn't buy these."

Sinjin gave him a funny look. "Wow, I figured if you'd steal something it'd be food and not shoes."

"Two things: one, these are boots. And two, I didn't steal these. The vendor was trying to get rid of them so he gave them to me."

"I can see why he tried to get rid of those boots."

"Yeah, those things are awful," Robbie commented. "I didn't think you were the kind of guy to like that stuff."

"The boots aren't for me," Beck then regretted saying that statement aloud. Sinjin and Robbie exchanged confused glances. "Can we just go home now?"

"Yeah, about our home," Sinjin rubbed the back of his neck with some nervousness. "I just sold our farmhouse house thing."

"YOU DID WHAT?"

"This guy made a good offer."

"But where will we live?"

"He agreed to let us stay with him if we'd be willing to do all the work for no pay."

Beck did one of those disbelief laughs. "You know what, no! I think it's about time we all left that farm anyway. I'm sure we'll find someplace to stay; right Rob?" Robbie looked down on the ground. "Robbie?"

"I kinda agreed to stay with Sinjin," Robbie confessed.

"What?"

"You know he doesn't do well in the company of other people."

"Neither do you!"

"We don't want to do this anymore than you do, but…we kinda, sorta, gotta do this."

"Well I'm getting out there to find a better life. And if by some miracle I do, I'll come back for you guys."

"That means a lot to us knowing you care somewhat."

"You guys are my family. I promise if I find someplace better, I'll come and find you guys."

"Thanks Beck."

"See you guys," they gave each other man hugs and Beck went off in the opposite direction, Puss following. "I guess it's nice to know you'll stick with me you stupid cat." Puss looked up at him and meowed. "I'll find a better place, you'll see."

…

Beck didn't find a better place. When it got darker out, he hid himself and the cat in someone's barn. "This'll do for tonight, huh Puss?" He finally set the boots on the ground. "I'm not gonna be a farmhand all my life, I'm gonna make a name for myself." He noticed Puss go over to the boots. "You really like them boots, huh?" The cat put a front paw in the boot and right before Beck's eyes, he transformed into a human. "Holy moly."

"Yeah, they actually fit," the human Puss tried to walk on two legs, but failed. "Dang, two legs ain't as easy as you humans make 'em out to be."

"Puss, is that you?"

"You know, I never really did like that name. Can we think of something better to call me? I always liked the name Greg. Yeah, call me Greg."

"I'd rather not."

"Oh. Well, you're my master, I guess you should be able to call me whatever you want."

"So…you're a human?"

"Yeah. See, years ago I really got this witch mad and I was ready to fight her. So I was taking off my boots, when that sneaky skunkbag turned me into a cat. I'm like all freaking out when I accidentally put my paw in the boots and I'm human again. This witch gets all moody and then she uses her magic to make me unconscious, take away my boots for good, and leave me as a black cat in the deep, dark woods."

"That sucks."

"I figured once I found my boots, I could become human again. I tried looking everywhere and when I found out that your kingdom's village had somehow gotten the boots, I made my way over here. But I needed a place to stay for the time being and the farmer was the only one nice enough to take in a black cat. So I said to myself once I become human, I'll pay him back somehow."

"I wish you could've, he was a good guy."

"But you were the one who got me my boots."

"Technically-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I know you didn't actually do anything; but you were still willing to let me follow you. The farmer did leave you to me, didn't he?" Beck nodded. "I was also a bit upset because you were kind of a jerk calling me stupid cat and what not. Then you said that to your friends, and I thought maybe you're not a jerk after all."

"I really do wanna get a better life for all of us…even you."

"I know. That's why, I'm gonna get you the better life you deserve."

"Really?"

"You got me the boots."

"I didn't technically-"

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Yeah…but how are you gonna help me?"

"I know people. Let's just crash wherever we can at night and during the day, I'll help you out."

"Again…how?"

"Do not question me or my motives."

Beck sighed. "Fine, I trust you."

"Thank you. If you'll excuse me, it's time to go to bed." Human Puss stepped out of his boots and was instantly the black cat again.

"Still weird," Beck laughed to himself as he fashioned a bed of hay. While trying to rest, the cat curled up beside him. "It's a little weird when you do this as a cat now that I know that you're part human." Puss backed away. "Thank you."

…

The next day while Beck struggled to find work, Human Puss was getting himself accustomed to doing human things. "Thumbs, man," Puss laughed to himself. "Why can't cats have thumbs?" He continued along his way whistling to himself until he literally stumbled upon a new girl.

"Oh good a human," she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Where?" Puss looked around before realization hit him. "Oh, you mean me."

She gave him a funny look. "Can you help me?"

"What are other humans for?"

"Is that a yes?" He nodded. "Okay, this is my first time going to market alone for the queen and I sorta, kinda, got lost. Could you tell me where I am?"

"I'm sorry; I don't even know where I am. But I can travel with you to help find the market."

"That'd be nice. I'm Tori by the way."

"Tori by the way? What a strange name."

"No, my name is Tori. Just Tori."

"Make sense; most humans I know have one name anyway."

"Uh-huh. So, what's your name?"

"Uh…what do you think it is?"

"I dunno…Andre?"

Puss smiled. "Andre! Yeah, that's my name now."

Tori continued to give him a strange look. "Right. Well, Andre, thanks again for helping me."

"No problem, Tori."

"So do you live in this kingdom?"

"Not at first. I was just passin' through and then I took up residence with a late farmer and his wards."

"Sorry to hear about his passing."

"Yeah, he didn't leave much and now I got a new master."

"I guess that's good. So what do you do for a living?"

"Catch mice."

"Um…okay."

"What do you do?"

"I work for the queen. I'm her right hand maiden basically."

"That's really cool."

"Yeah, not really; she can be tough."

"Ah."

"Not as tough as the princess though."

"Princess?"

"The queen's adopted daughter, Princess Jade. Jade is…well she…Jade scares me."

"I wouldn't know, I haven't met them."

"Would you like to? I could take you back to the castle after a trip to the market. I'm sure the queen would like you. Maybe not the princess, but maybe the queen."

A plan was formed in Andre's head. "Yeah, yeah that could work."

"But maybe we should find the market first."

…

Beck kept waiting for Andre's return as it got darker. Eventually, he got bored and headed to the barn where he stayed the night before. "Stupid lying cat," Beck kicked the ground. "And to think I actually believed him!"

"There you are!" Andre came running up to him.

"Puss, where have you been?"

"You'll never guess-it's Andre now- where I've been!"

"Andre?"

"It's my new human name. You don't like it?"

"It's better than Greg. Okay, Andre, where have you been?"

"Well I was learning how to be human when I met Tori and helped her find the market. She was so pleased she took me to the castle where she works and I met the queen."

"Queen Helen?"

"Yeah. Queen Helen liked me so much she invited me to take permanent residence in her castle."

"Did you?"

"I told her it's a good offer, but I was of no importance and I had a master."

"You seriously used the term master?"

"She asked me who my master was and I said he's pretty important. When she asked how important I…stretched the truth of your importance."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her you were a prince."

"You did what?"

"Relax, Beck. I'm probably never gonna see the queen again, so you won't meet her."

"I hope not."

"Until tomorrow."

"What?"

"See, Tori informs me of their carriage strolls every Friday. Their strolls also happen to be near the kingdom's river. So tomorrow, you're gonna bathe in the river as she rides by."

"Hold up; I'm gonna be naked in front of royalty?"

"It's all part of my genius idea."

"What is wrong with you?"

"Just trust me."

"I don't know if I should anymore."

"Please, this plan is foolproof."

"But I'll be in front of royalty, completely naked! Why do I have to be naked?"

"You just do, alright!"

"But why?"

"Stop questioning me and find me some chocolate beverage."

…

The next afternoon, Andre kept watch for the queen while Beck waited in the river in his birthday suit. "Andre, is this really gonna work?" Beck asked.

"Trust me."

"I'm getting cold."

"Shh," Andre shushed, "I hear hooves. Now, it's showtime." Andre stood in the middle of the road as the carriage approached.

"WHY HAVE WE STOPPED?" Queen Helen sounded angry as she exited the carriage, but she smiled when she saw Andre. "Well, hello there Andre."

"You're majesty," Andre bowed. "So lovely to see you again."

"Isn't it? What are you doing in the middle of the road?"

"I've been trying to flag down a passing carriage. See, my master, Prince Beck, was bathing in the river and someone stole his clothes."

"Bathing in the river?"

"There's something wrong with the castle plumbing again. You think you can help?"

"I suppose he can wrap himself with the blanket we store in here. Come fetch it and present the prince to me."

"Yes, your majesty." Andre took the blanket from Helen and went back to Beck. "See, they had a blanket."

"What if they didn't have a blanket?" Beck retorted.

"All sleds and carriages carry extra blankets in case of unpredictable weather. Come on, the queen wants to meet you."

"No!"

"But the queen-"

"This blanket is a little small."

"It's not supposed to cover your whole body. Just cover your lower half and I'll gladly loan you my vest." Andre pulled off his vest and handed it to Beck.

"So that's why you wore that tacky vest today?"

"Don't judge the vest."

"I ain't getting any younger!" Queen Helen hollered.

"Come on," Andre pulled Beck toward the queen before Beck had the chance to finish buttoning the vest, thus exposing his torso. "Your majesty, this is my master, Prince Beck."

"Charmed to meet you," Helen held out her hand.

Andre got a good look at Beck's confused expression. So he pretended to cough while telling Beck to, "Kiss her hand."

"It's, uh…nice to meet you too your majesty," Beck kissed the queen's hand.

Helen giggled. "My goodness you are handsome. And that hair is to die for." She played with his hair. "Such a gorgeous young prince."

"Thank you…I guess."

"Oh, don't be so modest. Well, a prince can't be seen like that in public. Come on, I'll take you my castle and have my royal tailor make you something fancy."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

"We're royalty; you may call me Helen."

"Thank you…Helen."

Helen giggled at the way Beck said her name. "Such a pretty boy." She led him and Andre into her carriage.

"Who are these losers?" this was another voice.

Helen made an annoyed grunt sound. "This is Jade."

"Princess Jade."

"Yeah, yeah, we know who you are. Jade, this is Andre and Prince Beck."

Beck looked at the princess. "So, do I kiss your hand?"

"Not unless you want me to cut off yours," Jade remarked back.

"Tell me, are you always this pleasant?"

"Are you always this annoying?"

"How have I annoyed you?"

"Your existence is annoying!" Beck leaned back in the carriage as Jade coyly smiled. "Don't have a comeback, huh?"

"Don't need one. At least I know people like me for me and not because I'm some fake royal."

"I'm a princess!"

"Adopted princess!" Jade kicked his shin. "OW!"

"I thought a prince was supposed to be strong and heroic."

"I thought a princess was supposed to be-"

"See that's your first mistake…you thought. Princes don't think."

"A good prince would. But you wouldn't know anything good would you?" Jade glared at him.

"I can see why Tori's scared of her," Andre whispered to Helen.

"She scares me too," Helen whispered back. "But Beck is the first person I've ever seen stand up to her."

"He's pretty cool isn't he?"

"I think she likes him."

Andre gave her a funny look. "Jade?"

"I can tell she likes him by the way she looks."

Andre got a good look at Jade. "She's glaring evilly at him."

"Not as evil as usual. If Beck and Jade were to marry, this could be beneficial to our kingdoms…somehow. I just wanna plan a royal wedding." Helen smiled at the couple.

"Macho idiot," Jade insulted.

"She-devil," Beck insulted back.

After this, both of them leaned back in their seat and crossed their arms. Helen chuckled at this. "So sweet."

…

So nothing really eventful happened in the past few days. Andre, being really smart, made up some excuse why Beck couldn't go back to the castle- that people bought- and the two friends stayed at Queen Helen's castle. And kinda like _Beauty and the Beast_, the more time Beck and Jade spent with each other, the more they started to like each other.

"Jade's actually becoming somewhat decent the more she hangs out with Beck," Tori commented on this. "I think they really do like each other."

"Has Jade always been this evil?"

"Once she wasn't so bad. This was when she had a best friend named Cat. Then one day Cat just…disappeared."

"Where?"

"Who knows? Cat and Jade were playing in the forest when Cat wandered off somewhere and was never seen again. Ever since then Queen Helen's forbidden Jade to go play by the swamp."

"What swamp?"

"It's somewhere in the forest. I've been there. I know there's a road near the swamp that leads to some castle."

Andre started to remember something. "Yeah, I know that castle…I know it pretty well."

"Oh, is it the castle where Beck lives?" Andre didn't answer. "Andre?"

"I hear a mouse."

"Right, you're a mouse catcher. If you do get rid of it, don't kill it."

"No promises," Andre started to follow noises in the walls to a room with cleaning supplies. "GOT YOU!" He lunged for the mouse, but the mouse put up a struggle. "OH, NO YOU DON'T!"

Beck heard the noise, "Andre?" he opened the door to find Andre eating the mouse. "Okay, that's gross."

"It's an acquired taste."

"No, it's just gross. Listen, we've been here nearly a month, and I think the queen's getting suspicious. I think it's about time we left."

"Left what? Left this life to the life you were living in poverty? Beck-"

"I can't keep pretending to be a prince. What if Helen or Jade ask to see my castle, which I do not have."

"Like that's gonna happen."

Jade came up to Beck. "Take me to your castle."

"What?" The boys asked.

"Your castle's near the swamp; I need to go back to that area."

"Why?"

"I have my reasons. Let's go to your castle."

"Now?"

"Shouldn't you wait til morning?" Andre suggested.

"I'd have to sneak out before anyone can catch me."

"Maybe you should get some sleep first."

"No, now let's go to your castle."

"I think Andre's right," Beck agreed with Andre. "I think we should wait until tomorrow."

"But someone will know I'm gone."

"Then I'll come up with an excuse for us to sneak out of here together."

"You'd lie for me?" Was Jade softening?

"Yeah." The two of them stared at each other for a moment. "Um…maybe you should get some sleep." Jade just nodded at him. "Goodnight Princess."

"Night Beck," she gave him a quick peck on the lips and headed off to her room.

"Now that the public displays of affection are done," Andre began, "what are you gonna do about the castle."

"I'm gonna tell Jade the truth," Beck decided.

"Uh-huh, you don't wanna do that."

"I love her."

"Are you crazy?"

"No. And if she loves me, we'll find a way to be together. But I wanna be honest with her."

"You are crazy! Keep up the charade."

"Andre!"

"Look, I know everything there is to know about this castle and who lives in it now. I'm gonna sneak out tonight and secure the castle for you by afternoon tomorrow."

"Were you a prince or something?"

"Nah, I was abandoned there as a baby and the king and queen treated me like their son…except they didn't name me. They just called me son because they didn't know what to name me."

"Who lives there now?"

"The witch who turned me into a cat."

"How reassuring."

"I wanna stop her after what she did to me. This is personal, and this time, I'm gonna win. Trust me."

"Andre-"

"Trust me. I'm gonna bring everything back to stop her and get you the castle, you'll see."

…

Andre failed.

"What part of all powerful witch don't you understand?" the witch who looked like Trina asked after she (once again) turned Andre into a cat. But since she cursed him before with the same spell, Andre was now a talking cat who stood upright in boots. "Now, to the dungeon with you." Trina transported Andre to a dungeon.

But he wasn't alone. "Ooh, kitty," a perky redhead went over to pet Andre.

"I am not a- could you scratch behind my ears- cat!"

"I'm Cat!"

"Cat? Were you friends with Princess Jade?"

"Yeah, we were playing and then I somehow ended up in the castle where the witch kept me prisoner."

"Same thing happened to us," a familiar voice said from the dungeon across from them.

Andre saw who was in the dungeon across from him. "Robbie and Sinjin?"

"Did that cat just talk?" Sinjin asked.

Robbie nodded. "I'm weirded out that he knows our names."

Cat gasped with delight. "He's a magic kitty!"

"Maybe he is," Sinjin agreed.

"If he is magic," Robbie started, "then he should be able to free us."

"I ain't magic," Andre told them. "I'm just a victim of Trina's spells…again." Andre suddenly perked up. "I smell a mouse," and without even knowing it, he escaped the cell by going through the bars (luckily he was small enough to fit through) and started to chase the mouse.

"Look, the magic kitty's free!" Cat pointed.

"Huh?" Andre looked around. "Huh, guess I am. Now I can free you guys and…Beck!"

"Beck?"

"That's Beck's cat!" Robbie remembered. "I knew he looked familiar."

"No, Beck's on his way over here with the princess. I gotta get to him before Trina." Andre hurried up the dungeon stairs and into the castle hall where Beck and Jade were entering. "BECK!" Andre ran up to him.

"Andre?" Beck knelt to Andre's level. "Andre, what happened?"

"Your castle's been taken over by a witch and she turned me into a cat! She's also got Robbie, Sinjin, and Cat locked away in the dungeons."

"Who's Cat?"

"We gotta get you out of here before something wonky happens." Everything went dark and doors and windows locked themselves. "Too late."

Trina groaned. "Seriously, more people."

"Keep up the charade," Andre whispered to Beck. "Fight for your castle."

"Is there a plan B?" Beck inquired back.

"Do it!"

As if by coincidence, there were statues of them scary armored knights with swords. So, Beck grabbed a sword. "Get out of this castle!"

"Who's going to make me?" Trina started to laugh. She used her magic to make Beck's sword and the statues with swords disappear. "Oh great, now there are no statues." Trina zapped Beck and Beck instantly froze. "That's better."

Beck tried to move. "Why can't I move?"

"Why are you still talking? My spells must be getting rusty." Trina shrugged and started to move closer to Jade. "Now, what to do with you." Jade punched Trina square in the face. "You hit me in the face! My beautiful face!"

"I was trying to improve your ugliness!"

"That's it, it's sleeping death for you!" Trina zapped Jade, and Jade instantly fell to the ground unconscious.

"JADE!" Beck tried to move, but he couldn't. "Bring her back!"

"Why?"

"I'll let you torture me all you want, but bring Jade back!"

"Hmm…tell you what; I'll lock her in the tallest tower the way she is and still torture you."

"Leave them alone Trina!" Andre defended. "If you're gonna hurt anyone, it's gonna be me."

"What can I do with you? I've stricken you with my magic twice, I can't do anything to you anymore. Well, I can do this," Trina transformed herself into a dog, frightening Andre.

As Andre tried to run, he tripped over his boots. "My boots!" Andre formed a plan. "A dog? Puh-lease."

Trina turned back to normal. "You were scared."

"For a second or two. I bet you can't turn into anything small like…like a bug or something."

"Just you watch." Trina turned herself into a little bug. "See!"

Andre moved closer and looked down. "See this," he squashed Trina with his boot. Now there was no more Trina. Everything that was affected by her magic suddenly became normal again. Inanimate objects changed first, then parts of the castle, then Jade woke up, Beck unfroze, and Andre was human again. "I am awesome!"

So to wrap everything up, Beck and Jade got married and moved into the swamp castle. Keeping his word, Beck allowed Robbie and Sinjin to live there too. Jade was nice enough to let Cat stay, and she even let Tori stay as long as Tori worked for her. As for Andre, Beck made him a royal advisor and made him Baron of the new kingdom Trina used to rule over.

And Andre never ate another mouse again.

**…**

"_That's it," Andre finished._

_Tori smiled at him, "That was really good Andre. I didn't know you were a good storyteller."_

"_I am, but I tell stories through music mostly."_

"_Thanks for giving me a big part, Dude," Beck thanked his friend._

"_Andre, you freed me from the dungeon right?" Sinjin asked._

_Lane sighed. "Sinjin, what did I tell you about getting too attached to the stories?"_

"_It was good."_

"_It was okay," Jade commentated._

"_That's the nicest thing Jade's said about any story," Beck noted._

"_Andre," Sikowitz began, "I couldn't help but realize your story focused primarily on your friends, and not the adults."_

"_I wasn't in it either!" Rex reminded._

"Puss in Boots_ only had like a few characters," Andre stated, "I tried to make room for everyone."_

"_Wasn't it a king instead of a queen?" Lane asked._

"_Yeah, but you guys are staff, Helen's the principal and she's your boss."_

"_I can see why you're making her queen."_

_Cat was trying to think. "Phooey! I don't have anything to say about your nice story Andre."_

"_Me neither," Robbie agreed._

"_Do ever think for yourself you loser?" Jade rudely questioned Robbie._

"_Hi yeah," Trina brought attention to herself, "you made me the villain and you killed me? I'm a little offended by this because none of the rest of you killed the villains."_

"_I liked that too," Jade smiled._

"_I'm with Jade," Beck agreed._

"_Thank you babe," she gave her boyfriend a kiss._

"_I'm a guy," Andre pointed out, "I like when the good guys kill the bad guys in a fairy tale. Besides, if a bad guy isn't killed, he comes back stronger in the sequel."_

"_But you weren't gonna tell another story," Tori informed._

"_You never know. Someone might want an encore story. So, who's telling the last story?"_

"_The last person in the room," Lane pointed to Beck._

"_Here you go, Beck," Andre handed Beck the flashlight._

"_I'm not sure what to tell," Beck admitted. "I don't really care for fairy tales."_

"_Is there a cartoon you like that's like a fairy tale?" Tori asked._

_Beck thought this through. "Now that you mention it…I don't think so. But I did see this Disney cartoon a while ago on YouTube I think I can work with. It is based off of a fairy tale anyway."_

"_Ooh," Cat seemed excited, "tell your story!"_

"_Okay," Beck cleared his throat and started his story._

* * *

><p><strong>And it's finally done! In addition to writer's block, you can blame my mom's computer restarting and me having to basically write this over after losing a lot of work. I should keep it updated on a flash drive because my mom usually restarts her computer once a month for God knows what reason.<strong>

**For the record; I haven't seen the Puss in Boots movie. The story is about a farmer/miller's son who inherits the cat, and the cat wants a pair of boots. So the kid gets him some boots and to pay him back, the cat starts giving gifts to the king saying they're from his master who he lied is a Marquis. So Puss learns the king is riding by the river and tells his master to get naked and bathe in the river and Puss hides the clothes, stops the king saying 'my master's clothes are stolen', the king invites Puss' owner to the castle, and the owner falls in love with the princess. Well, the king wants to see a castle, and Puss knows one ruled by a magical ogre. Puss goes to the castle, tricks the ogre into becoming a mouse, eats the ogre, and everyone lives happily ever after.**

**It's not a fairy tale with morals, but it's still a fairy tale. I tried to stay true to the plot, but I made the king Queen Helen, and turned the ogre into Witch Trina.**

**Now, I was skeptical about turning Andre human because I was afraid someone would think of slavery. What with Andre calling Beck his master and working for him. Let me assure you, Andre is not a slave and I didn't want to portray him as one. So if anyone saw it like that, I'm sorry but it's not meant to be like that.**

**Okay, two more to go. I'll try to get 'em up faster, but no promises.**


	11. Beck's Tale

**Wow, apparently Andre's was good. I thought it lagged in places, but turned out pretty good. Hmm, I should take the win and shut up.**

**Anyway, no intro here. Just gonna get right into Beck's.**

* * *

><p>"<em>But I did see this Disney cartoon a while ago on YouTube I think I can work with. It is based off of a fairy tale anyway," Beck explained.<em>

"_Ooh," Cat seemed excited, "tell your story!"_

"_Okay," Beck cleared his throat and started his story._

**…**

In a place dubbed Happy Valley (but in all honesty it was just The Valley) there was a really cool castle on a hilltop and it overlooked the entire Happy Valley. So in this castle, there lived a magic singing harp. Whenever she sang, everything was all cool and things were like ten times happier. And something that made the harp happy was her pet goose. Now this goose was a pretty special goose who could lay golden eggs- which was kinda weird 'cause it was a male goose, so that in itself is pretty special.

But someone else wanted the goose to make themself happy and rumors swirled that that someone was an evil giant. One sunny day, a shadow of some sort crept over the valley all of a sudden both the goose and the harp were gone. Suddenly, Happy Valley was once again just The Valley and everything was like today's economy. There was barely any crops for food, the water supply had died down, everyone was dying…

…well, it's a little more extreme than today's economy. Bottom line; the Valley needed serious help.

So the central focus of the story is on the guy with the beanstalk. How does he get the beanstalk? We'll focus on that later; for now, let's focus on the guy and where he lives.

Near the end of the Valley, in a worn down cottage, lived our guy, Beck. Now Beck had gotten the cottage as a gift from his parents. See, he had gotten married and needed a place of their own to live in. And Beck lived there with his wife Jade. They still lived there too, even after the harp was gone. But due to taxes sucking, they couldn't afford to live there just themselves. So Beck's two closest friends, Andre and Robbie, who also lost their homes moved in with him and with the little money they made, they could afford to stay there…as best as they could. The money they earned went to paying taxes and the rest went to food- which wasn't a lot.

One day Beck returned home from working with a bag. "Hey guys," he greeted, "some guy was nice enough to give me his beans."

"Coolness," his bud Andre celebrated, "I'll get the plates."

"Where's Jade?"

"Jade? Oh, she won't come out of her room, don't know why, but she won't. Girl issues man"

"Okay, where's Robbie?"

"Trying to get the cow to milk. And by cow you know I mean the literal cow."

"Yeah."

"Never gonna make that mistake again," he was referring to the time he used the term cow in front of Jade.

Robbie entered through the back door with an empty bucket. "Well, the cow still won't milk," he threw the bucket away from him and went to the sink. "Do we have any ice?"

"No, why?"

"The cow kicked me in side of the head again."

"Dude, at least you're alive," Beck assured.

"Why must you be so optimistic?"

"Because someday things will get better and then I'll have bragging rights over you losers. Oh, some guy gave me some beans."

"Awesome!" Robbie took a seat at the table as Andre sat across from him. "Bring on the beans!"

Beck opened the bag to pour the beans onto a plate…but to his (and everyone else's) dismay, there was only one bean. He searched the bag. "That's it."

"I think you got gipped."

"You think?" Andre retorted back a little rudely.

"Whoa, calm down."

"Calm down? CALM DOWN! Robbie, there is only one bean! I call dibs!"

"No way, I call dibs!"

"We just have to share it," Beck informed. "I can cut this bean into four small pieces."

"I guess that's better than going hungry."

"Well your guess is stupid!" Andre snapped back at Robbie.

Beck turned to Andre. "Dude, Andre, chill. Breathe man," Beck took a few deep breaths and gestured for Andre to do the same, which he did.

Andre let out a final relaxed breath. "Alright, I'm chill."

"Jade, food!" Beck continued cutting the bean.

"Are those pieces all even?"

"Relax, everyone will get a decent sized piece of bean."

"Alright, cool."

"And just think; soon I'll have finished paying off all taxes on the cottage and then we can spend more money on food."

"Awesome!" Robbie and Andre high-fived each other.

"Hey Beck," Robbie began, "do you think we should sell the cow we have now for a better one that always gives milk?"

Before Beck could answer, Jade came to the table in a foul mood- then again, her mood was always foul. "What kind of food?" she asked bitterly.

"Bean," Beck answered.

"A whole bean for each of us?"

"Nope."

"Crap."

"I know it's bad, but-"

"Bad? What we're going through now is something I wouldn't wish on my enemy- and believe me I have a lot of enemies."

"I believe it," Robbie muttered. However, Jade heard him and socked him in the stomach. "OW!"

"Look, the cow is useless; let's kill it! You got that gun hanging on the wall that your Dad got me for protection USE IT!"

"No!" Beck protested. "Look, I'll go to market tomorrow and…where's Andre?"

Robbie pointed to the wall. "Beck, where's the gun?"

A gunshot was heard outside followed by a startled 'MOO'. Immediately, Beck and Robbie raced up to stop Andre. Jade…not so much. "I wanna watch him kill that thing!"

Much to Jade's dismay, Beck managed to stop Andre while Robbie tended to the cow. Andre was a bit teary. "I JUST GOTTA GET SOMETHING TO EAT!"

"You will," Beck assured. "Tomorrow I'm gonna sell the cow and I'm gonna ask for no less than five pence; that will buy us some food for a few days."

"I still would've killed the cow," Jade disagreed.

…

The next morning, Beck prepared the cow to be sold in the market. Unfortunately, he wasn't having any luck selling the cow. He didn't wanna sell the cow to be killed, but the only one who made a huge offer was the butcher. Beck sighed and spoke to the cow. "I'm sorry girl, but I have to sell you to the butcher." He started walking the cow to the butcher's when he came across a girl about his age wandering around. "Are you lost?"

"Not really," she smiled, "I just like to wander and create the illusion; it's a good way to meet a cute guy."

"I'm married."

"They all are," she sighed. "That's some cow you got there."

"If I wanna feed me and my friends for the next few days, I gotta sell her."

"Who are you selling her to?"

"The butcher made the best offer."

"Oh no, don't do that!"

"I don't want to."

"Then I'll buy her from you!"

"You will?"

"Yeah, I live in another Valley where everything's all lush and green; your cow will be happy there."

"Thank you…"

"…Tori."

"Thank you Tori."

"How much is she?"

"No less than five pence."

"I don't have enough. I figured a cow that weak would only be two pence anyway."

"Then I guess-"

"But I can give you the two pence I have and something else I'm sure will bring worth."

"Oh?"

Tori reached into her apron pocket and pulled out beans. "These beans are magic beans. I came to market to try to sell them; they've given my kingdom nothing but trouble."

"What kind of magic?"

"If you plant them, they will grow."

"But if you plant them, then the beans are gone, right?"

"Not in this case. And all you really have to do is put them in the ground and watch the magic. Once the magic's done, then you remove the beans."

"What would happen if we ate them?"

"We had our village idiot test this; absolutely nothing happens. Here," she handed him the three beans and the two pence and took the cow. "Best of luck, Beck."

Beck turned to leave, but realized something. "Hey, how do you know my…" she and the cow were gone, "…name?" He looked around. "Weird."

…

En route home, Andre and Robbie were in the kitchen celebrating what could be.

Andre's face lit up. "I know the butcher! Whenever he wants an animal he offers ten pence."

"Wow," Robbie stared off thinking of what could be. "Can you imagine the kind of food we could get with ten pence?"

"I've got some things in mind. How 'bout you?"

"I can see it now; turkey, lobster, sweet potato pie. Pancakes, piled up til they reach the sky!"

"Oh," Andre licked his lips letting the imagination get to him. "I wanna eat, and eat, and eat, and eat, and eat until I die."

"Lots of starches, lots of greens, and fancy chocolate covered…" the back door opened, "BECK!" The boys ran over to Beck as Jade came out of her room.

"Hiya guys," Beck greeted.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Where's the food?" Andre asked.

"Food?"

"He's probably waiting to take us into market tomorrow so we can pick what we want to eat," Robbie thought. "Is that right Beck?"

"Actually..."

"Beck," Jade moved closer to Beck, "what did you do?"

"I didn't wanna sell the cow away to be killed so I sold her to a mystery girl who gave me two pence and three beans."

"BEANS?" Andre snapped. "BEANS!"

"The girl, Tori, said they were magic beans."

"You can't trust a girl named Tori!" Jade yelled at her husband. "And why were you talking to a girl anyway?"

"She bought the cow from us for two pence and the three beans. Tori said-"

"Who cares what she said!" Jade grabbed the beans and threw them out the window. "You've done a lot of stupid things Beck, but this has got to be the stupidest." Jade brushed past him and toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"What do you care? You got your new 'Tori' girlfriend now and your 'magic beans'." Jade slammed the door as she left

"That was pretty stupid Beck," Robbie broke the silence. "I'm gonna sleep in Jade's room tonight." He started to walk away.

"Yeah, me too," Andre followed Robbie to the second bedroom that Jade had to herself.

Beck slumped down in a chair at the table. "I guess it was pretty stupid." He rested his head and ended up sleeping there for a night.

Unbeknownst to the three peasants, there was truly magic in those beans and if they looked they would have noticed the magic right before their eyes.

…

"BECK! BECK!" Robbie ran into the kitchen.

Beck groggily opened his eyes and yawned. "What time is it?"

"Who cares? You gotta see this," Robbie dragged Beck outside to where an equally awestruck Andre was standing. Together, the three of them looked at the enormous beanstalk that grew in their backyard and stretched into the heavens. "Whaddya think is up there?"

"Only one way to find out," Beck started to climb the giant stalk.

"You really think that's a good idea?" Andre questioned.

"We all wanna know what's up there don't we?"

"Well yeah."

"Then come on, let's go."

"You know; you might've slept in your clothes, but we didn't."

"Why are you outside in your pajamas anyway?"

"Because there's a giant frickin' beanstalk in our backyard!"

"Fair enough; go get dressed."

…

The climb up the beanstalk was a long, arduous climb, but once they reached the top…it didn't seem worth it. Andre threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Nothin' but clouds! CLOUDS! We came up this beanstalk to stand on clouds."

"If we were standing on clouds, wouldn't we fall to the ground?" Robbie pointed out.

"These aren't no ordinary clouds," Beck stomped his foot. "For one thing, they're solid. Like ground."

"Hey look!" Robbie pointed in the forward direction at a large castle in the distance.

"It's an entire kingdom in the clouds."

"Maybe they got food!" Andre started running toward the kingdom.

"Hey, wait up!" Robbie chased after him.

"I suppose I have no choice," Beck followed his comrades into the kingdom. "Guys hold on!" He stopped them. "Does this kingdom look familiar to you?"

Andre and Robbie looked around. "No!"

"Guys, this looks like Happy Valley."

"You know," Andre began, "it kinda does."

"I honestly don't remember what Happy Valley looked like when things were happy," Robbie confessed. "So, I guess it does."

"It don't look like anyone's up though."

"Yeah, the kingdom looks surprisingly empty. You think it's a magic spell or something."

"I dunno," Beck started walking forward. "A kingdom in the clouds via a beanstalk does seem pretty magical though." They continued walking through the kingdom. "But if this is a magical kingdom, shouldn't magical people live here…or any people in general?"

"I agree," Andre agreed. "It does seem like a pretty prosperous kingdom; people should live in it. You guys even said the kingdom looks like Happy Valley."

"A little too like Happy Valley. It's gotta be some sort of magic kingdom that duplicates other kingdoms."

Robbie gasped in thought. "Guys, what if the magic harp's in there?"

"What?"

"Think about it; the only reason Happy Valley looked like Happy Valley was when the harp sang. This kingdom looks exactly like Happy Valley."

"Well there's only one way to find out if the harp is in there. We gotta go inside the castle."

"But the harp was kidnapped by something phenomenal and freaky," Andre reminded. "What if the freaky phenom is in the castle?"

"It's a chance we're gonna have to take."

"Pass!" Both Andre and Robbie turned to leave.

"Well I'm going. If the harp is in there I gotta bring her back to the valley to save everybody from drought and starvation and get you guys out of my house."

"Maybe we like living with you, you ever think of that?" Andre defended.

Beck rolled his eyes and continued forward. "See you guys."

Robbie groaned and started to follow him. "If something happens to him we're witnesses." Andre sighed and also followed Beck to the giant castle.

…

Because the door was giant, the guys slipped through the crack in the door. "Keep quiet," Beck whispered as they started to search.

Andre started to sniff the air. "Hot dog, I smell hot dogs!" He followed his scent into the enormous dining room with Beck and Robbie cautiously following. "I'm climbin' up!" Andre led the others in the table climb.

"Whoa!" the three were mesmerized by the incredibly amount of gigantic food set among the gigantic table.

"There's enough to feed like ten kingdoms!" Beck noted. "We should probably take some food back to-"

"I WANT ME SOME MUFFINS!" Andre ran to the muffins.

"Never mind. I'm gonna get me some giant turkey."

Robbie shrugged and walked on. "Ooh, Jell-O." He desperately tried to get a piece of the giant gelatinous food to no avail. Climbing to the top of the mountainous Jell-O, he continuously tried to get a piece of the dessert, but ended up slipping and flying into a bowl of walnuts creating a loud noise that startled the others.

"Who's there?"

The three boys turned in fear when they heard the new voice. "Please tell me that was one of you imitatin' a girl?" Andre had panic in his voice.

"Is anyone there?" the girl voice asked again.

"It's coming from that box over there," Beck pointed to what looked like a miniature treasure chest…well, it was pretty big to them anyway because everything in this castle was like a thousand times bigger. "Anyone in there?"

"Ooh, yay another person!"

"It's definitely a girl. You guys give me a boost."

"Robbie's on bottom," Andre refused to be the support.

Robbie let out an agonized moan. "I'm always on bottom." He knelt down at the base of the chest, Andre climbed atop him, "Have you lost weight?"

"Yeah, but it's probably 'cause I haven't eaten in a while."

Beck then climbed the miniature pyramid and looked through the lock. "Guys it's the harp!"

"The harp?" Robbie and Andre asked this together

"What's the harp doing there?" Andre asked solo.

"I was just about to ask that," Beck assured as he looked back at the harp. "What are you doing here?"

"I was stolen by that mean giant."

"Oh, that seems logical. Hear that guys, she was stolen by a mean giant." And then the realization hit Beck. "A giant?"

"GIANT!" Robbie and Andre's panicking destroyed the pyramid and they tried to scatter.

"Guys!" Beck stood in the open. "We can't worry about that now. We have to take the harp back to the valley so she can sing and make everything better."

Robbie was the first to step forward. "Well…how? The box is locked and I'm pretty sure the giant's gonna have the key."

"I don't know; but we'll find a way...somehow." Beck turned to the box. "Don't worry harp, we'll get you out of there and back to the valley."

"Thank you," she thanked. "Oh, and my name is Cat."

"Cat?"

"Why do people always have that reaction?"

"Because you're a harp and your name is Cat."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said."

"KK! Oh, and could you save my pet goose too? Without him as my pet I don't sing as much."

"Um…" Beck looked at the cooked goose on the table. "Your goose wouldn't happen to be cooked would it?"

"No, he was kidnapped because he lays golden eggs."

"He?" Andre and Robbie shrugged when Beck looked at them. "Okay, we'll find your goose too."

"Yay!"

"Guys, we're gonna have to do this separately. Andre and I will look for the goose while Robbie brings the harp back to the valley."

"Why do I have to do it alone?" Robbie protested.

"You won't be alone, you'll have Cat to keep you company. Take her back to her castle so she can sing and restore Happy Valley."

"How do I get her out of the box?"

"Pyramid boost; Andre, you're on bottom."

"Aw mustard!" Andre knelt at the base of the box, Beck climbed atop him, and Robbie made his way to the top as he tried to open the box. "You think maybe we should've gotten the key first?"

Before Beck (or even Robbie) could answer, a series of loud thuds scared everyone. "It's the giant! Guys, hide!"

Andre was the first to slide away, then Beck got himself up and ran, as for Robbie…not so much. While trying to escape, his foot got caught in the keyhole. "Guys! Little help!" The thuds seemed louder and closer. "GUYS!"

"Well, what do we have here?" Towering over the table was an incredibly large, female giant who looked like Trina.

"Please don't eat me!"

She scoffed. "Ew, why would I eat you? I might be a giant but I'm not a cannibal. Now I distinctly heard you say 'guys'. Where are the others?"

"Did I say guys? It was a slip of the tongue. I meant to say…giant."

"Where are the others?"

"There are no others, really." Trina raised an eyebrow. "Okay, you caught me; I have imaginary friends."

"Okay you bore me; I have no choice but to squish you."

"What?"

"Leave him alone!" Beck stepped forward. "If you're gonna squish anyone it's gonna be me."

"So you were talking to someone else?" Trina glared at Robbie. "But this is one guy. Where's the other one?"

"It doesn't matter! If you're gonna hurt anyone, it's gonna be me."

"So you wanna play hero huh? You know I don't care; I'm too lazy to care. Is the other guy behind the cup or not?"

Andre stepped out from behind the cup. "Don't squish me."

Trina rolled her eyes, "I'm too lazy Time for my nap!" She unlocked the box with the key she kept in her pocket and plucked up the golden harp before dropping the others in the box.

Or so she thought, Beck managed to dangle from the silver holders of the box as Trina moved the box to the top shelf and locked it, forcing Beck to be squished to the wall in the process. After putting the key back in her pocket, Trina leaned back in her seat as Beck, meanwhile, had crawled out from behind the box and went to the front and knocked on the box. "Are you guys okay?"

"It's better than being squished," Andre responded.

"How are we gonna get out of this jam Beck?" Robbie inquired.

"I'll think of something…somehow," Beck's reply wasn't so reassuring.

"Okay," Trina was talking to Cat, "entertain me."

Cat started to play music without having to touch the strings. She knew that this was Trina's weakness. Music from the harp would put Trina to sleep. As the intro wound down, Cat started to sing. Her beautiful voice enchanted even the three guys as they swooned at her sounds. While singing, she made some gestures at Beck, beckoning for him to come down at get the key from Trina's pocket.

As if by coincidence, the chest was placed next to sewing utensils. So Beck grabbed a needle from a basket of yarn and stuck it through the spool of thread- or whatever it was called guys don't really know sewing stuff. He tied part of the string over the needle and used the rest of the string to lower himself down. He breathed a sigh of relief once he landed on Trina's left shoulder and realized she was sleeping.

"_In the rest vest pocket, you'll find the key_," Cat was singing to cover up the ruse. "_The rest vest pocket, go carefully_." Once Beck made his way over there, Cat continued humming to keep Trina sleeping. With the key in his mouth, he managed to climb back onto the string. But he had to be careful because Trina had yawned and was stretching her giant arms beside the string. As Beck frantically tried to climb the string, he didn't realize he was pulling to hard the string tied to the needle was untied. Nearing the top, and still frantically pulling, Beck had pulled down all the string of the thread.

Thankfully, he managed to throw the edge of the key onto the end of the shelf and climb up the key.

Robbie moved some miscellaneous objects around and looked out of the keyhole. "Here he comes with the key!"

"Let me see!" Andre threw Robbie down and stuck his face through the hole as Beck pushed the key in while sitting on the spool. "OW!"

"Sorry," Beck helped them up out of the box. "Help me get some more yarn around the spool so we can get down."

"Then we can go home, right?"

"Not without Cat," Robbie reminded.

"Robbie's right," Beck agreed. "Robbie, you take the harp and head down the beanstalk while Andre and I search for the goose." He handed some yarn to Robbie. "You go down the string first and get Cat out of here."

"Right," Robbie carefully went down the string rope and landed on the table. "Hello, milady," he bowed. "I'm Robbie and I'll be your rescuer."

"Ooh, yay!"

He tried to pick Cat up, but she was a golden harp and kinda heavy. "You think you can walk back to the valley?"

"If you can hold my hand for balance," she put her hand in his.

"A girl is letting me touch her hand."

"Robbie, go!" Beck and Andre ordered.

"Right," Robbie started leading the harp back to the beanstalk as Andre and Beck began their search for the goose.

…

Beck and Andre didn't have to search too far for the goose. Trina kept him tied up beside a chair in the living room. Freeing the goose, Beck shoved it at Andre. "You start taking him down the beanstalk, I'm gonna see if I can steal some food. When you get down, start cutting the stalk, I won't be far behind." Andre nodded and headed out of the castle as Beck went back into the kitchen and climbed the table to get some food for the village.

"HEY!" Trina woke up to no music. "Where's my entertainment?" As she looked around the first thing she noticed was Beck staring back at her in fear. "Well, well, well if it isn't our hero boy."

"Nope, not me, wrong guy," Beck gulped. "I'll just be…leaving!" Beck threw the food down and started to run.

"Oh no you don't!"

Beck was kinda stuck here. If he got down on the floor, there was a good chance he could be squashed by the giant. Frantically looking around he noticed a bubbling champagne bottle. Not questioning why an underage giant had this, he undid the cork and flew out the open window atop the cork as Trina crashed through her castle.

"Do you know how much this is going to cost in repairs?" She screamed as she started to chase him.

Now Beck might have been small, but he was kinda fast- and Trina couldn't spot him in the giant grass so well. But the beanstalk was in the clouds and not grass so when Beck made it to the beanstalk, she spotted him a little better and started climbing down herself.

Down in the valley, Andre came out with two saws. "Robbie, start cuttin' one side."

"What about Beck?" Robbie asked.

"We'll try to catch him or somethin'! Just start cuttin'!"

As the two guys hurriedly started to cut down the stalk, Beck managed to slide down and assist them. This made the process faster and the stalk started to fall. "TAKE COVER!" Beck warned them as the boys scattered. And no sooner had they taken cover, there was a literal earth shattering thud indicating the giant had fallen to her death.

…

And after that, the valley was once again happy. Once the giant's body was disposed, the guys took Cat back to her castle where her magic singing made everything better in a matter of minutes. She even made them honorary protectors and invited them to live in her castle with her and her goose. While Robbie happily accepted her offer, Beck declined deciding he was comfortable living his life in his cottage. Even though it took Andre a moment to decide, Andre agreed that it would be best for him to seek his fortune elsewhere. And who should he meet when he tried that? He meant a band of gypsies led by the mysterious Tori girl and she accepted him into the group and taught him how to be one of the best gypsies ever. Jade even returned back to the cottage with Beck- slightly peeved with him once she learned that they could've lived in a castle- but still they were back together.

**…**

"_And I guess they lived happily ever after," Beck concluded._

"_That wasn't _Jack and the Beanstalk_!" Tori was the first to speak. "That was_ Mickey and the Beanstalk!_"_

"_Partly. See, either way it's based off of the story of _Jack and the Beanstalk_. And the Disney version had no mention of the goose that laid the golden egg even though the original story did."_

_Rex raised his hand. "I couldn't help but notice that I was not mentioned."_

"_Nor was I," Sikowitz added. "Or was I? It's so hard to tell."_

"_I don't think I was in it either," Sinjin remembered. "Unless one of us was the unnamed goose."_

"_Beck," Lane began, "you only put in your main friends and Trina."_

"_Well yeah," Beck started to explain. "The story isn't really heavy on characters and I put in mostly _Mickey and the Beanstalk_ to give out a few more parts. I also adjusted Jack's mother and turned her into Jade and I gave Tori a part as the person who sold them the beans because for some reason every story has to involve Tori."_

"_Hey!" Tori seemed upset by that._

"_Well, it does. You're either a lead role, or a serious supporter. At least you were still in this."_

"_Yeah, but why wasn't I the harp. I figured I'd be that."_

_Jade decided to answer this one. "Because the harp is beautiful and everybody loves her."_

"_Then shouldn't I have been the harp?" Trina asked. "I mean I am beautiful and everyone loves me."_

"_No see, like your sister you're not beautiful and not everyone loves you. In fact…NO ONE LIKES YOU!"_

"_Well!"_

"_And I can't think of a single person who doesn't like Cat."_

"_I don't like Cat," Rex admitted._

"_I said person, not puppet."_

"_I am o-fended."_

_Cat on the other hand was all smiley. "Yay, I'm loved!"_

"_Well I thought it was good," Andre confessed._

"_Yeah," Robbie agreed. "And I think out of all the versions of that story _Mickey and the Beanstalk_ is the one everybody likes and remembers the best."_

"_It actually was good," Lane admitted. "Given with what you had to work with you combined two different stories of _Jack and the Beanstalk _pretty decently."_

"_Really?" Beck looked confused. "Because the female giant was kinda an homage to the second act of _Into the Woods_."_

"_Okay, three versions."_

"_Regardless of what everyone says, I liked it," Jade told Beck. "And I'm glad you give Tori a crappy role."_

"_Hey!" Tori objected._

"_I think you've told the best story Beck."_

"_Thanks Babe," Beck kissed his girlfriend._

_Lane stifled a fake cough. "Kiss each other on your own time! If I've told you children once about personal displays of affection I've told you a thousand times!"_

"_Well," Sikowitz clapped his hands together. "It looks like everyone in here managed to tell their story and-"_

"_Hold up whackjob!" Rex interrupted, "there is still one person who has yet to tell his fable!"_

"_Whom?"_

"_Me you crazy hippie!"_

"_He is right," Robbie agreed with the puppet._

"_I guess you were all saving the best for last."_

"_I dunno Rex; your stories are kinda quick and self-centered."_

"_So. The whackjob hippie said everyone tells a story and I have one."_

"_Do we have to hear it?" Jade lamented._

"_Yes!" Rex turned to Trina. "And unlike these other losers, I make you my princess in this story."_

"_Ooh," Trina seemed intrigued. "Go on."_

_Rex did his trademark chuckle. "Alright puppets, it's Rex's turn to tell a story!"_

* * *

><p><strong>HALLELUJAH THIS ONE IS DONE!<strong>

**This one was so hard to format. In the end, I mostly went with the Disney version because that one is a better known version, but I did put in a few things that weren't in **_**Mickey and the Beanstalk**_**; but just a few little things.**

**I bet you all assumed Beck's would be the last one didn't you? Be honest.**

**Oh, hey. I also want you to be honest on who you think told the best story. Personally, I can't choose because I'm the author and I think while some are good, some do lack. They're not all perfect, and I didn't intend for them to be; I just tried something new and so far it seems it didn't backfire on me. I love to hear what people think and I'm dying to hear what the readers think of the stories. Feel free to rank your favorites, tell me your most favorite, least favorite, why, whatever you have to say you can say it.**

**So sorry for the delay, I hope you all had a happy holidays and I've got one more chapter up my sleeve.**


	12. Rex Concludes with his Story

**LAST CHAPTER!**

**Why? Because there's one more person who's going to tell a story and then they gotta get out of the theatre in perhaps one of the most easily stupidest ways ever with a pathetic reason…let's just say it's someone's fault they're still stuck there.**

**Because Rex's stories are short and self-centered (hey it's Rex he is short and self-centered) this will be short and self-centered. Because it's gonna be shorter than what goes in in the real world, Rex's story will be italicized (it's interesting because he's a puppet and the only italicized story). So don't hate me for that, but all the ones I've done are long and I wanted to do a real short one.**

**And if you're curious to know what's going be told before you read; I suggest you read the end of chapter 3 when I name all the fairy tales and via process of elimination, I'm sure you can figure it out.**

* * *

><p>"Hold up whackjob!" Rex interrupted Sikowitz, "there is still one person who has yet to tell his fable!"<p>

Sikowitz looked around the room confused. "Whom?"

"Me you crazy hippie!"

"He is right," Robbie agreed with the puppet.

"I guess you were all saving the best for last."

"I dunno Rex; your stories are kinda quick and self-centered."

"So. The whackjob hippie said everyone tells a story and I have one."

"Do we have to hear it?" Jade lamented.

"Yes!" Rex turned to Trina. "And unlike these other losers, I make you my princess in this story."

"Ooh," Trina seemed intrigued. "Go on."

Rex did his trademark chuckle. "Alright puppets, it's Rex's turn to tell a story!"

**…**

_Once there was a handsome prince who miffed off some hot witch named Tori and she turned him into a puppet. She said it was 'cause he was a jerk and some other non-important stuff and the spell could be reversed if he can get kissed by a legitimate princess. The first princess he met, the equally hot Princess Jade, was a grunch who already had a boyfriend named Beck (who wasn't as handsome as Prince Rex even when Rex was a puppet). The second princess was Princess Cat. Princess Cat was a ditzy, unattractive redhead. Rex, being awesome, would never go for a chick like that; so he set her up with some awkward peasant named Robbie and for some reason that started a freaky romance- I mean a nerd and a ditzy redhead, tell me that's not freaky. So he kept wanderin' off until he came across an equally hot princess who was sitting at a well._

"_What up?" the puppet asked the princess._

"_Why would I talk to you?" the princess said back._

"_I thought I could help you out seein' as you're all wonky and stuff."_

"_My solid gold ball fell down the well and I'm not getting it. I don't do work."_

"_If I do this, could you let me stay in your castle for a while?"_

"_Um, whatever; just get me my ball."_

_Doing a trademark chuckle, the hero threw himself into the well and managed to get the girl back her ball. But instead of helpin' him outta the well, the girl just took her golden ball and went back to her castle. What a gank!_

_Anywho, the puppet found his way to the castle where he met up with the 'royal counselor' Lane- seriously, do castles need royal counselors. Prince Rex- the puppet in case you forgot his awesome name- told the guy about the conversation he had with Princess Trina and Lane convinced the king and queen that Trina should honor her promise._

_Thus Rex was livin' in luxury in the castle tryin' every trick he could to get Princess Trina to like him, but none of his tricks worked. So (to give the freaky whackjob a part in this story) Rex enlisted the assistance of the royal wizard to help create spells to make Trina fall in love with him. But the whackjob wizard was a fail at what he did and it was no use._

_Because the world wouldn't exist without TV, there was also TV back in this time (why, because it should be that way). While watchin' some romantic gunk, Rex got an idea._

"_Hey Princess," he said to her, "no one will ever love you and I bet you can't beat me up."_

_This caused Trina to beat him up and throw him violently against the wall. Rex then muttered in agony repeatedly and Trina went over to him and kicked him repeatedly. "Shut up!"_

"_I'm…I'm sorry about what I said," he tried to sound all 'dyingy', "I…lo…lo…love you." And the puppet (pretended) to kick the bucket._

"_Good riddance!" That didn't work!_

"_Woman, kiss me and I'll turn into a handsome prince!"_

"_Why didn't you say that before?"_

"_Would you have believed that?"_

"_Yeah, you're a talking puppet."_

"_Oh…just kiss me."_

"_Fine," so the princess kissed the puppet and he turned into a sexy, shirtless guy who looked like Taylor Lautner. "Wow, you are hot."_

"_I know."_

_And Rex lived happily ever after._

**…**

"That was the end," Rex concluded.

"That was the worst," Jade remarked.

"Yeah, it was mean," Cat agreed.

"It was totally self-centered," Tori added. "I don't even think anyone knew that was supposed to be _The Princess and the Frog_!"

"That was the _Princess and the Frog_?" Andre inquired.

"Well it was Rex's version of it anyway."

"And it was short compared to everyone else's," Robbie pointed out.

"It wasn't the best," Lane inputted. "But I do like that you stuck to the original story and didn't have to venture off to the Disney version. I don't appreciate that you put a TV in the middle ages."

"Taylor Lautner is gorgeous," Trina was thinking of something totally different.

Beck decided to discuss his viewpoint. "The only dialogue was between you and Trina and you and Trina are rude self-centered jerks."

"Hey!"

"I know," Rex agreed with Beck's point. "It's like Trina and I were made for each other." He made kissy noises at Trina.

"Robbie, your puppet's weird."

"Wait I'm confused," Sinjin didn't understand, "who was the puppet and who was the prince?"

"Rex was a prince who turned into a puppet who turned back into the prince," Lane clarified.

"Well maybe I'd understand it if it was longer and better told."

"I couldn't help but notice I wasn't in that story," Sikowitz stated.

Lane let out an exasperated sigh. "Sikowitz, you were the whackjob wizard."

"No he wasn't!" Rex objected. "Sinjin was."

"What?"

"I said _freaky _whackjob and that clearly describes Sinjin."

Sinjin nodded. "Even I knew that character was me."

"I like Sinjin better than the whackjob over there." Rex nodded in Sikowitz's direction.

"Hey," Andre stood up, "now that all the stories are done should we try lookin' for a way out or something?"

"All the main doors are blocked," Tori reminded.

"Then I guess it's best we use the emergency exit," Sikowitz casually stated.

"Emergency exit?"

"Yes, it's backstage clearly marked 'emergency exit'."

"I was backstage and I didn't see that!"

"Oh, that's what I forgot to do!"

Lane was looking a little peeved. "Sikowitz, you forgot to replace the emergency exit tape on the door didn't you?"

"Classic Sikowitz," Sikowitz was laughing. "But seriously, yes I did you should never depend on me to do things."

No one looked more peeved than Jade. "We could've been out of here hours ago?"

"Maybe I wanted some company…and since we are at school I am technically responsible for children."

"But we didn't have to be at this school!"

"I thought you guys were supposed to perform a play before the earthquake hit?" Sinjin questioned.

"I think natural disasters are good excuses to go home," Beck casually suggested.

Cat raised her hand. "You know what I think?"

"No one cares!" Jade snapped back. Cat let out an upset squeak.

"Jade!" Tori turned to Cat. "Tell us what you think?"

"I think what we did was fun," Cat defended. "It was nice to sit around with all my friends and tell fun stories. It made us forget about the earthquake, and the play, and Robbie's broken foot."

"That reminds me," Jade went over to Robbie, "does this hurt?" She kicked his broken foot.

"OW!" Robbie screamed out in pain.

"Just wanted to make sure it was still broken; we all forgot about it didn't we?"

"Gank!" She kicked his foot again. "OW!"

"Okay," Beck pulled her away from Robbie, "you're getting a time out when we get out of here."

"I agree with Cat," Andre agreed.

Tori smiled. "It was pretty fun wasn't it?"

"It was nice to see us characters in alternate stories," Rex added.

"Maybe we should do this again sometime?" Robbie asked.

Then the group all responded with a simultaneous, "Nah!"

"So are we not doing the play?" Sinjin asked.

"I guess we gotta put off another play," Lane replied.

"Aww! Why do bad things happen to plays on opening night?" Tori lamented.

"Gee," if Jade was speaking this was going to be insulting, "it's only the plays that you're involved with." Yep.

"Your insults hurt you know."

"That's why they're insults!"

"I think we should get going," Beck started leading Jade away. "We'll see you guys on Monday if we don't see you later."

"Whatever, bye losers."

"Seriously, you're getting a time out," they heard Beck say as he led Jade backstage and to the emergency exit.

"Maybe we should call Robbie an ambulance for his foot," Andre suggested.

"But our cell phones weren't working," Robbie reminded.

"Is Sikowitz to blame for that too?" Rex asked with sarcasm.

"Actually it's kind of my doing," Lane confessed. "I was getting really upset with people using their cellphones in the theatre- whether in the audience or in class- that I secretly installed a system that blocks all cell phone reception in this theatre. I guess that was a poor choice on my part, huh?"

"Wow," Sikowitz seemed in a sort of shock, "something that's not my fault."

"Didn't you try to get your cell phone to work?" Tori reminded.

"So I forgot about it," Lane admitted, "at least this is something I can easily fix…like putting the sticker on the emergency exit door!"

"I keep telling you people to put a flashy sign above the door indicating an emergency exit!" Sikowitz protested. "Now that I am insulted, I best be off! If only I can find the emergency exit." He wandered around.

Sinjin sighed and got up. "I'll help him look. I should be going anyway; I bet my family's wondering where I am."

"I'm getting out of here too," Trina grabbed her purse and went to leave. "I think I'll go squeeze in a foot bleaching by Foon-Yi."

Sinjin watched Trina leave. "That actually sounds better than seeing my family."

"You know," Robbie pointed to his foot, "I'm still injured here. Aw man, I drove here!"

"Don't worry Robbie," Cat put her hand on his shoulder, "I'll drive you to the hospital."

"That's really nice of you Cat…but I don't think you-"

"I think it's a good idea," Tori interrupted.

Andre gave Tori a funny look. "Tori, have you been in a car when Cat's driving?"

"I just think it's a good idea for Robbie and Cat to spend some more time together."

"To do what?" Cat asked.

"To um…" Tori gave a look to Andre that meant she needed his help.

"…work on your lines!" Andre quickly lied. "You guys are playing the romantic roles anyway aren't you? I think it's best that you practice."

"Yeah, especially the kissing."

"Why the kissing?" Robbie inquired.

"To make it look as real as possible so the audience believes your characters are in love with one another." Tori winked at him.

"Um…we've practiced that at least a thousand times and why did you wink? Is there something in your eye?"

"DUDE!" Rex was kinda exasperated, "she's tryin' to set you and the redhead up!"

"For what?"

"Do I gotta explain everything to you?"

"Could you explain in the car ride? My foot still hurts. Cat, can you help me?"

"KK!" Cat helped Robbie up off the floor and she adjusted him to lean on her for support. "Bye Tori and Andre!"

"See you guys later," Robbie waved as Cat led him out.

"They do make a cute couple," Tori commentated as they left.

"The cutest," Andre agreed. "Isn't traffic at its worst in California after or during an earthquake?"

"Usually."

"They're gonna be spending some time together."

"Yup. Well regardless of the traffic, Trina was my ride home and now I have no way to get home."

"Aw mustard, Robbie was my ride over here too!"

The two got excited when they heard whistling get closer. "LANE!" they ran over to him.

"You guys still haven't left yet?" Lane asked.

"We need a ride home," Tori informed.

"I can't do that now; I have to get to Seattle. I'm sorry, but I'm late. Sikowitz is still wandering in the theatre, ask him."

"Ask who what now?" Sikowitz, who appeared out of nowhere from behind Lane, scared Lane.

"Two things. One, don't ever do that again. Two, could you give Tori and Andre a ride home?"

"I suppose I could; if I can find an exit that's not blocked. Don't we have an emergency exit somewhere?"

"Classic Sikowitz," Tori and Andre said in unison.

* * *

><p><strong>ENDINGS GAH! I am like one of the worst enders ever! It's always so hard to come up with a good, or decent way to end a story and I think this one wasn't even adequate. Anyway, I was kinda on a deadline to get this one done before 2012 and I put aside other things to work on this so I hope this was a decent ending for you guys anyway.<strong>

**For the record; I don't like _Twilight_ at all...but Taylor Lautner is good looking.**

**Well, that is done. But I'm sure they'll be more from me. Usually I put **_**Victorious **_**in movie settings so if anyone has a movie they want me to parody **_**Victorious **_**style, I'm sure I can try that seeing as though all my fanfics are now done. I was thinking I would do one to the movie **_**Splash **_**but then I remembered I don't own the movie and it would be hard to outline because most of the characters are men and the only female is a mermaid. So if anyone's got a movie request, TV episode request from another TV show, or if for some reason you want me to do the **_**Splash **_**parody (which would be Cabbie) PM me or something and I'll see what I can do. I know I'm planning a short thing for a friend in January set to a popular movie if anyone's interested, but that won't be up til sometime in January.**

**Thanks for sticking with this story. I thought I'd do something new, and I hope it entertained you guys. **

**And since I'm not writing anything solo til 2012- I'm doing a collab w/ ashyboo02 called **_**Sarah Smiles**_** if anyone cares to read that- I wanna wish you all a Happy New Year. **

**So, here's hoping 2012 doesn't suck so bad. **

**Peace out!**


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